Euphoria, imagination and passion....

Oh, what can I say today? I would prefer to be silent than to speak about my self, an unworthy servant of Lord Jesus Christ. For whenever I am in the moment like this, I just amazed of his Love. That just unbeleivable, what is more when I see upon my own sinfulness, forgetfulness and proud, fear and many others.

Lord, have mercy on me! Today I learn to love my neighbors and I really love to learn this art of Thy will. However, in my weaknesses and vulnerabilily, many times I fall over and over, I still want to 'take' something more about my self and my self.

There are so many euphorias and imagination and passions that attempt my soul, and I just amazed how .....

"St. Isaac the Syrian enumerates them: Weakness for wealth and for
collecting and owning things of different kinds; the urge for physical
(sensuous) enjoyment; the longing for honour, which is the root of envy; the
desire to conquer and be the deciding factor; pride in the glory of power; the
urge to adorn oneself and to be liked; the craving for praise; concern and
anxiety for physical well-being." (Way of Ascaetics by Tito Colliander,
online version).

Lord, have mercy on me! I can say no more for Thou knowest me my unworthiness.

Lord have mercy. Lord have mercy, Lord have mercy!

It is so hard for me to let my self to be 'crucified' and to be humble is a really tough and crushing lesson, and among them, this is the hardest part:

Take remarks without grumbling: be thankful when you are scorned,
disregarded,
ignored. But do not create humbling situations; they are
provided in the course
of the day as richly as you need. We notice the
person who is for ever bowing
and fussily servile, and perhaps say, How
humble he is! But the truly humble
person escapes notice: the world does
not
know him (I John 3:I); for the world
he is mostly a "zero." (Way of
Ascaetics by Tito Colliander, online version).

But as Colliander said also: "... you should see yourself as a child who is setting out to learn the first sounds of letters and who is taking his first tottering steps ..."

Lord have mercy on me! Glory to Thee O God, Glory to Thee!