being faithful

After awhile, I come across this topic of being faithful. This seems to me to be the week-long reflection which eventually written down into this post. 

In my work life during the month, it could be somehow exhausting. Needless to say that the past few days has been rather tough for me both physically and mentally. Special fatigue came from long list of due dates and students affairs which seems so dynamics and 'endless'. Once I got chance to share it with my friend, I told him very casually that I feel overwhelmed. To my surprise his response was very unusual. Instead of telling me to try harder and 'don't give up', he very indistinctly said,"Just slow down, man!" That's all and I kept silent for a moment.  

Wow! I exclaimed to my self. That's it. That was actually all I needed to hear. I need to slow myself down; well not in a sense of slothfulness --but rather to lay aside all those burdens of proving great works and trusting more to the Lord! He takes care and what I need to do is to say yes to every of His will. The Lord knows that his servants also need rest and I feel almost like dancing in my heart. Yes. I need to slow down to be able to collecting myself and be totally there. 

So, how can this relate to 'faithfulness'? Hm. Well, that came to me a few days later. So, there I was trying to make it easy and slow down a little bit. The moment when I started to agonizing about what shall I do or how can I manage to do multiple tasks, etc; I give it up in prayers and whisper to myself, "Totally slow down, please." Ta-da! That's awesome. The moment I became calmer, the specific things which I could work on flew by itself. Without even realizing it, I started do the things I need to do. Praise the Lord. So, I understand now, we cannot accomplish anything simply by being panic and anxious. But by being still and know that the Lord is there, that He shines His countenance upon us! And that is where our faithfulness takes form; since "Without Me, you can do nothing." In keeping the remembrance of Him and not being distracted by stormy sea around us, then we can give our self totally to Him!

And finally, I want to share this simple but beautiful words of beloved Mother Lila, "All feelings of anxiety spring from imagination. I, too am in this world. I, too, have to pay my telephone bill and all the rest. But I am not anxious. Because I know that the Lord will provide what is necessary at the right moment - exactly what and how much is needed." (The Ascetic of Love, p. 333)

--Glory to You, O Christ! --Such a beautiful faith! Faith which led her faithful till the end.  

Enjoyment of reading

Literacy and ability to process symbols into meaning in general is one of our gifts. I am tickled to reflect how this capacity can lead us into exploration, learning and creativity. Reading a good book at a time can be really good way to reflect and 'listen to' something outside of ourselves. However, of course we need to be somehow selective of what we are going to read, because not everything is beneficial and even can be harmful to our soul.

So, in this post I really want to encourage my beloved readers and dear friends of mine to take up something to nourish our mind. Number one and foremost, of course the Holy Scripture! Since in these sacred text we are not only studying, but even we are being enlivened: just picture a dough being leavened so that we might grow and alive! For the words from Holy scriptures, very especially the books of Gospel has power to brighten our understanding and transform our mind into His likeness. What a blessing it is! It's that simple: Can you read? Then grab and open reverently your Bible and read it. Well, that's sounds rather easy. But in reality? Yes, I know. Since I also experience that heaviness, reluctance and excuses not to practice this. But only  one or two things we really need to have --specific time and consistency! And these two are in our power.

Again, we have that gift of understanding letters, combination of them to make a meaning (very amazing if you know in Original languages of Holy Scripture, yet at least in our mother tongues), so let's read! It just needs a bit of 'smart tactic' in sparing the time and being consistent in that. The Lord who sees our earnestness to approach Him and our faithfulness in struggle will grant His grace and mercy even more (as He has been). So #1 let's dedicate our reading to... Holy Scriptures!

Then, the second book which I really recommend to be recited regularly is the prayer book. All other books might require us to wander around in imagination and mental activity, but this beautiful book collects us and empowers, even sanctifies us into a real person. Since through this book we submit our ego and let ourselves to be taught and to be purified both in thought and in wisdom to dispose our hearts into the right bearings and into the truth. So, let us embrace and diligently search and recite our treasures and let our hearts be strengthened and recharged by the expressions inside. So, #2 let's sit and recite our prayer books (by this I include psalms and hymns of the church).

The rest of the books which beneficial are the writings of Holy Fathers and Mothers in the Church.They warm up our heart and seed the desires to be with God and to praise Him. And since we are also called to serve others in the world, we might find any subjects which we are on. I especially love history and geography books since they let me know how wonderful is God's secret hands among mankind from ages to ages.    

Keep balance

I smiled this morning. When I awoke with mundane heaviness to start the day, I tried to collect myself and made the sign of the precious cross. Yes, it is Sunday! The day of the Lord and thus time to remember Him in a special way, by going to His temple. Silently I sat by my bedroom and not too long before my worries and cares arose in the corner of my heart as to think about what I need to do, what I need to plan and a lot more. Suddenly it feels like a light to my mind. "Hey, why not to be more deliberate; to learn to be present where I am without being eaten up by the urgency to rush and to make my day?"

Yes, that is the very first battle of the mind: to be constantly occupied by so many cares and lose ourselves in agony about what to come, or simply being there, trusting Him who will guide us and show us what He wants us to do. To be honest, in my inexperienced mind, I'd rather try so hard to manage my day in such away to avoid undesirables. I will make five of 'list to do' for the day and ended up doing only one. I tried to figure out, solve and got quite hectic for the day and ended up being overwhelmed and worn out. This habit, in my reflection although is not totally wrong can lead to fatigue and depression. So, what point do I need to recheck?

And that's the reason I smiled this morning. I learn that everything needs to start, to be guided and to be shrouded by prayers! Nothing can be accomplished, can be thanked for and can be celebrated in truest sense-without prayer -- without our gaze toward Him who loves us all. The art of being in peace, being in the present moment, enjoying our work and tasks lies in offering up our trust and constant remembrance of  the Lord. And for me, number one enemy to make this possible is irrational worry and anxiety.

Thus, by being more deliberate, turning any slightest thought of concern into prayer and silence before the Lord results in the sweet stream of peace and joy even in the most demanding hours of our day. We realize where we are, what we are doing, and at the same time we offer incense of prayer and thanksgiving to the Lord.

So, I learn today that in any moment of temptation, difficulty and heavy labor, it is most fitting to seek refuge in the Lord and trust Him completely. Our joy doesn't depend on how much pain we avoid or how much pleasure we can enjoy but in knowing that The Lord transforms us and shapes us through every single event He allows us to experience in His grace!