Embracing Paradox, Being a human with colourful emotions

In the tapestry of human existence, threads of sorrow and joy are intricately woven, creating a complex and beautiful mosaic of life. From an Orthodox Christian perspective, accepting both sorrow and joy is not only a recognition of the human experience but also a profound understanding of God's divine plan. In the moments of sorrow, we find solace in the knowledge that Christ himself experienced suffering, and through our trials, we draw closer to Him.

Saint John Chrysostom, a revered figure in Orthodox Christianity, once stated, "Joy and sorrow are not separated. . . . It is only by drawing closer to Christ that one can simultaneously experience both." This insight emphasizes the interconnectedness of our emotional landscape and the spiritual journey. When we embrace our sorrows with faith, we allow room for the transformative power of God's grace, turning our pain into a path of spiritual growth.

Saint Silouan the Athonite echoed this sentiment, saying, "Keep thy mind in hell and despair not." This profound advice encourages believers to face the depths of their sorrows with courage, knowing that even in the darkest moments, God's light shines. By acknowledging and accepting our sorrows, we open ourselves to the possibility of encountering divine joy. This paradoxical dance between sorrow and joy becomes a sacred journey, where the presence of God is felt most profoundly.

Orthodox Christians find inspiration in the life of the Theotokos, the Virgin Mary, who experienced the extremes of sorrow at the foot of the cross and unparalleled joy at the resurrection of her Son. Her example teaches us that sorrow and joy coexist in the divine narrative, reminding us that our human experience mirrors the very essence of Christ's redemptive work. In accepting both sorrow and joy, Orthodox Christians find a deeper connection to their faith and a richer understanding of the profound mystery of God's love.

Trust in God

 Living day to day can be less joyful when worries take over the realm of our actions. It is our part to take heed of the words from our Beloved Saviour, Christ the Lord: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear..." The ailment of worries and weakness of faitheartedness could come from seemingly 'humane emotions'.Of course, naturally we could be cautious and alert, however at irrational and exaggerating level, worry could sneak in our heart and we could lose hope and love. 

 

The antidote of this kind of worry is - faith, trust in the Lord. In the words of Mother Gavrilia, abandon oneself to the Lord. By willingly and joyfully accepting the ever-good and wise Will of the Lord in our lives. That is our life's truest and deepest meaning. That is our kenosis. It is to run back to the Father of all good and light, and abide in His embrace just like the prodigal Son who returned to His Father; trusting literally everything to Him and live enjoying His mercy from moment to moment unto eternity. 

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7)

Mustering good thoughts

 O how challenging it is in our times to remain calm and appreciative towards all that have been bestowed upon us! Scrolling up social media pages, for example, we are served with sensational facts, news and reality, that many times are miserable. This subtle patterns of exposing the defects and what is lacking, at certain degree is part of our growth ingredients. But, when it is the sole mechanism that we have, we shall jeopardize the 'most essential' part in our lives; to follow and abide in Christ. 

 

Lest we lose our peace and swept away by the events of the world. We are here not to be swallowed by melancholicity of the fallen world, instead to be salt and light. This is why it is very important for us to be silent and prayerful, so that the peace and grace from the Most high might dwell in us. It is when we are willing to 'lock the room of our heart and thus pray there" we start to see things clearly. In prudence and assertiveness we can keep guard of our thoughts. 

 

This is the art of mustering the good thoughts, keeping the Most Holy Name of the Lord in our hearts, while nurturing resourceful, benevolent and good will toward all.

Some powerful gills during sequestration

Self-quarantine time can be transformed into prayer times. It helps us in unique way to force ourselves having quiet times; and reduce our needs to wander around. It's time to come back and stay inside, at home within our hearts. However, without discernment and watchfulness, this can become chance of boredom and inactivity.

stillness painting, source here

Having some sorts of to do list and specific objectives during the day will help a lot at least by willing to do certain duties and responsibility that we need to take. Of-course, this would be aeons much better when we ask The Lord to bless before we even start it.

Pray. Discipline in prayers can be such real battle for excuses. We might want to say we have works, we need to wake up so early, getting really hectic right after we arise from our bed, with such rushing desire to stare at our phones catching up with the things that might have happened when we are asleep. Yet, have we considered to spare and set aside sometime to actually stand in stillness and wonder to the One who loves us and cares for us so much? It doesn't take that much to start. Even 5-10 minutes is good. Yet, the more we progress, we know that even the whole seconds of our lives is insufficient to greet and return the Love that has been bestowed to us every single day. What about if, honestly, we are in total hurry? Well, at least we still have an active mind and heart. We can always call the Lord's name when we stand, we sit, when we walk, when we wait, when we run. Where can we escape from his love? Praise Him with all our strength, and make no excuse to do so.

Extricating Slothfulness and Building up Eagerness to Learn

Day in, day out temptations and thoughts swarm us like flies; thus being still and be able to take some caution and retreat, to keep watch and stay guard at the door of our minds is very crucial. Among many other things, the simplest way to discern less resourceful thoughts is in the nature of its difficulties. Most of the time, slothfulness starts with the seduce of the ease. We want things to be easy and entertaining.

Just to illustrate, the day we are about to set out to do big project, such as writing, translating or to do our prescribed duties per se, suddenly online games, 'just chilling' and 'relaxing a little bit' becomes such sweet option. It is as if our minds yell and retaliate against the complexity and loftiness of the task given and choose instant gratification.

The hard truth is: we only grow when we are willingly facing and handling the challenge. The minute we give in to such offer, we shall be overcome with the bound of slothfulness which requires more and more of our time to satisfy. Love the challenge and the 'burden' of toiling. We are asked to do, as in the words of Holy Apostle Paul, to do every task whole-heartedly, as we do for God for his glory, and not for mere men. It certainly needs some degree of will power, humility and sincere obedience to so things at hand.

It is beautiful to learn loving God by denying ourselves from 'little' gratifications which make us less. Be it less productive, less patient, less wise, less prudent, anything less. It takes small, humble and sweet steps to follow Christ in obedience, by being dilligent and do little but meaningful things trusted to us faithfully.

For without Me you can do nothing

Reflection from the book of Zechariah 4:1-14

Blessed vision
Blessed visitation from The Lord of Hosts
In His love, His holy temple shall be rebuilt
Behold the beautiful synergy
Of the Love of the Most High
And the humble service of His men

For men's efforts without God's blessing are nothing and vain
Everything is moved and to be blessed in the Holy Spirit
Human efforts under the power of God the Holy Spirit yield everything God wills in His goodness

Blessed be the Name of the Lord!
My sweetness, my true joy, and life
Blessed art Thou!

Praying the Psalms

This week I come across some of instructions from some holy fathers about beautiful spiritual habit among devout Christians since the ancient times. And surprisingly I found that this wisdom is profound for us to make progress in the path of life that is pleasing to God, namely memorizing the psalms.

We live in the age of internet; instant gratifications and escape from boredom can be reached just one click away. Applications, games, fancy entertainments and social media fit in to be alternative of stressful hours or even spare times in between. More and more young people spend their times online doing games and amusing stuff on the internet.

The very idea of sitting there reading, pondering and memorising the psalms thus is not very appealing. It needs sacrifice and spiritual podvig, at least at the start.

But once we by the grace of Merciful Lord remain steadfast and willing to offer our time in silent and secret meditations of His words, we will soon find how delightful this habit can be! For it nourishes our hearts and minds to dwell unceasingly in the blessed remembrace of The Lord's love through praying the Psalms...

On reading and memorising Psalm 1 in my mother tongue, Indonesian, I find how deep and innumerable is God's wisdom and love in between the words of this first chapter...

It started with blessing from the Lord to avoid the way of the wicked, those ways of life that don't put The Lord in the center of errands, that do not acknowledge God and His love immanent in all things. Not to walk, stand or even sit with such ideas and ways of life. Rather to dwell and to take root in the blessed commandments of the Lord. With such fervent desire and yearning to please God and understand his will... We are to meditate on them day and night.

In this manner thus we will find meaning in life. Instead of focusing and being swept away by rough and merciless storm of passions and self-love, we find our refuge and peace in the Lord's Light. Thus the Lord is with us in every undertaking and with his blessings we will be prosperous as He deigns for the salvations of many.

With constant temptations and trials in life, those who shelter themselves with the love of God stand still in the judgment and they encourage and commend each other in the assembly of righteous but the wicked will be like chaff in the mercy of wind, for they trust not God but their own power and understanding.

Blessed is the Lord unto the ages of ages!

Readings and Reflections

Beloved readers,

I know it has been a while since the last time I wrote and posted on my humble blog. Pardon my sloth and lack of willpower to write in the past year. You might have had the experience of getting very difficult to put down your thoughts into words for innumerable reasons. Well, it becomes more and more compelling for me to 'resuscitate' this blog which has been a personal journal since 2009. Now that I have realised it is being the tenth year this blog being in existence, I would love to orient this blog into more reading, thoughts and reflection which in turn will be beneficial for anyone who comes across this blog, both my faithful readers or anyone who happened to land on this blog. Welcome!

 Let me start with my reflection on the book of Zechariah 3:1-19:

How sweet are Thy words, O Lord
they restore my soul and heart

Thy beloved high Priest Joshua
foreshadowing Thy loving presence
bore a wonderful vision
of Thy mercy and love
testified by the Archangel from high

At the time of Thy people
returned from the exile to their own homeland
Thou adorned Thy beloved priest with new and clean garment

O mystery of repentance
of having Thee always at the heart
and Thy commandments be ever ready at hand

Thy will be done
Thy love incarnate in Thy beloved servant
Thy kingdom come, on earth as it is in heaven 

Voluntary Love

It happened today as my new friends, catecumens and I stood in the front of our iconostasis, we had such heart-warming conversation about Christ's saints. My friends were not very familiar with the way St. John the Forerunner written on an Orthodox icon. Thus when we stood in the front of his holy icon, one of them asked, "Whose icon is this? An angel?" (may be because he saw the wings) I paused for a while looking at the direction at which icon  he asked. I put on smile and answered rather light-heartedly,"Yes." "But a very special angelos (messenger). He was sent with a very special tiding and greatest news to the mankind. That is to prepare the way for the Messiah to come. He is the one sound in the wilderness calling the people of God into repentance so their hearts may welcome the Kings of all".

"Wait. Saint John the Baptist?" "Yes. You got it right." "He is the greatest prophet, whose life is like those of angel's. His purity, sincerety, bravery, obedience and voluntary asceticism astonish us even until today". I continued.

My friends' eyes sparks with such warmth that he venerate his icon and we further discussed his life and how the church honors him in such deep love.

One of the things that really touched me from our spiritual discussion was how these beautiful saints of God have very poignant thing in common: enduring things voluntarily in their obedience to God. In other words, for those who love God beyond words, they put love and obedience to God in the very first priority of their lives. They voluntarily trust and 'abandon' their lives to Christ that He might use it for much bigger than what they humanely possible.

For Saint John it was his life style. He lived in a harsh place, yet far from complaining and whining, he took this ascetic way of life to glorify God, to live like an angel on earth, voicing God's commands for Israelites to lay aside worldly vanity and lies, to come back to God , repent and receive Him. He voluntarily lived his life in such away that "Christ must be greater and he becomes less and less."

Then upon looking at Panaghia's icon, I was reminded that she too, was such lovely example of how God's chosen voluntarily let God work in her so that His will be done on earth as it is in heaven, beyond words, rather by giving Herself to be the tabernacle of The Most High!

Then, if we trace every saint's life, this thread is of very significant importance: to suffer and be poor voluntarily, to endure every single thing for the sake of love toward God foremostly-- which inevitably directly correlate with love towards neighbors.

This thoughts and reflections brings such sweetness and comfort to my soul. Quite often I found myself blindly wish in my heart that the circumstances change in such away that I can always enjoy (that is, in my favour). I forgot that God's wisdom is far beyond my understanding. Such a great joy it is to know that Our Loving Lord is always there with us among the mundane and even sour life experiences to actually transform us into His likeness. One thing is really necessary: to stop looking at ourselves and playing with self-pity. Rather, to accept it as from God, voluntarily and joyfully endure it for the sake of God's love.

So together with St. John the forerunner we would live a life of voluntary obedience, abandoning our lives in the hands of Good Shepperd and keep following Him to Golgotha and beyond, into His eternal presence. Glory to God for all things!

Simply being there

I didn't see so much of my fellow Indonesians walking. For me, I do like walking. What I really love in the simple act of walking is that thoughts of gratefulness to be able to trod rather slowly and mindfully the earth and based on my personal experience, ignites sense of simplicity and strength.

Afternoon and evening walk is kind of regular feat for my days and it teaches me to be ever grateful over simple things that God bestows: existence, life, health, strength, air and many others, while being in the real world.

We live in the era when our minds moves so much faster than our body and many of our days are dominated by online activities and staring at our screens. It is highly necessary for us now to moderate the use of our gadgets; to simply be there, silent and be with ourselves, others in the ever presence of God. The streams of news, media, entertainments, thoughts can drive our minds too fluctuative and thus getting it worn out.

It is a wise thing to slow down our lives and to have such will to pause ourself, a kind of fasting from online world in regular bases. Sometimes what we need is sipping our tea in simplicity; staring at nature, seashores and the magnificient works of our Lord without being bugged by our devices. Simply being there, that's a bit of reminder we need to hear.

This world cannot offer

In the world that hurries
with materialism and worries
when having more fits vain fantasies
yearning to the temporary binges

One thing is needful
which will turn life beautiful
where peace and love made bountiful
to go down deep through path serene and peaceful
the way of renouncing worldly cares and not to be its slave so awful

But in being good steward
who knows the goodness of his Master
thus anxious not, worries not
but abide in joy and constant thanksgiving
no matter small or big
the heavens bestow the treasures manifest in goods
that riches on earth shall pass rather quickly
and serve as nothing except handled charity and mercy toward others

We are but dust and ashes
shaped with love by The Most Beautiful Hands of all
to do His purpose
and to share in His nature by grace
lest the riches of the world trap us
into greed and pride
may it be far from us

Rather, fill our hearts with joy and thanksgiving
this world cannot offer
in the abundance of heavens
in those little things too often overlooked
for it is pleasing to the Lord
the hearts that is full of His praise and childlike
trusting the protection and providence from Good Father,
thus crying out with pure trust:
"Give us this day, our daily bread...."

Blessed is The Lord now and ever and unto the ages of ages!

Stay focus

It is no secret that focus can bring such enormous result and intensity. Such simple illustration how the magnifying lens can ignite fire when we can get just right angle to focus the light toward an object serve as a reminder. Thus is the power of focus which can also be applied to our daily life.

This thoughts of focus and in fact, re-focusing of life came to my mind this week as I have started to realize how scattered my thoughts, wishes and plans earlier this year. So many things happen so fast and yet I don't see myself making any progress. I succumbed in the comfort zone of wishing but not making any good move. In these times, how I miss to hear from my ever beloved Dad (may His memory be eternal) to not being too harsh to myself but rather to keep my thoughts and sole purpose to Lord Jesus Christ. And I guess he is right. Once I tried to accomplish anything in life without first bowing down to the will of Ever Loving Christ, then that would be something vain.

Sweet is how God's mercy works. He reminded me this week through his beloved that, God is Love. And He called me, "Theophilos" a Greek name which comes from words "Theos" and "Philos", The lover of God. What a beautiful name to bear. You should live it out. Love Christ above all. And those words pierced my soul (nous) as a surgeon's knife works to open and fix my unhealthy parts! He reminded me yet over and over again why I am here doing what I should do: because He loves me and He wants me to love him just like the meaning of my name sugests.

Ah, poor me, how easy it is for this little fellow to be side tracked by the vanity of this world. Of wanting this and that, hoping this and that but forgetting the most essential and needful thing in life: to love Christ and others. This should be our focus (well, my focus) day in day out. Everything will fall into its rightful places if only we know how to work it out by God's grace in our lives. Let us look upon, cling on and cried with ardent love and yearning, "Lord, help me; Lord, I need You every time; Lord I want to love You for You love me so much; Lord Jesus Christ, The Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner."

 

The Hidden the loudest

There are many tunnels as in channels
Kernels of expressions
exposures as in expansions

How expansive and convenient
to show the world of our magnificence
leaving the inner chamber untouched

Lo, it is the hidden that speaks louder
its sounds and echoes reaches heavens
among the unseen and unheard

What human busies about in his lonely time
What human reach for gratification and comfort
Is it one of the serene silence?
or it is the chaotic and untamed fire?

Is it the locked room where prayers and godly deeds in motion?
or is it bestial desire chasing one another
grabbing the spot light to be on the surface?

Is it silence and balanced thought
of compassion and intercession?

Please ask your soul.

Sailing across the ocean

Life and cycle. Those two words often seem related. In a way, our life is filled with dynamics of one circumstance to another. Changes surround us the created and mortal beings. However, we tend to love pleasing moments more than anything else. This is not necessarily bad, but the unwillingness to embrace and accept the dynamics of life will result in imbalance and lost of perspective.

Now I learn from the simple cases through out the day: guiding the students through their curiosity, innocent ignorance and rough sides, and then little by little they make progress and comes to the understanding. Just like a wave tides up and down, or a wheel keep rotating, so it is the graph of our emotions and occurrences that greet us day by day, minute by minute.

I heard somewhere else that the actual disability of a man is his unwillingness to adapt. It is a good thing to embrace and adapt to any situation we are put into. We certainly cannot expect life to be always on high, nor become overly dramatic by looking at sad sides of life. Balance. Balance is always needed for us to keep moving.

Today our house may be tidy, clean and cozy, but of course due to the cost of activity and movements that we make around the house, we certainly will find that the very house will be in 'chaotic' phase. However, let us move beyond the phenomena! It is our willingness to embrace the difficult, chaotic phases of our life to make it meaningful and graceful. Very wise saying goes, "When there is darkness, don't curse it. Light a lamp!" In the same token, when our life gets rough, just go with it and live gracefully with joyful acceptance.

So, what we can put into our cup of thoughts from this reflection? Get ready with change; downsides of life. Not with pessimistic and self-defeat attitude, but with courage and serenity. First, by giving up unrealistic wish that life would be always sweet and under control. Yet, to be gentle and humble in accepting the chaotic phase and work it out. Constantly. Resiliently. Tirelessly. After all, those toils, struggles and fights are blessings which make us real human!

Opportunity for Integrity

In a single day, there are countless opportunity for us to act brave, honest and humanly. Be it when we are alone with ourselves or we are in the midst of crowds. Christ warned his disciples to keep watch so that they did not fall into temptation. It’s still true for us his believers to keep that beautiful commandments in our hearts and minds.

Of course the world doesn’t revolve on our personality nor does our personal life become the center of the universe. Yet, we are accountable for the choices that we make day in, day out. For this matter we can’t ignore those small semi-automatic responses that we have in dealing with various situation. When pressed with risks, do we choose to stay honest? When humiliated, do we choose to keep silent in dignity? When cursed, do we bless, and so on and so on. In short, do we choose to be who we really are when crosses come in our way?  There is possibility that our habit and preferences to act and to respond in different critical moments become the very definition of our characteristics: patient or impatient, loving or angry, wise or bitter, indifferent or compassionate.

 When we want to keep our spiritual life flourish and fruitful,  we cannot ignore these small and invisible warfare of thoughts and responses. It is not a kind of program and self-help approach that we could simply implant by the force of self-will to work, rather it is a journey of living faith. Of being fragile and vulnerable, yet never losing hope in faith and repentance. It is a constant clinging to the Benevolent source of grace which is sufficient in our weakness and turns those cracks in us to be channels of radiant lights.

Simply remember to redeem the time and make most of the time to keep our eyes on Jesus, whom we follow. Let us so immersed in Him that all that we do, think, and feel is inseparable from His loving grace.  Thus little by little we are transformed into  his likeness, as we learn from Him for He is meek and gentle in heart.

Be still in remembrance

Life has been such a bitter-sweet path. We might plan or wish, but what really happens sometimes can be different than what we might want at the fist place. However, I am reminded that it is our willing acceptance and humility to face reality as given from above is what really matters. The Lord keeps sending  people to our lives and those encounters strengthen us and shape us for better. 

Our journey toward sanctification starts anytime, be it the moment when we wake up, dress up, and when we make our coffee, doing our chores or doing our tasks at office. God is everywhere present and fill all things, and that makes every little things counts toward our sanctification. The Lord works in, out and surround us with His grace to make our life worthy of His calling. It is thus become a practical reality for us to respond and participate in the God's works. That is to stay in the remembrance of God from time to time and to live for Him. We cannot live by our own strength and thus prayer becomes very essential for us.

May we find prayer as our breath in every moment, as we want to stay close to the Lord at all times. May our lips be filled with His praises and supplication toward the Most High. May the grace of God enlighten our being so that we may be the vessels of goodness and love of God. Don't hesitate to pray at any and every moment. Especially let us pray for wisdom, patience and courage to endure and to be ready to offer help and let our presence be that healing presence in the name of the Lord.    

Being content

How many more resources do we need to spend to quench our desires on temporary things? I remember how I really want certain book title sometime ago. However, by now when i have already gotten it, it is not that desirable anymore. This small experience that I had, struck me with the thoughts of what we actually need and what we merely want. Behind this phenomenon, there are many possible reasons, but in my personal observation the games of discontentment take place. This kind of circle makes us feel less and want more. After getting one thing, we then start to be plagued with another wish and etc. But the danger of this mentality is that we would never feel enough. We toil and sweat but for the sake of accumulating things which ‘the moth will eat.’

What about the alternative disposition; that essentially in the hand of Good Shepherd we shall not want? We shall not be anxious about what we will eat and wear, because we shift our attention from seeking world attention and any of those gratifications toward the stewardship of Bountiful Lord. We know that we are just servants of Him who exalts one and humbles the other. It is His infinite wisdom that leads us by hand, and says, “Be still, and know that I am The Lord”.

This new dispositions will make a tremendous difference. We won’t be swallowed by the stream of materialism and worldliness. Why? Because then we know that it is The Lord who sends and sets everything for the goodness of those who love Him.

In other word, all things become blessing for His beloved ones. Be it a bright sky, or the dark night. Be it a mocking and oppressions, laughter or weeping, everything. Those blessings are sent as the rough edges stone to sharpen our soul. Through each moment of our life both in abundance and scarcity He molds and shapes us into His likeness. Just like radio transmitter and receiver system, we need to tune to the right frequency to get this: humility. Acknowledging the unspeakable goodness and mercy of God in hard times has been trait of his saints through ages. They are content with whatever the Lord sends. Sometimes it means the joy of being in the company of loving fellows. Yet sometimes it means being slandered and looked down by the world. Yet, they are blessings! They are sent by God to save and protect us from self-delusion and vanity. They are sent in such away so wisely, so timely, so beautifully that we might come closer to Him and be like Him. Every unjust and unexpected occurrence, encounters and befalling are used by God to sanctify us. Now, rejoice in the Lord always. How His goodness is beyond our understanding, beyond our subjective feeling about what has become of us, beyond what we like or we want. Glory to God for all things.    

Journey of Love (1) – The fuel

We are created to love. Whatever our condition might be. Since the first inhale of air into our body, maybe even before that, we are called to struggle and mingle with enigmatic and dynamic mystery which is called love. Even our very existence if it is sustained until today, the biggest reason of all is love. Greatest commandments  start with a command and blessing, “Love....”

What an inevitable reality! Clouds of witnesses surrounded us in multitude. How we measure the ‘distance’ of earth and heaven? By the presence of love within us, within our family, within our community and within our nation. Such a tireless and sometimes exhausting, crushing and so narrow and close to impossible journey! We have to come face to face with so many challenges and storms  just to hold on and stand fast in Love. Real love is that which has been tested through darkest nights, hottest dessert, hurdles and hardship. Anything that is not love shall be like chaff  and filth in front of fire.

God designs us and makes us capable of perceiving and responding to love. He gives us His blessing, and one among the greatest ones is... choice. Whether we choose to trust Him and thus responding to His love and move toward Him, or to choose anything else as we desire. This choice makes space for us to joyfully and willingly lay aside our own self to embrace His All Merciful love. Sadly, we failed from time to time.

Nothing can overcome His love, though. He calls every human being into the embrace of His love from ages to ages. That Love has never lost. Ages to ages has this one strong message to listen and to ponder:  Anytime mankind depends on their own discernment, perception and strength , they fall immediately and severely. In the other hand, when they humble themselves before God and joyfully follow their Maker, clinging to Him with all their hearts and minds and strengths, they soared like eagle, and transformed into the likeness of their Lover. Adam and Eve fell for this very reason. Great people of the past fell for this very reason.

Now around us we see too obviously that people are craving for love. The  single continuous battle between the seconds of our lifetime is to love or not to love. Despite the fact that people long for love so badly, they often find themselves in exact opposite direction of love. Out of fear, guilt and shame, people make themselves further and further away from the real love. Yet, in the end, the  quality of our life shall be measured by this:  our proximity to Love; that is our proximity and clinging upon—Christ.

Just as a person who will dispatch for journey needs supplies and all necessary stuff to reach destination, we ultimately need them as well. In the very begining of this journey, we need God’s help and His mercy above all else. No love can be manifested outside of His mercy. Yes, if you want, you might go with anything less than love, but if you want the real and pure one, God is the source of power to make it come true.

It starts with, “Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God, have mercy on me.” Let God pours out His mercy and love that it shall overflows through your being. 

In abundance or in scarcity: Obedience

Yearning and seeking for beauty, peace and security, human souls long for those sense they are created for. But this has been proven to be very though struggle and costly. However, when people put their trust and ‘anchor’ into vain and wrong root, it will be even more painful and miserable. We are created by God and therefore only in God shall we find rest and joy.

It is tested through time and experience, that whenever we are obedient, peace dwell within us in such warmth and power. Yes, once we take that step of faith, the frictions of uncertainty and unseen reality thrust the heart with difficult time. However, there is sense that joy and peace which is beyond understanding shrouded us. Then we can simply trust and trust and trust. Until the Lord’s time comes and the faith come into sight.

 In the riches of life, people goes through different season and times. There are times of laughter and abundance. But there are times, when even we need to survive day after another. Remember, no matter what, obedience to the Lord comes first. Much easier said than done. But it’s not that hard either. Once human knows that he is but dust brought into life, there’s nothing feel so unbearable, especially for the sake of love toward Master.

Lord, looketh Thou down from the heavens and remember Your humble servant. Let me not perish in my sin and earthly toil. Rather, pour out Thy grace that I may trod the land with peace, with hard work and obedience. So that even my flesh and my heart fade away, You are my portion forever and ever. Amen. 

Love and not fame

Somehow when we are still living in this world, it is inevitable for us for to communicate in two manifestations. The first one is that internal interaction we have with our own thoughts. The second one going on between us and external reality. Both of them are not hidden from the loving eyes and ears of God. Let us more concerned with what we might think and conduct ourselves toward others than the other way around. What other might think of us can fade away in matter of minutes or even seconds. That counts not the foremost. But what attitude and presumption that we have toward others will stay long with us and affect how we relate toward that person. Be it a loving and  encouraging one, or resenting and grudging one.

“ Woe to you when all men speak well of you...” is very strong and clear exhortation for us to be very careful of vanity and falsehood. In a way, this is very good reminder for us too that we could not control how people might presume about us. They will think and speak of us as they wish. But, even worse when they speak ‘well’ of us, yet for false reason and based on falsehood. Thus, staying genuine and truthful is very important. It’s easy to fall into making impressions toward people around us because praises and sweet words are very tempting and sweet. Yet, again, the focus should not fall in the praises, credit or feedback, but it is in the staying truthful and genuine. Even if people might not be impressed or praise us for what we do. Yet still that fake sweetness cannot and will not surpass the favour from on high.

So, again, rather than chasing cunning and slippery praises, much better is to nurture our-self with prayer and simplicity. Just like muscle needs some work out to stay strong and in shape, our faith hope and love needs nourishment and ‘exercises’ to function. By that I mean, do we soberly keeping watch over our thoughts? Especially those related to our assumptions and thoughts we have about others? Fill our heart first and fore-mostly with the sweet power of Lord’s  Name,  open the heart and fill our hearts with warmth and love toward all. Mother Gavrilia is so keen of this saying, “people are sent, and we are sent to them .” and “human hearts never stop being good.” What a very loving way of approaching life. What if we lay aside the harmful thoughts and embrace all with simplicity and love. Listening them with ears of love, looking at them with compassion and thinking o f anyone under spectacle of mercy?

Love. Love. Love. We are called to love. No love, no life. It’s the narrow road, through which the old self and what it might carry are crushed in pieces. It might seem more desirable to impress and get people’s praises, yet still, it will fade away even before the sun goes down. Yet, the more wholesome, true  and lasting one is to love: to think, say, and do toward all in agreement of the will of God. Being helpful is always more important and meaningful than being impressive. So, it’s love and not fame which we must nurture.