Meanwhile, life at works kind of gets tougher. At times, I feel exhausted and becomes down. But then, such truth and beauty which comes from the Lord through his beloved servants always refresh and sustain me. One of them, I forgot exactly the Saint who says this--but I remember the highlight which goes like, "We need humiliation and adversity as much as a sick person needs medication." For a while, I was like a fainted person which just received a punch or something which makes me awake. How true! Looking back, I somehow recall how my attitude of being down, cranky and rude is because of my entitlement of comfort zone. Because everything doesn't 'feel right' that is not the way I want it to be, then I get upset and my mood ruins. How interesting it is, upon hearing and reflecting on this, I feel a bunch of load, especially emotional loads, released and I am at ease. "Wow. what I really need to do is, just accept it. Accepting with joy and willingness to trust God... literally everything is all that I can do," I summon myself. Indeed, everything good comes from God, even if sometimes it doesn't look like what we imagine, rather something hard which work in us beauty which we cannot make through ourselves.
Endure. Stay faithful. Keep focusing on Him, by having remembrance of His Holy Name and love. These things in us will instill fear of God. When we are filled with awe before Him, we will be silent and willing to bear anything; not only our personal adversity which comes from work, toil and such. Even more, we shall be given strength to love our enemies. Here is a very beautiful prayer of St. Nikolai of Serbia:
Bless my enemies, O Lord. Even I bless them and do not curse them.
Enemies have driven me into your embrace more than friends have.
Friends have bound me to earth, enemies have loosed me from earth and have demolished all my aspirations in the world.
Enemies have made me a stranger in worldly realms and an extraneous inhabitant of the world. Just as a hunted animal finds safer shelter than an unhunted animal does, so have I, persecuted by enemies, found the safest sanctuary, having ensconced myself beneath your tabernacle, where neither friends nor enemies can slay my soul.
Bless my enemies, O Lord. Even I bless them and do not curse them.
They, rather than I, have confessed my sins before the world.
They have punished me, whenever I have hesitated to punish myself.
They have tormented me, whenever I have tried to flee torments.
They have scolded me, whenever I have flattered myself.
They have spat upon me, whenever I have filled myself with arrogance.
Bless my enemies, O Lord, Even I bless them and do not curse them.
Whenever I have made myself wise, they have called me foolish.
Whenever I have made myself mighty, they have mocked me as though I were a dwarf.
Whenever I have wanted to lead people, they have shoved me into the background.
Whenever I have rushed to enrich myself, they have prevented me with an iron hand.
Whenever I thought that I would sleep peacefully, they have wakened me from sleep.
Whenever I have tried to build a home for a long and tranquil life, they have demolished it and driven me out.
Truly, enemies have cut me loose from the world and have stretched out my hands to the hem of your garment.
Bless my enemies, O Lord. Even I bless them and do not curse them.
Bless them and multiply them; multiply them and make them even more bitterly against me:
so that my fleeing to You may have no return;
so that all hope in men may be scattered like cobwebs;
so that absolute serenity may begin to reign in my soul;
so that my heart may become the grave of my two evil twins, arrogance and anger;
so that I might amass all my treasure in heaven;
ah, so that I may for once be freed from self-deception, which has entangled me in the dreadful web of illusory life.
Enemies have taught me to know what hardly anyone knows, that a person has no enemies in the world except himself.
One hates his enemies only when he fails to realize that they are not enemies, but cruel friends.
It is truly difficult for me to say who has done me more good and who has done me more evil in the world: friends or enemies.
Therefore bless, O Lord, both my friends and enemies.
A slave curses enemies, for he does not understand. But a son blesses them, for he understands.
For a son knows that his enemies cannot touch his life.
Therefore he freely steps among them and prays to God for them.
(Taken from: http://www.orthodoxytoday.org/articles/VelimirovichBlessEnemies.php?/articles/VelimirovichBlessEnemies.shtml )
How beautiful! How lovely! Through the prayers of our holy fathers, Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on us and save us.
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