Grateful...

Just two weeks before the semester break, such an exciting moments: to finish the works to be able to enjoy a little bit time outside routines. I am really happy when looking back passing such toiling time but only Lord's faithfulness stands fast and in Him everything is joyful.

It is so humbling for me to see again in every moment of my days how the Lord reveals His great Love so deliberately and 'as much as we could bear'. While confessing my narrow and clouded mind, how easy I got upset when things did not go as I wish, I bear in mind that He is ever Loving God. I cannot help but thanking Him for every moment He permits to come to my life. For the angels of peace, fellow travellers, guides, rebukes and every signs He puts along the way....

Today as I open again the book of Mother Gavrilia, I am paused in awe with such genuine beauty and truth!

"...It is something like a gift from God... This is how I understand it. Do you know why? Because I never linger on any problem, not even my own... When the person leaves, I have no thought. I rejoice with flower; I look at the sky; or something like that. And it is again, God and I on earth... Do you understand? When God created us, He said: 《Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul and with all thy mind" (that is, with all the strength of your being) 《and thy neighbour as thyself》..."

How I need to hear this. Thank you Mother Lila, please pray to the Lord our God for us :).

Adjustments ;)

Sitting for awhile to look up my blog, I mean specifically this blog; I was intrigued to remember the tones of my writing in my early time of blogging (i.e. 2008-2009). It thrilled me to feel again the enthusiasm, straightforwardness and that sanity which is apparent from those writing. It raises a little bit strike to my consciousness as to how I have been moving to coldness and even gloom as far as writing a post is concerned. Well, first of all I think of the transition that I have as a post-college student experience.

And yes, I am getting older now, so the world for me seems to be not just for fun :D. Well, every process that needs to be taken and even is still allowed by ever loving Lord is worth it to be grateful of. The more I am reflecting on this, the more I am amazed toward His mercy and the wonder of humanity. Being a human is such a joy and at the same time such a challenge. But with the Lord in our side, each day is a blessing and a journey which we must take by ever clinging to him even more.

Difficulty has made a great way to shape and sharpen hearts and minds. By the little seeds of sorrow, God continually cultivates greater joy and hope for eternity in us. It works amazingly for our salvation. Sometimes, very tempting it is for me to just skip the difficult part of the day thus, I thought to have plenty and spacious me-time. It sounds like, why not having the students’ smiles all the time and goes out from the class happy and illumined? Or why not having students behave angelically and ever ready when they are given instruction? Well, that is our vision as teachers; yet reality has not been always so. But one thing that I know is that the Lord alone knows and changes the heart.

Working as teacher, as far as I realize is never an easy calling. Majority of time, as the interactions move on, lots of decisions need to be made; and yes the brave ones. Realizing my own weaknesses and clouded mind, I constantly ask for God’s mercy to brighten my spirit and grant me wisdom so that it is not my temporary emotions, but the will of God be done in each instance. God is good, and with that in mind constantly, God has made me the spectator of His wonders working in these young souls. 

It’s December (already)! Although here in Indonesia the weather most likely and is staying the same, but still the expectation of some kind of restful and festive weeks of Christmas is there. And how I am waiting for great moments to be with my beloved family in USA just in a few weeks. God has been faithfully guiding me through these times of toiling and sometimes crazy time to catch up with due dates. And all that I can say is, Thank you Lord!