Lord, have mercy! Today, I learn a very interesting and salvific saying of St. Silouan, which I get from Fr. Stephen's blog here it is: " The soul that has acquired humility is always mindful of God, and thinks to herself: ‘God has created me. He suffered for me. He forgives me my sins and comforts me. He feeds me and cares for me. Why, then should I take thought for myself, and that is there to fear, even if death threaten me?"
Lord, have mercy.
Yesterday, when I felt a little bit disappointed because my ideas which I have already hardly to construct yet, my lecturer said that that would not be work, and actually hers is a reasonable one but because of my own flesh will, I felt very uncomfortable with that and almost in my heart I thought with defense mechanism. And also unintentionally, I act and speak, communicate and respond in such away which are not depicting humility. Easy to observe the others weaknesses and hard to accept my own faults. But by the mercy of God, my Gracious Lord Christ reminds me that I should learn humility.
It's hard, though... because of my sinful nature. I also found that it is me who sometimes feels know better than other people, and shortly it is so easy to say that I have right to build my comfort zone, free will to do and to be A, B, C..... and so much others, other than sacrifice that and submit myself obediently to The Most Holy God Father, Lord Jesus Christ and Life Giving Spirit!
But Lord, guide me so that by thy mercy, I may live a holy life, well pleasing unto Thee!
Prayer by St. Philaret, Metropolitan of Moscow
O Lord, grant me to greet the coming day in peace.
Help me in all things to rely upon your holy will.
In every hour of the day reveal your will to me.
Bless my dealings with all who surround me.
Teach me to treat all that comes to me throughout the day with peace of soul, and with firm conviction that your will governs all.
In all my deeds and words guide my thoughts and feelings.
In unforeseen events let me not forget that all are sent by you.
Teach me to act firmly and wisely, without embittering or embarrassing others.
Give me strength to bear the fatigue of the coming day with all that it shall bring.
Direct my will, teach me to pray, pray you yourself in me.
Amen.
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