Being content

How many more resources do we need to spend to quench our desires on temporary things? I remember how I really want certain book title sometime ago. However, by now when i have already gotten it, it is not that desirable anymore. This small experience that I had, struck me with the thoughts of what we actually need and what we merely want. Behind this phenomenon, there are many possible reasons, but in my personal observation the games of discontentment take place. This kind of circle makes us feel less and want more. After getting one thing, we then start to be plagued with another wish and etc. But the danger of this mentality is that we would never feel enough. We toil and sweat but for the sake of accumulating things which ‘the moth will eat.’

What about the alternative disposition; that essentially in the hand of Good Shepherd we shall not want? We shall not be anxious about what we will eat and wear, because we shift our attention from seeking world attention and any of those gratifications toward the stewardship of Bountiful Lord. We know that we are just servants of Him who exalts one and humbles the other. It is His infinite wisdom that leads us by hand, and says, “Be still, and know that I am The Lord”.

This new dispositions will make a tremendous difference. We won’t be swallowed by the stream of materialism and worldliness. Why? Because then we know that it is The Lord who sends and sets everything for the goodness of those who love Him.

In other word, all things become blessing for His beloved ones. Be it a bright sky, or the dark night. Be it a mocking and oppressions, laughter or weeping, everything. Those blessings are sent as the rough edges stone to sharpen our soul. Through each moment of our life both in abundance and scarcity He molds and shapes us into His likeness. Just like radio transmitter and receiver system, we need to tune to the right frequency to get this: humility. Acknowledging the unspeakable goodness and mercy of God in hard times has been trait of his saints through ages. They are content with whatever the Lord sends. Sometimes it means the joy of being in the company of loving fellows. Yet sometimes it means being slandered and looked down by the world. Yet, they are blessings! They are sent by God to save and protect us from self-delusion and vanity. They are sent in such away so wisely, so timely, so beautifully that we might come closer to Him and be like Him. Every unjust and unexpected occurrence, encounters and befalling are used by God to sanctify us. Now, rejoice in the Lord always. How His goodness is beyond our understanding, beyond our subjective feeling about what has become of us, beyond what we like or we want. Glory to God for all things.    

Journey of Love (1) – The fuel

We are created to love. Whatever our condition might be. Since the first inhale of air into our body, maybe even before that, we are called to struggle and mingle with enigmatic and dynamic mystery which is called love. Even our very existence if it is sustained until today, the biggest reason of all is love. Greatest commandments  start with a command and blessing, “Love....”

What an inevitable reality! Clouds of witnesses surrounded us in multitude. How we measure the ‘distance’ of earth and heaven? By the presence of love within us, within our family, within our community and within our nation. Such a tireless and sometimes exhausting, crushing and so narrow and close to impossible journey! We have to come face to face with so many challenges and storms  just to hold on and stand fast in Love. Real love is that which has been tested through darkest nights, hottest dessert, hurdles and hardship. Anything that is not love shall be like chaff  and filth in front of fire.

God designs us and makes us capable of perceiving and responding to love. He gives us His blessing, and one among the greatest ones is... choice. Whether we choose to trust Him and thus responding to His love and move toward Him, or to choose anything else as we desire. This choice makes space for us to joyfully and willingly lay aside our own self to embrace His All Merciful love. Sadly, we failed from time to time.

Nothing can overcome His love, though. He calls every human being into the embrace of His love from ages to ages. That Love has never lost. Ages to ages has this one strong message to listen and to ponder:  Anytime mankind depends on their own discernment, perception and strength , they fall immediately and severely. In the other hand, when they humble themselves before God and joyfully follow their Maker, clinging to Him with all their hearts and minds and strengths, they soared like eagle, and transformed into the likeness of their Lover. Adam and Eve fell for this very reason. Great people of the past fell for this very reason.

Now around us we see too obviously that people are craving for love. The  single continuous battle between the seconds of our lifetime is to love or not to love. Despite the fact that people long for love so badly, they often find themselves in exact opposite direction of love. Out of fear, guilt and shame, people make themselves further and further away from the real love. Yet, in the end, the  quality of our life shall be measured by this:  our proximity to Love; that is our proximity and clinging upon—Christ.

Just as a person who will dispatch for journey needs supplies and all necessary stuff to reach destination, we ultimately need them as well. In the very begining of this journey, we need God’s help and His mercy above all else. No love can be manifested outside of His mercy. Yes, if you want, you might go with anything less than love, but if you want the real and pure one, God is the source of power to make it come true.

It starts with, “Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God, have mercy on me.” Let God pours out His mercy and love that it shall overflows through your being. 

In abundance or in scarcity: Obedience

Yearning and seeking for beauty, peace and security, human souls long for those sense they are created for. But this has been proven to be very though struggle and costly. However, when people put their trust and ‘anchor’ into vain and wrong root, it will be even more painful and miserable. We are created by God and therefore only in God shall we find rest and joy.

It is tested through time and experience, that whenever we are obedient, peace dwell within us in such warmth and power. Yes, once we take that step of faith, the frictions of uncertainty and unseen reality thrust the heart with difficult time. However, there is sense that joy and peace which is beyond understanding shrouded us. Then we can simply trust and trust and trust. Until the Lord’s time comes and the faith come into sight.

 In the riches of life, people goes through different season and times. There are times of laughter and abundance. But there are times, when even we need to survive day after another. Remember, no matter what, obedience to the Lord comes first. Much easier said than done. But it’s not that hard either. Once human knows that he is but dust brought into life, there’s nothing feel so unbearable, especially for the sake of love toward Master.

Lord, looketh Thou down from the heavens and remember Your humble servant. Let me not perish in my sin and earthly toil. Rather, pour out Thy grace that I may trod the land with peace, with hard work and obedience. So that even my flesh and my heart fade away, You are my portion forever and ever. Amen. 

Love and not fame

Somehow when we are still living in this world, it is inevitable for us for to communicate in two manifestations. The first one is that internal interaction we have with our own thoughts. The second one going on between us and external reality. Both of them are not hidden from the loving eyes and ears of God. Let us more concerned with what we might think and conduct ourselves toward others than the other way around. What other might think of us can fade away in matter of minutes or even seconds. That counts not the foremost. But what attitude and presumption that we have toward others will stay long with us and affect how we relate toward that person. Be it a loving and  encouraging one, or resenting and grudging one.

“ Woe to you when all men speak well of you...” is very strong and clear exhortation for us to be very careful of vanity and falsehood. In a way, this is very good reminder for us too that we could not control how people might presume about us. They will think and speak of us as they wish. But, even worse when they speak ‘well’ of us, yet for false reason and based on falsehood. Thus, staying genuine and truthful is very important. It’s easy to fall into making impressions toward people around us because praises and sweet words are very tempting and sweet. Yet, again, the focus should not fall in the praises, credit or feedback, but it is in the staying truthful and genuine. Even if people might not be impressed or praise us for what we do. Yet still that fake sweetness cannot and will not surpass the favour from on high.

So, again, rather than chasing cunning and slippery praises, much better is to nurture our-self with prayer and simplicity. Just like muscle needs some work out to stay strong and in shape, our faith hope and love needs nourishment and ‘exercises’ to function. By that I mean, do we soberly keeping watch over our thoughts? Especially those related to our assumptions and thoughts we have about others? Fill our heart first and fore-mostly with the sweet power of Lord’s  Name,  open the heart and fill our hearts with warmth and love toward all. Mother Gavrilia is so keen of this saying, “people are sent, and we are sent to them .” and “human hearts never stop being good.” What a very loving way of approaching life. What if we lay aside the harmful thoughts and embrace all with simplicity and love. Listening them with ears of love, looking at them with compassion and thinking o f anyone under spectacle of mercy?

Love. Love. Love. We are called to love. No love, no life. It’s the narrow road, through which the old self and what it might carry are crushed in pieces. It might seem more desirable to impress and get people’s praises, yet still, it will fade away even before the sun goes down. Yet, the more wholesome, true  and lasting one is to love: to think, say, and do toward all in agreement of the will of God. Being helpful is always more important and meaningful than being impressive. So, it’s love and not fame which we must nurture.  

Magnifying the wrong object

Yesterday was the first day of school for my students and me after the school activity was being suspended because of the smoke/ haze condition in my beloved city, Palembang. The haze is still pretty thick, but it has been tolerable enough for us to have some public activity like school, etc. I am so thankful that actually I can do something useful like teaching. Now, I could appreciate more of being needed somehow and to realize that as simple and humble things that I do God can use it to bless others.

This new week has been such great weak to start brand new enthusiasm and ‘ new restart’ of this term. However, I realize that it would be much better if I can stay in spirit and earnestness of handling everything with care and giving the best for this service. Like St. Paul said, “do as to the Lord.” However, one among so many challenges that has to be defeated is postponing. You know, when the streams of due dates and files to be checked, it would be much more convenient to find excuses so that we might do it later. Like ‘laaaater’. Yet, later we will find out that the workloads doesn’t disappear by its own will rather it got so many siblings. One thing that could be very helpful in this, is doing small good things immediately and say no to postponing. When I am thinking of this, one of reasons (at least based on my personal experience) which makes us want to postpone is the habit of magnifying challenges  or ‘problems’ as if it were gigantic and beyond our reach. What I mean is, we tend to see simple task to look like we have to jump from the cliff. Making Math poster rubrics feels like making 10 articles for famous magazines. Surprisingly, I found that it is actually a virtue to look at problems as small and powerless in the face of our great God.

That thoughts comes up when I read some part in the book of Numbers when Moses sent 12 spies to see how the promised land looked like. While 10 other spies saw their projection of fear and terrifying facts, Caleb and Joshua saw totally different reality. They saw it as they are. They moved by faith and feared not. Such beautiful souls! A soul that makes God and His love first before anything else. As the result, they didn’t fall into the snare of magnifying the wrong objects.

In our responsibility, ministry, works, or relationship do we magnify those challenges and forget that our God is far bigger? When due dates and adversity come at our desk, will we ‘flee’ from it instead of doing it with all our heart? Problems, conflict and sorrows come and go in our lives. But they are just the smaller part of the whole story. God’s story goes on and that is about Ultimate true love toward all. Let His glory shines through our endurance, perseverance, faith and our surrender to Him.

Now, then... When anything comes to us, let us trust the providence of Our Lord. Be willing, take chance to accept responsibility and obedience in various forms: both those which come to us voluntarily and involuntarily. With peace of mind and joy in the heart, let us face the day with whatever it might bring with diligence and love. Do that little good things that our heart tells us tirelessly and persistently. Sure, we cannot make it happen by yourself, we need grace; constant flow of mercy from above. 

In the desert

Blessed is The Lord of all
He who guides His beloved people
Out from darkness and misery
Into the promised land
With His strong and mighty arms
With His wisdom beyond human understanding

O, Lover of mankind
Who reveals Yourself through Your beloved servants through the ages
Your amazing love and mercy
Is on what we shall cling on

Just like Moses who loved You so dearly
Thus like friend to friend did you conversed
Revealing the wishes of hearts
In defining moments and rough times
Aaron who faithfully served you till his last day on Mount Hor near Edom

For brave and trusting hearts of Hosea, later called Joshua ben Nun, and Caleb ben Jephunneh,
You are faithful Lord;
For they trusted You and see Your love in everything
They feared not, they walked by faith, which produced virtues in them.
They stood against all odd in trusting You,
Even if they were stoned.
Such a faith! Such love! Such courage!

Thus Lord,
Grant us to trust You and live by faith beyond sight.
Loving You above all else
And greeting all with love
For Yours are all things
Thus taking heed of Your commandments
And ardently keep watch,
So that even in the most seemingly hard time,
When experiences gives us two choices:
To be thankful even over having to pass through Desert of Sin or
To be frustrated over the what seems so barren,

We might choose to be thankful just because You who dwells among us...

Blessed are You O Lord, unto the ages of ages.

Goodness overflows

How merciful is our God! He doesn’t withhold his kindness from those who wait for Him. Blessed be His name among the nations. When our soul feels down and weary because of the burdens of this world, let us lay aside all those burdens and come to Him. He is the source of our rejuvenation and renewal. Remembering His goodness and mercy brings back the strength of our youth.

Don’t be discouraged. As we are still in the world, we are struggling. Yet, God’s goodness cannot fail. He is with us and transforming us into His likeness. And this transformation calls out for our authentic participation. For we are created in His image, we are given strength to freely submit and to joyfully trust our being to Him who creates us. Thus, here is faith takes part.

Remember how Israelite cried out before the Lord for their suffering was great in Egypt. God in His mercy remembered them and called Moses to lead them out of Egypt. God gave his benevolent providence along the way. Israelite, seeing the signs were greatly rejoiced. However, as we noticed from the Holy scriptures, that they actually had the mental belief on what God could do, but they got a problem: they were willing to belief, but not to suffer for the Lord’s sake. Although the truth is believing and suffering belong  together as privilege (Php 1:29). In this case, I was always touched by such beautiful heart that Abraham had in willingly obeying God despite of what might be unto him. The same thing also happened to Joseph in his responses in waiting in hope of deliverance from God.

It is great that we witness and are touched by the wonders that God makes in our lives. He is indeed good all the time. Yet, remember, it is suffering which leads us to greater wisdom, purer faith and faith made into sight. It is through that narrow path that we trod into the kingdom of Heaven, following the footstep of Christ. Well, it might or might not means being physically persecuted or anything related to us like right in our face. It might be  something simple and tangible like trusting that God will keep us and true to His words when He says, ‘do not be anxious about what you need’. It might mean to stay and choose what He desires even though we might things to go in our own way, etc.

When I reflected on these two persons among many persons in the book of Genesis , people of God whom were so dear to His heart: Abraham and Joseph, I noticed that at least these things are apparent. They trusted God, like really trusted. Not only believing, but they also were willing to suffer, to wait in dark times which human eyes could not really see, to endure hardship and to surrender their lives to the guidance of the Lord. Inspite of their suffering though, surprisingly they were generous and mindful of others. It was their trust in the goodness of the Lord which made their heart filled with goodness. Thus, from a heart which has been touched by such humility, goodness overflows.

Are we willing to trust in God’s goodness, to suffer for the sake of our faith in Him, and to love others in whatever conditions that face us? Love is... when we remember others  and the urge of goodness, namely good thoughts, intentions and willingness arises in such a way and we act upon it. 

Stillness is power

I found myself so amused today, learning about Heron of Alexandria’s inventions. He was such a genius that he designed and made so many kits and equipments in antiquity. Some of his inventions including automatic door revolver, chanting bird machine, toy by using steam power, coin-water dispenser, and the most complicated of all, automatic puppet show, all using physical principles of water, air and fire. I am so much impressed and inspired by such insight of his legacy.

One of the things that I saw and heard from the video was a glimpse on the Great Library of Alexandria, however, intrigued me. The narrator told something about one part of the building which is called ‘Museum.’ But this museum has nothing to do with selections of ancient things in the glass cases; rather it refers to a place solely devoted for the appreciation of stillness and thinking. So, here people are freed from the occupation of temporal things of daily life and goes beyond that, thinking and pondering on knowledge. I imagine Heron loved to be in that room. And I guess that is one of vital aspects of how he could manage to nurture his ingeniosity and creativity.

Most of houses today have TV set, and or other conveniences which help people to avoid silence and awkward moment of having to do nothing. People find the entertainments ready at hand and there they go, time flies. Unfortunately, this might potentially a very latent danger of people losing the precious moment of being still. I read something quite impressive on the other day that human brains love to have something to work on. That is why, surprisingly enough, there is a great resemblance of an anxious person’ and genius mind’s brain activity. Those conveniences exactly feed this kind of need to keep brain being amused. However, it would be much more awesome if people rethink about how to feed this brain need! What about sparing sometime to be still and to be ‘creative’? We could use it fore mostly to pray, to learn and to feed our brain with quality input.

It can be easily ignored. Since people don’t like to get bored somehow: and don’t be surprised how people could get bored too easily in this multimedia age. Yet, I am convinced that stillness and silence is also basic human needs. It has such curative effects especially to restore sanity, to induce clear and novel thoughts and creativity.

Christians especially; how needful we are of time spared for prayers and study. The Orthodox Church throughout the ages has taught her children to love and to respect moments of silence, of prayers and meditations. It is in the stillness of heart that we encounter such wonder of God visiting us. To develop this eagerness and love of silence, habit of sparing time at least in the morning and evening is inevitable.

Reflect upon this, as the time goes by, we will be surrounded by way much more distractions than ever; that human can ever imagine. It is within our control, however to spare and to take some time off, to ‘close the door of our room and pray.’ Don’t we realize, it is when we constantly and persistently stay within stillness of mind and heart that greatness is born. To wider extend, we also could add some more ‘museum’ time like Heron of Alexandria had, to sharpen our poetic, creative and ingeniosity nature. Never say too late. It can be started today. ;)

Glory to God for all things.  

Such precious treasures

Imagine you were given a big deal of treasures. Let’s say out of nothing, somebody gives you great amount of money and other resources. How would you manage it? Well, it sounds pretty intriguing and you would say, “O, come on, I know this is just fantasy and hypothetical.” Now let us flip the coin, what if it is real? And it is.

Wait! What do you mean? Well, of course I don’t mean you will find yourself carrying a gigantic bag full of gold as Santa carrying toys from the North Pole. But do we realize that we have those treasures within us and we carry it anywhere we go? You got it. It is your life, in a much concrete sense, your time.

Life and or time is that ultimate precious treasure that has been bestowed to us. It’s precious that without it, our journey halts. The quality of our life and the sense of fullness of it is actually being formed and determined within it. We are now inside time. So, now how have we dealt with this superb precious treasure that we have?

Some people choose to live by pursuing entertainments and enjoyments of any kind. YOLO as their banner stands for You Only Live Once has been popular tag for trying any kind of life experiences that might brings excitements and leisure’s. They have target, achieving one after another, yet silently hide that sense of emptiness and darkness which is kind embarrassing to admit. Some others feel just fine. After all, they are not alone. People are also like them: relax, and don’t get too serious about things. They might find ‘safety’ and ‘comfort’ in being like others or living life like them. But when the questions of meaning and purpose brought up by their consciousness, they shut it down. They might find distractions such as internet amusing stuff, computer games, hang outs and meetups from one after another could suffice in elaborating their time.  

Still some others have builders mind. They wish to build their empires. Some call it popularity, some riches, and some influences. They use this precious time to work so hard. Day and night they are very effective and industrious despite having to sacrifice the relationships, and many major life moments. It is usually too late for them to realize that death comes at any second and what benefit is for them to acquire so much, while they lost their souls?

I am concerned though; that what I wrote as ‘them’ is actually myself. Are you concerned as well? What actually is the point of our master giving such great talents, such precious treasure to us? Are we good stewards of it, that is, what is given us become fruitful and multiply in eternity?

O, what a precious time! Time for repentance: that is time to orient and turn back toward beauty. Have we turned our direction in time toward that pursue? Or are we pursuing winds in the air?

This thought comes across to me as I am finding myself in much spare time. Being ‘free ‘of the schedule makes me tempted to use my time unwisely. Yet, since human innate nature is order and pattern of good works, I find that we are given capacity to plan, arrange and make our ‘customized’ schedule.

Anything will pass away. Greatness, riches and influence will have their own time. So, do you know what will last and should fill each point and moment in our time? Love. Make sure that any plan, arrangements, meetups, leisure time, all are our tireless pursue and our celebration of God’s will: to love Him and to love all.

Joy of simplicity

"Blessed are the poor in heart, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”
How beautiful is a heart that is simple yet content. Or vice versa, miserable is a heart that has been impregnated by lofty desires but never find contentment. A simple and content heart is like a strong plant which grows in the hill of a fertile mountain. Fresh dew flows with the stream from above glistens under gentle bright sunlight. Its leaves would not wither away; it always bear fruits in season.

That heart sounds like, ‘Let it all befall upon me as God pleases. Since this happens, it must be for the good of all, as God deigns.’ Neither sophistication nor grudges are heard from its core. It has only faith and trust. It knows that God is ever good and nothing is lacking from his goodness. How beautiful and lively is such soul! The poor in heart, who wants nothing else but God’s will to be accomplished. For this very reason, they ‘go and sell their treasures’ and follow Him with all their being.

Easier it is said than done, except those who are willing to follow the examples of the saints of God. Remember how the holy princes and princesses from the ages of old abandon their palaces to embrace the simplicity of life in following their beloved Christ. Such a wonderful heart: a heart that knows that Christ is the ultimate aim and purpose of our existence.

Live simply. Talk simply. Walk simply. Dress simply. There is no urge to be noticed or to be looked upon by anyone. We can slow down and humble ourselves. How God loves the humble.
When our heart grows simpler and poorer, we find that we are being content more frequently with our parts, our share and our roles. From being content, we thus are so grateful even over drops of water, fresh air and all things. From being so grateful and full of joy, love flows from the heart much more easily and freely. Thus no wonder, for the poor in heart, their share is the kingdom of heaven.  For them, what God wants here and now-- even though they are in a poor and in barely enough condition, is of ultimate importance. They thirst not the riches and honors from this earth, but they are hungry and thirsty of the Truth.

Whether it rains, whether it pours, in sickness, in prison, in the street, with hungry stomach, whatever... Nothing can shake them from the thirst and hunger of the Living water and Living bread of life. What a joy of simplicity. If you are given choices, choose to live and to be simple.

Even in small things

One way or another, at times I found out that life feels so mundane. Waking up, prayers, making breakfast, working (in my case, catching up with work as I am having days off now), go home, house keeping and finally taking some rest and so on. There is a temptation to think that because nothing special going on, then it is somehow a ‘not-so-important’ day.

Some people might complain how boring their days have become. No passion, just sweet and ‘regular’ repetition of things. May be you work as a teacher, or a cashier, or behind your desk with matriculation and projects, you find yourself just doing it. Yeah. Life has settled down now, and I am kind floating on it, just do what I need to do so as not to sinking. Really? Is there any meaning we can find in even so plain and so-so days? Or should we find that ‘kairos’ moment and each time moved toward perfection?

First let us think of how passionate God is when taking care of us. I mean everything He arranged for the goodness of all. Everything is in order and safety. Thank God for that. And shall we ask ourselves, how our hearts could grow cold when beauty and glory is embedded in everything. Just be there, correct. But be there with all of your heart. Tend your obedience without self-love but with ardent spirit in knowing that our holiness is being worked out in small things. It’s not all about our feelings, even though feeling is one of the parts, it is beyond our feeling. We never know that actually we entertain angels that day, when we smile and greeting people with light heart. We can become like Christ for anyone who are sent to us, again while we might not realize it.

Big or small, let us accept our obedience with the sense of God is so very interested about us. He is not called ‘The Lover of Mankind’ for no reason. He really loves us. How could we not be moved with such wonderful news? We might not ‘acrobatic’ enough to get excited all the time about things. Sometimes, we just feel OK or ‘just fine’. But remember, the workshop of our holiness moves beyond our feeling.

These little and mundane things constitute our path to holiness. Let us take the chance to grab any moment to raise our thoughts to God and to exalt Him. Even in waking up from sleep, in preparing meals, in greeting and interacting with people, in all things let us do them to glorify God. Don’t we realize, however small our part might be, we have special and unique role to make the world a better place, to be compelling invitations, to be the scent of the Kingdom of God among the people who lives around us? Think about it today. 

The sweetest thing of all

To remember You, O Lord, is the sweetest thing of all.

Because You are good and Your mercy endures forever

Let my soul repeat it with all gladness and joy

Immensely touched by Your awesome greatness

Now my heart sings praises to Your Holy Name

You have made me out of the dust

And crown me with life and power

I am designed for Your joy and pleasure

That I might find joy and pleasure in You, Lord

Behold now, I am eating swine’s crumbs

In your houses You have treated me with such love

Nothing is lacking from Your goodness

But now, I am in a strange land

Toiling with sweats in my brow

Weary and weeping in the scorching heat

But, remembering You my soul runs like a bride toward the groom

You have loved, have been loving us with greatest love

Purest of all

So, to remember You and Your loving-kindness is the sweetest of all

How even sweeter is to be remembered by You O Lord,

You have blessed even the roughest rock to bring forth fresh water...

The dead and stiff stick

To blossom the flowers; so beautiful and fragrant

And You showered the dessert with bountiful manna

Your love, Lord

Let me not forget.

And make my heart to return whole-heartedly

To You

And once again enjoy that sweetest feast

And the company of the greatest mystery

When heavens meets earth

That voice which precedes the light

So, it’s been the third day off from the school because of the smoke situation in my beloved city, Palembang. The smoke which is the side result of the forest fire cover our sky. This condition can be harmful for the people especially young kids and babies.

That was just a little bit of the update on the weather. Well, as you know it changes over time. The only reason I am writing it down now is to hope for better. Besides, when it is all over, we can remember the struggle and appreciate more of the gifts and providence from God which so often we take for granted. So far, my days are going so well because of God’s mercy.

I come across the thoughts of being exhausted and how could we handle that. We notice that there are at least (that is in my simple mind) two types of fatigue. There are those which are caused by physical toil and the other ones caused by mental load such as worries and anxieties. Honestly for me, the physical exhaustion affects my psychological state too. I can be touchy and cranky when I feel tired and down physically. However, when I compare it with mental exhaustion, it has further and more complex impact on how we conduct ourselves in relation to others.

With that in mind, let us sympathesize with Christ’s first disciples when they were first called. They had been all night fishing without result. Yet, Christ with such grace and confidence in his sounds asked them to throw their net to the right. To our surprise though (even though with perplexed mind, they could be), they listened and did it anyway. Thus the miracle happened which not only changed their minds but also changed the course of world’s history from then on. Now, let us focus on how interesting was the response of these tired people. In any condition, we are free to respond: to ignore, to refuse (or at least to rationalize) or to obey (even if we don’t understand).

For us who has been taught to think critically and with sophistication, the last option would be unfavorable. We need to ask and criticize the idea before actually trust it. Yet, there is something so fascinating of this story, especially what made them so immediately and so willingly obeyed the command of the Son of Man. Tired and exhausted people gave amazing response to God. Can we? Yes, with God everything is possible.

Being  one whole day toiling and doing our responsibility, not to say all those pebbles and discomforts we need to bear, problems and small conflicts demands us from time to time to act wisely. “Give me a break...” you might say to yourself. But, remember those tired fishermen gave such beautiful response to God. Why? Because they simply listened and did what Master told.

Isn’t it something worth to look and ponder upon? Very especially at night when our body and mental got tired, shall we speak gently to God: Lord, please Thou speaketh, let your servant listen and do it with gladness. Such simplicity of the heart fosters humility and love, which can lead to greater and more ardent desire in our longing toward the kingdom of God.

result of forest fire comes so unpredictably this week. Too often we’re glad in the morning for such bright and somewhat fresh air, yet when it starts getting noon or afternoon it becomes intensely smoky up to the night. 

This gift of befriending people

One of my pleasures when travelling to new place is to meet new friends out of total strangers. This is especially true when I visited my family in the USA. Such sweet and long lasting memories! The new setting and context provide me with sweet challenge to be outside of my shy self. Well, getting to know people is not that hard compared to how to maintain a meaningful and deep relationship beyond the surface. To stay in contact with significant others can be not very easy, even with one’s family member. It is not rare to find out and to listen to the stories of how young people feel disconnected with the family, old friends and any others. This fact alone makes me think of what kind of efforts can be done to maintain deep, encouraging and loving relationship to others?

First of all when I am pondering upon this matter is that we don’t live in static state. What I mean is, lots of change will occur in the course of time. People move from place to place and their circumstances will not stay from time to time. Needless to say, the struggle of physiological development and adjustments add to the sophistication of human relationship. Beyond all this, at least in my case, I am wishing for meaningful and lasting friendship with these new people that God puts into my life.

The next thought is that of my own limitation and weaknesses. I can feel somehow there is a curve of my enthusiasm toward the people I know. May be this is what people mean by the curse of familiarity. We try to be connected somehow but as the nature of relationship becomes too predictable, it grows weary. This is also faced with another layer of challenges of those barriers of place, time and many technical challenges present in many aspects.

Yet, thanks to Mother Gavrilia for some encouraging sayings of her that I always remember. ‘People are sent.’ ‘Human hearts never stop being good’ and ‘keep praying for God and love is its fruit (my paraphrase)’. That’s exactly it. No human ties or bounds are so important that it may exceed that of God’s. Everything will happen just naturally. Some ties will get loose, the others will get stronger. Let God use it for His purpose and glory. What always matter is that we commend each other to Christ the Lord, who knows each person’s heart. Focusing at the people that He sends here and now and ministering them with love seem to be all that is for us. So, when I am thinking of this, I infer that the state of loving and clinging to God becomes the umbrella of any relationship. People come and go away, yet let our love toward them, toward all,  remains; as God’s love remains with us. 

Keep moving

This passing month, I have been greatly helped by my mentee. This post is a special thanks for her who have been a great partner and inspiration for much better teaching career. Praise God, each year since my first year of teaching, I have been trusted the students from my alma mater to have their teaching practicum in my class. Honestly, these experiences of working together, helping and being helped, observing and discussing our teaching practice have enriched me personally. I got so many insights when observing and helping them ready with the lessons. Again, I cannot find sufficient words to express my gratitude for this program.

One among so many enriching experiences that my mentee and I have together is to share about how God works through us in the field of education. We come to believe that it is not our qualities and endeavors who made us worthy to be teachers. It is grace who make us brave enough to take up this calling  and go through such dynamics of teaching hearts and training minds. As human being, we sometimes feel that being teacher is so demanding and impossible. In front of us are such beautiful souls who have scars and burdens. Only the Lord who can touch them and heal them, We are but his servants who do his will, so that He can work out His great plan for his beloved children.

It is through simple sharing and reflections together shortly after teaching, we becomes refreshed and encouraged to move on. And the most beautiful of all is to witness how good the Lord is in providing specific grace to do what is impossible. We are walking with God in the classroom. We build and scaffold each other. In the moment when we are down, we remind each other that what we need to do is to 'listen and do whatever He tells us'.

Truly, it is so moving when the children start to show sobriety to consciously choose the right way, to deliberately decide walking according to what we have been telling them so. There are times when the students 'accidentally' quoted what we have been saying in the midst of difficult decision that they have to make.

Just this morning I heard the news that all students teacher who are doing their teaching block in Palembang are going to be evacuated to Jakarta due to the smoke disaster in this city. This is very sudden and I feel sympathy for them because they need to finish their final project for the thesis at this school but  they need to leave earlier. But  I am glad with the fact that they would find safer haven for learning and doing their educational research. I keep praying for them, for my mentee especially please keep learning and being even more sensitive toward what God desires for you, your future. Be blessing and light in the new place. Thanks, Miss Heny!

Enjoying life

People works so hard sometimes. They have hobbies and other things which make them relaxed and humane as well. Some of them are simple and seem very lay back while some others take anything personally and intensely. There are many approaches toward the sense of fullness of life. For me this is a mystery of human soul which point to the fact that we are created in God's image. Full of energy, creativity and potential, we seek beauty and meaning.

However, too often, the case is that people keeps dreaming of enjoying life. We are trying so hard to pursue that dream with the hope and wish that we could somehow enjoy it later.  Instead of staying in the presence and working out the life, the only life that we have, that is, we keep wishing and 'working for it." Meanwhile, it can be too late to realize that the time is up. What we think as 'good time' in the 'later' becomes moments of nightmare and emptiness. By saying this I do not despise process and hard-works, rather I am pondering on the state of 'wanting' rather than living which cause deep disappointments. Is there any other way to look at this? Let's reflect with me.

 Out of the honest feeling that there's some kind of imperfectness or something wrong in us, we want to get it fixed. We work hard to make it complete or satisfied. We 'want' to enjoy life so bad that we actually don't enjoy it. This doesn't stop here. In our era, internet and mass media bombards us with unrealistic image of how 'good life' should be. Perfect bodies, big houses, sporty cars, popularity --just name it, seems so tempting with their happy and cheerful images. For a few moment we forget that they are just that: ideal image, a made up one. Yet, many people go for it as if it's the only real thing they have to die for. But, is it?

So, what now? Is it wrong to enjoy good life, and to live at ease? No. Certainly not. In fact we are created for that. We are called and blessed to enjoy Life. Notice that I just wrote with capital L. What does it mean? It means that we are really called to enjoy Life. Not philosophically or imaginary. Nor is it idea or idealism of what good life looks like. We can enjoy it here and now. That Life refers to inexhaustible Source of joy and peace independent from external circumstances. Whether we are poor or rich, humble or noble, introvert or extrovert, we are called with the same enthusiasm and ardent spirit. Because that Life is neither idea or imagination but Person. And you know it.

Should we be reminded that we could never truly enjoy life (lower l, our day to day journey) apart from Life. Yes, we are surrounded by misery and sorrow. We are toiling and fighting each day with struggles and passions. But, let's ponder and ask: even in the midst of these things, do we enjoy His goodness? Or, Is for us His goodness and providence stops when we feel sad and down? No. His joy is amazing joy which the world, which those images offer us, cannot give. That's why in anything, literally in all things, St. Paul asks us to rejoice! Not because or material or worldly comfort that bathe us, rather because of His good hands who would never leave us no matter what.

Let us enjoy Life. It makes us real and beautiful. Have you ever wondered why over centuries, men and women of God leave their homes to find solitude and stillness to be with God for the sake of love toward all? They enjoy Life before all else. They have been such great witnesses over thousand years, that beauty and enjoying Life goes together. Are they immune of sorrows, sadness and struggles, then? Or are we Christians immune? Nope. But once you re-dispose yourself toward the Source of joy, you even have new beautiful perspectives on what you need to bear to be transformed, thus no joy is essentially removed.

Enjoying life is a blessing. And actually it is to be done here and now. Cling on that joy and let it guide you toward the pursue of sanctity and truth.

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner.

Bear it with patience

If I were asked what profound lesson did I learn today, I would answer with smile: patience. Start with the very early of the day, I had an appointment with someone who had agreed to meet at 7 am and the person turned out to come up at 8. Well, I understand it is because of inevitable reasons so I made it through.



Right in the first break, the school has suddenly announced that start from tomorrow, we need to stop teaching and learning process for awhile due to the haze and smoke from the forest fire. The day has been pretty much hectic. But God grants his kindness and grace so that we could manage it.

So, there it goes, whatever befall upon me, I just whisper to myself: "God is good and nothing is lacking in His goodness." I don't know yet what I am going to do in these vacant day in this very smoky city. But since God wants me to be here. I will stay here until the right time to move. I hope the school can start soon though, so that my students can learn again and resume their study. For now, I wish everyone safe and sound.

And now it is 1:09 a.m. now and I am locked and stuck outside of my rent house. My roommate is sleeping hard inside and didn't realize my knocking and calling from the other side of the door. I know that I will not make it to be inside, so I walked to school and wish to find some room to sleep for the night. Praise God! He is good. Now I am in my class writing this journal. I could not be happier! Finally I can sit, ponder and take a rest. His hands are very gentle and good indeed.

Somehow I understand that I can never learn patience. It is granted. All good things come from above; the Father of all light. Wait silently, wait with willing heart. Wait silently. He is good and nothing is lacking in His goodness. Meanwhile, I simply keep praying for Palembang, this beloved city, so that the smoke and all bad things come with it can be transformed into something beautiful and tell His glory.

Yes, and may God grant us strength to accept and bear with patience anything that He allows to happen in our life. Behold, I am Your servant, be it according to Thy words. Amen.

Precious silence

We live in the world of words. People talk and think in words. When we walk or read the signs, browse the internet and many other activities; they would be done at least with some words too. Without being too wordy, I would like to summarize that we live with the fact that we need to communicate, mostly with words both spoken, symbolized or written. But great care should be taken if we don't want that words have impact that we don't intend to.

At least that is what I have been dealing with these past few days. I always love to hear sharing from my students, or their wonders about how the world works. However at least two of them used that opportunity a bit too much. They forgot about care also means to listen and to give others chance to be heard. Too much is always not impressive. This habit of sharing experiences, jokes and fun can no longer be fun without wise consideration of time and place.

After talking to them personally about this problem, these two beloved students and I made agreement. This is more into discipline that they need to carry out. It is in the form of challenge for them: they need to practice one skill that they would have never thought before! They just need to be silent for one day. They are required to use no words or as minimal as possible. In any case of urgency, they need to 'talk' by using sign language.

The purpose of this exercise besides to practice their self-control, is also to make them reflect how precious is the chance to talk-- and to listen! People can take for granted the ability to speak and to tell words anytime they want. But when we are aware that there is restriction, we tend to realize that we need to think before one word can be spoken.

Yeah. You can guess. That was not too easy at first, but after some deals of consequences, they made it today! How beautiful and how natural they are. When they have enjoyed and even savored silence, they preferred it over distractions. Even I myself was so amazed with such sudden change in their behavior and attitude and capability to accept and process instructions! That's real magic.

What a learning for me especially. How in this life  we need to appreciate precious silence. After being so encouraged by how silence can clarify and direct attention of my students, I challenge myself as well to practice it for spiritual benefit. We need to be still to know that He is God over all. A still mind a strong one, because it can focus and be very persistent in good things. What about gently remind ourselves to stay still and remember God from time to time, so that we can be moved by His love and lovely visit. Thus our heart becomes a sharp and mindful one, to be a good soil for love to grow.
Let us be silent and pray more; for prayers are the roots of beauty and love. 

Strength unknown

While thinking about roles, I suddenly comes to the thoughts of the uniqueness of each person. I mean, even people with the same occupation respond differently to some circumstances. For example, my friend and I are responding pretty differently toward the same student's  behavior in the same class. What a beauty! I love to ponder how God works through different personalities and uniqueness. And in term of roles, I am captivated how God's grace is sufficient for us whatever our responsibilities and challenges might be

.

It is easy to be tempted to be discontent of our situation. We might wish to live a better and happier life, getting rid off those itchiness and lame reality that we silently hide. Especially these days when people gets much easier access to the 'better you' workshop and market. We want to 'succeed', 'free', 'look better', just mention it. We might also painfully fight our own ugly self, which we consciously start to get exhausted out of. But somehow when I reflect on this, if we interview anyone comes to us, there must be something that they are discontent about. Well, no wonder, brothers and sisters. Since our expulsion from Eden, we don't live in the perfect world. We are in the exile. Our true abide is in the Lord as prophet David often put it beautifully in his Psalms. 

What we don't realize in this case, however is the fact that God is persistent in His goodness toward us. We become too much focus on the misery or those little imperfections we have to bear. 'Worldly cares' as pious people put it, overtake us and we miss the most important point of clinging to Christ in trust and faith. Somehow, we pursue those good things earnestly and to improve ourselves to be much better person. That is great actually. But we need to ask why and for what do we do all those things? Is it out of our fear and shame, our longing to be accepted and looked upon by others? Beware of anything driven by shame and fear, because those two roots bears bitter fruits. To be honest, so many times, I fell  into this very pit. I wish a taller and brighter body, smarter and cooler me, etc. But then I remind myself: when God creates you, He remembers.

As He is persistent in His goodness, He works in and through us. So many times, he doesn't work despite our weakness, rather through our weaknesses. The good news is, we don't have to be someone else. God wants us to be us: Yes, with all possible weaknesses and cracks that is in us. Do you remember the image of mud in the hand of the potter? Our job is just to cling on him and not to be too self-conscious. We simply obey and be grateful, and trusting our life in His persistent goodness. Now, can you feel which force drive you into repentance and renewal of a better you? Our old self demands the renewal of outer circumstances; bigger house, more money and glory for ourselves... The root for that is shame, fear and insecurity. But our new self accepts what God has been working through: whether it's poverty, discomfort, trials, or anything in such humble way that what concerns us is our love toward Christ grows day by day. It is the result of our longing toward our Truest Lover and Home, Christ, for whom we are created. That is a life of repentance. A life dedicated and directed in the seeking of kingdom of God. 

May our heart be warmed by His amazing love and responding to His calling. After reading this, all those little annoyances might still be with you. Yet, what can overcomes the joy and peace in acknowledging, even God's glory is revealed through them just like in the story of the blind healed by the Lord. Be it our awkwardness, specific weaknesses that you don't want anyone to know. But God knows and God allows it for us to face. He gives us His grace, a strength unknown to keep moving and and to bear our cross. And through that very narrow road, we find ourselves in the footstep of Greatest King of all. Be thankful. Cry for mercy from above. Rejoice in Him. Remember, He is persistent in His goodness now and until you change into His likeness, as you cling on Him.    

  

It takes courage

This week, I encountered one person with such moving story. Mujito, a Javanese from Lampung happened to tell about his determination of having to take his beloved wife to the hospital in the town from small village. That was going on for about 13 months under such pressures of all those around him, all tlling him to simply give up. But somehow, he recalled for me, "I was so determined, there is such faith inside me that my wife would be well."

I simply sighed in admiration for his brilliant character. He lives in a very remote area in Lampung, with a piece of land to till and some flocks to tend to. One unexpected occasion, his wife was paralyzed and got some kind of strange sickness. By using his scooter motorbike, he faithfully sought for the cure of his wife's illness. Needless to say, it took about 2 hours ride one way to the hospital in such bumpy roads. Once a while, he found out his wife already passed out behind him and he needed to stop to let his wife took the journey for herself.

Please remember, that was going on for 13 months in and out of hospital. All his family member who at first showed their support gave in at certain point. While his wife's family seeing all the expenses he needed to carry out, consider that he simply didn't have to 'waste' his resources. With all this spinning around his side, yet he decided to keep going!! And see, his wife is pretty healthy and strong by the time he told this story to me.

And that is love! Love is so persistent. It is gentle but so stubborn. Mujito loves his wife and that's why he didn't just give up in the first obstacle. He keeps going on no matter what. Until he sees something good happen to his wife. That his wife is cured, well and sound. Realizing that this is a real story told by real person shatters my soul. If a man can do such thing, then how our God is! He keeps loving us, curing and restoring us no matter what.

In the other side of coin, it speaks to me so clearly: be persistent in faith, be persistent in hope and ultimately, be persistent in love.  How many times cultures and all those around us fail us and brings us down? Remember this story, which is an icon of story of Christ. How many times people whom you love so dearly failed and betrayed your feeling somehow: remember this story. How many times you feel unintentional disgust of some persons or group, no matter how hard you try to suppress that thing? Love is persistent. Sometimes it is like 'blind, deaf, mute, foolish' to the world. But that what it is: loving and loving and loving.

How can we explain or elaborate this? It is mystery. It is God-driven. It is a gift of grace. The very desire to keep standing in love is grace. And his grace made perfect in our weaknesses, failures and awkwardness's. But lest we forget that we are here for that: to be the image --and here we are, image of God. What does that means? Before all else, to love all being just as God is love. Why then it's so hard? Because we are supposed to rely on His power and not on our own. Doesn't he say 'with God all things is possible' and 'Abide in me', 'Come to me'?

It takes courage to have faith to such invitation and to leave the world behind. It takes courage to leave behind our doubts and fears and to embrace faith in moving through hardship. It takes courage to be persistent and be stubborn in trusting God's love is sovereign over all. And you know, behind that courage is grace, sufficient to cover all possible weaknesses and failures we could ever tell. So, go in faith and look at every person sent to us with the eye of love.

Be attentive

Moments can be collected abundantly only if we are attentive. Those lovely moments that we have can be just passing away unappreciated whenever we don’t keep watch. It is especially pretty difficult for us to be ‘attentive’ during hard times. That’s because we tend to focus on the difficult sides of our lives and becomes clouded thus to see the bigger picture. We could miss or overlook such saving occasions provided by the Merciful One when we fail to be attentive. And honestly, it’s not so easy to be attentive these days with so many distractions and cares that swarm us. We need to slow down our lives. We need to deliberately retreat ourselves to the solitary place and pray.

Couple days ago my friends and I had a very heart-warming conversation about what is your most influencing thought which you have. That was very beautiful as we exchange ideas and thoughts. And I couldn’t help but to share what I read from Mother Gavrilia on everything is sent by God, thus keep saying Yes to God. As we are being attentive toward each other, I feel that we are so overjoyed with the reflection on the love of God and how He is everywhere present.

Really, it is essential for us to be mindful and attentive in any encounter which we have.  The powerful and sanctifying prayer “Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God have mercy on me” help us to remain focus and attentive to God.

Even smallest change that we made in our endeavour to really care and to pause ourselves to stop thinking only what matters for us, but to cling our thoughts to God and to the need of others will bring forth such difference in our approach to love. 

Get involved

As Orthodox Christian, embracing such ancient and rich faith, I live among friends and beloved companions who are hardly ever in touch with it. Trying to be as moderate as possible, as not to 'do prayers before man' alias too catchy, sometimes it makes me pray in my heart, "Lord, may I be a good witness for Your Beauty." You know as an Orthodox, we make our faith so tangible: icons, prayer books, prayer ropes, fasting and all those wonderful means provided by Holy Church to really engage our faith in practical and direct way. But of course, giving them too much will make them feel awkward. However,  if they know us personally and we get involved with them as a real person (that is our honest thoughts and struggles as they know it), that will be  slightly different case.

In living the spiritual life, in the willingness to working out the prayer routines and all spiritual exercises, my mind comes across a reflection centered on love; and how it relates to what can look like 'ritualistic' piety.

First and foremost foundation and the pinnacle of our action should be love. These exercises which are inevitably seen by friends and may be people around us are certainly not a show. It simply is our humble expressions to acknowledge Christ and that we are belong to Him: the sign of the cross in public, wearing scarf for women, or wearing crucifix and such are the examples of this. Bearing this in mind, we know and even constantly reminded that we 'bear' that cross --not for nothing-- but to love, just like Christ does. Those holy objects and signs pierce our souls with a blessing and command to love, and not to become showy. Here is the difference: the desire to be showy makes people uneasy and judged -- while the desire to love and to bear witness makes them sense that Christ is in us and with us. But never mind about what other think of us, because everything is in God's providence, and let us simply trust in Him who put a veil before us in his mercy before others, so that we can be what He desires in relation to others. An this thought really assures and encourage me to be constantly wise to put on those beautiful signs as I live in Indonesia, Sumatera to be exact, where Christians are just very small minority.

Another implication of our spiritual exercises as 'not a show-off' is that we are willing to act beyond that. In one Orthodox movie that reminds me about this, there are two faithful being described. One is a faithful boy who lives with his depressed and alcoholic father but has such sincere faith and treats just anyone with love. The other one, a lady being very ardent in the ritualistic piety, failed to show the very love being trained in those practices of prayers. She became kind of rude and judgmental.

It's beautiful though that this film shows that God loves both of these faithful. He rebuked her in a vision, showing her how she failed to love God through others. While at the same time, without realizing it, the boy has done commandments of Christ of loving and mercy.

Yes, we feed our souls on prayers and spiritual exercises, but let this not be the end of itself. Just like my beloved Dad always tell me beautifully, "Keep say Yes to the Lord...." means that He sends us along the way of our lives people whom God wants us to love, no matter who they are. Be kind and loving in every way possible. By then, they know for sure that we are not being pharisaic and our faith is genuine, to the glory of the Father.

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on us!    
 

Open up to Beauty

As hard as life can be, in the deepest thing, The Ultimate of Beauty of Creator shines forth. Yes, even when we cannot cover our eyes and ears to the news of suffering and death --the result of sin, but still that doesn't stop beauty to manifest beyond understanding. Whetever might happen, we do believe that God's will governs all and He is the greatest inspiration of beauty.

Knowing that He is in the centre of reality transforms and fortifies our minds. We trust that it is His love and amazing providence will sustain us so beautifully in the midst of struggle and fierce battle toward that Beauty. It gives us assurance that in the hands of the Lord, everything is transformed into his likeness.

I keep repeating this favorite short paraphrased quote to 'abandon Yourself to God'... by Mother Gavrilia which I love so much. Because how true and beautiful it is. But I need to be honest here, that I am so far from this kind of trust that she has. I really want to, but due to my own weaknesses, sometimes I doubted and hold myself back in some circumstances.

Thinking of this, I realize that the struggle of denying oneself makes so much sense. How I need to just open up myself, that is my whole self to accept God's lead to anywhere He deigns. The deeper I think, it has much beauty in it. He actually trains us, trains us to be more open, to be more receptive of Beauty through anything that comes our way. Trampling down the comfort zone (that is our own version of comfort and little kingdom of favouritism), He transforms it into the real and everlasting one. It is just like a beautiful seed which will stay that way, insignificant and unchanged when stored in storeroom. It needs to be 'burried and destroyed' and then it will come forth, grow and bear fruits.

So, let us upen up. Keep saying yes to the Lord as he trains us to be more perceptive of His Beauty. :)

Such sweetness

I am overjoyed when I think of goodness of the Lord. Hearing and witnessing such profound mercy and love of Him who created us, I am dumbfounded and lost my words. Indeed, taste and see how good The Lord is. He who is so faithful and full of love has come down and lived among us, just to be with us and becomes our friend and guide in this misserable world.

His beauty and overflowing humility have transformed everything into joy and victory. In His unutterable kindness he has transformed hardship into path of sanctification. He has made toil and tears, a precious staff of wonder. He has turned plain and tasteless water of routines into passionate move to the divine. Indeed, in Him everything has been transformed into Life.

Just fix your eyes to His amazing countenance and say yes in each step. He works in us both to will and to do His good will. By then, we know that it is in God we trust, and not in our own 'virtues', since honestly when I look into myself, nothing good have I done. And none of any goodness I could boast of. Everything good and perfect comes from Him. It is Him who works in us and through us to reveal His wonderful love toward mankind. And in this I rejoice even more, because His mercy encompass us and make us more and more like Him. Never give in, but keep trusting on Him no matter happened to us. His love and His love alone will be revealed at last.

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner.

Seeking only to love

It is beautiful to have a day to just be silent and learn. How healing and restoring that is to keep our mouth and mind still, while we learn inwardly. Doesn't it sound pretty wordy? Well, unbelievably that what I went through today. Our school is having some kind of seminar or professional development these two days. The first day today was pretty amazing as we tried to ponder on how Holy Scripture is God's story -- and not only merely a story but a love story. I cherish every moment of reflection and discussion on this. I simply exclaim in my heart: How lovely it is to hear and to contemplate on the story of Ever Loving Lord as being told in each and every page of the Bible!

Once again I am reminded that even in the very common and familiar story of Moses, David vs Goliath, Esther and many more in the Scripture, we must not forget that they all tells about The Lord: how he loves us so much, how he is faithful, how he is mighty and merciful! The Lord is above all historical events and He keeps seeking only to love. Yes, His ways though, seems not very clear for our limited mind. How He works doesn't really look like how we work. But one thing is sure: when we listen to the reading of Scripture or we take it up and read it by ourselves, we know that all the Scriptures talks about Him and His glory manifests in various settings and circumstances.

Reflecting on this, I am so excited to read and search the Scriptures with this approach: Christ is in the center of all. Even when we read difficult passage of the Scriptures, we know that Christ is the main character of these beautiful revelation. When we turn the pages of the Holy Scriptures, we will get amazed how God really cares about us and how He keeps seeking only to love us and bring us back to what we originally meant to become: like Him.

Yes, the words of the Lord in the Scriptures are not merely sweet talk. More than that, they transform and purify us. They are the light unto our feet and a lamp unto our path. Just as in its big story is God who keeps seeking to love, it will soften our hearts in such a way in faith, hope and love so that in the end we will be energized to seek only to love... until the end of our love. Take it up and read!

Glory to You, O Lord!

A sweet thought at Sunday late night

Usually, realizing that tomorrow Monday is an uneasy thought. There in the window of tomorrow all responsibility and toil await me with such urge and sometimes can get 'merciless'. People do not care so much about how you feel and how you are, they simply want to see you perform the best task. Well, at least that could happen with the service-oriented job. But tonight, I feel rather different. And that comes out pretty sweet.

As you may notice, Mother Gavrilia Papayanis inspires me alot with her attitude of absolute trust and faith in Christ. She is just so very sweet daugther of God. By reading her words and expression of love, people could not help but being amazed and edified at the same time. Now, what is that to do with Sunday night reflection?

When I remember Mother Gavrilia with her lovely disposition as I got ready at my prayer corner, silently sweetness flows through my being. It's like my soul summons me, 'How peaceful it is for me to be in the presence of my Lord." With such sweetness and peace I began to be silent and serene. Truly, Lord, let me remember how Thou art everywhere present. Thus, by His grace actually we are constantly in the presence of This Lover of Mankind. How sweet.

Even though tomorrow is Monday, I feel so much refreshed and encouraged. Have you ever felt how much 'recharged' and lively you are when somebody whom you love stay near you? Now this time Christ who loves you so much be ever present with us. The Holy Spirit dwells in us too. What a joy! What a sweetness. Thus, it supposed to be, that by His presence in us, our presence among others also radiate warmth, peace, love and joy. Simply totally be here in the presence, where God is and keep focusing on Him: following Him and saying yes to whatever He asks as to do and to be. Be it throwing the net to the right after such hopeless night without result. For one reason: He loves us so much. Glory to You, O Lord...