from a mosquito racket

Some days ago, early in the past week, one of my roommate, Daniel was sick and because there only were three of us in our room, me and Suryo and Daniel who was sick, so I managed myself to be able to stay in the dorm to take care of him.

Interestingly, in the afternoon, while I was sitting at Daniel's bed edge, I asked him:
"Daniel, do you need something or would you like me to get you something to make you feel better?"
With his remaining power he looked at me and replied, "Yudhie, don't worry. I'll be getting better soon since I feel much better now and I don't think I need something. But if you would like, I need a mosquito racket."
I am wondering, "Hmm, mosquito racket?"
"Yes, I am sure that what has caused my fever is the mosquitoes, and I think this would be better if you get the mosquito racket to kill the mosquitoes, so that they'll not endanger us."

I think, I learned something from Daniel. Sometimes, if somehow we feel hurt or wounded by anything (or anybody), there an easy temptation to put the attention merely to the self. Thus what will be often seen is only the wounds and the sweet melancholy and oneself effort to make that (sickness) become better for oneself welfare; instead of asking for the mercy from the True Healer and entrusted our life entirely to Him, while praying that the sickness and wounds which is afflicting us shall not embitter our soul nor by that harm others, but rather to save them. This reminds me to Joseph ben Jacob, Job the Righteous in his sickness and sorrows, and Our Lord Jesus Christ WHO has the perfect Love!
Thanks Daniel :)!

Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner!

a violin without strings

Just before lunch time, while I was shelving the books in the library, something caught my eye. That was a tittle of a book in Bahasa Indonesia: "Biola tak berdawai", in English it is " a violin without strings." And this provoke my thought by its symbolic and poetic language. So as soon as I returned the book at its place, I recited this little phrase in my heart and tried find something that I can learn from this.

Once, when I was in Lombok island (an island in the east of Bali) attending a youth competition for several days, on the weekend I got the opportunity to see some teenagers (at my age that time) played their violins very elegantly. The music which came out from their instruments was just so beautiful and heart-warming. Deep inside in my heart, I really wanted to be able to play that instrument, since I had never even touched a violin before. Overwhelmed by amazement, I saw them playing and kept admiring them! O, a teen as I was that time! But the experience in the past taught me to repress anything that is "too big" for me, in this case a violin.

The time came when a year later, I had finished my study in Sumbawa Island and I went to Jogjakarta, in Central part of Java island. There I met my sister's college friend who can play a violin. Seeing my amazement toward his playing, he offered me to teach me violin. I gladly accepted his offer and for a little time he taught me the basic skills. However small the skill I had have, but you can see how joyful my eyes that time were, while wishing somehow and someday I would be able and may continue play a violin.

But again, behind me, the experience imposed me to forget this little sparkling wish. However, even until now I keep this little hope within me, I know that it is just childlike dream or in my dictionary, this is teenagerian want. But this is very funny for me when I am realizing that it (this little want) is with me, LOL.

So, that was the story about violin. In another side, if I come back to the book tittle which has caught my eyes: a violin without string, (I know that there are many possibility, but) what came out in my mind is that, it is under construction or being repaired. Surely in time, a precise and fit strings will be on it. But it is in need of patience just little more time, while waiting its Master placing the new strings on it. Yes, because this violin can never play by itself, what's more without the strings-- its life, which it must receive from its Master. Thereafter The Master plays it and it produces sweet sound. Its beauty always tell His Master's.

I know how poor I am in making an analogy, since I am just a babbling boy. And what do you think you can learn from a violin without a string?

Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner!

Podvig, to lay crosses upon oneself and bear them

In my previous posting, I mentioned a word that may be for some of us is not a familiar one. Then Romanos encouraged me to share its meaning to my beloved readers, because many of those readers are my campus friends and this will be very helpful if they know a little bit about Orthodox language. And the word I am telling about is podvig.

The word podvig, based on what I read from a brilliant book of Light in the Darkness by Sergei Fudel (Don't worry, for those who live with me in the dorm, you may ask me to make this book borrowed by you), transliterated as follows:
"Podvig: The Russian word podvig means a heroic act. It is used by Church Fathers to describe spiritual or ascetic effort. A saint is called in Russian "podvizhnik", the one who carries a podvig" (p. 135).

This expression reminds me to the passage in the Holy Scripture:
“The Kingdom of Heaven suffers violence, and the violent take it by force” (Matt. 11:12)
"...but I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, so that, after I have preached to others, I myself should not be disqualified” (I Cor. 9:24-27) and you can find many more in the Holy Scripture.

I admit that I can't explain better than those who had been living this podvig faithfully. St. Theophan the Recluse defines our entire Christian life as podvig. He explains that the spirit hates sin, while the flesh dwells in it. How is this battle within ourselves to be resolved? Through podvig, that spiritual struggle of bringing the soul into mastery over the body. St Innocent, in his book, Indication of the Way into the Kingdom of Heaven, writes clearly that the way which leads to the kingdom of Heaven is precisely to deny oneself, take up the cross, and follow Christ. Our beloved American saint goes on to explain that to deny oneself means to give up ones bad habits, to root out of the heart all that ties us to the world...there are external and internal crosses. To take up ones cross means not only to bear crosses laid on us by others or sent by Providence, but ...even to lay crosses upon oneself and bear them. (Orthodox info).

I recommend these good articles for you who wants to know more : Podvig, Fighting the Good Fight (by Fr. Milovan) and Podvig (Orthodox Info).

Glory to Thee, O God! Glory to Thee!

Anti Boredom

These three weeks for me in my room will be unusual, because most of my friends had been going home to their hometown and also some of them going out for student teaching, field experience and my room will become so silent. One or two days ago, some friends of me express their feeling of boredom and I was and am listening to them. And later or soon (heheh and so far it has't) may be this will also grab me. But wait, to anticipate this, I make a little reflection about of this feeling.

Some people whom I knew had very emotional-oriented responses toward what happened around them. Simply to say, the mood has so great effect on what are spoken and done. I am myself, in my weakness and youth, sometimes tempted to be so. Some days can be nuanced as expressive and flowery and some days can be full of whimpers and lethargy.

I realize that this is one part of our nature in this fallen world and we share this same experience of facing the 'potentially boring' time. And yes, we are sometimes battling with this matter, either at our home, or at campus, or at wherever and whenever it might be. Knowing that we experience this and that not only us, but also the saints experienced it as well in their human nature, so I am a little bit relieved.

But I also realize that the matter is what to do or conduct ourselves in this situation of boredom? Forgive me, since I am still young and not speaking as an experienced nor wise man, but just share a little bit what in my mind in my simplicity.
Firstly, I am sure that my own feeble mind and power can not fight it by itself. I (we) need His mercy and power to act with discernment and wisdom which revealed to us in His Holy Church, through His servants, Holy Scripture and many forms of guidance (for instance, spiritual works of our Fathers). There is no other thing that is more beautiful then our humble prayers and submission to His All Holy Will. All things He allows to happen in our days for our salvation. :)

It is also very important to ask his mercy so that He grant us wisdom to overcome our moods, train it and subject it, and thus not act according to its deceitful and even harmful desires. But put it under His Holy Commandment. And the easiest thing to do is just to continue our labor, prayers and works. By this then we are living not according to our mood and become its slave, instead, bearing our podvig out of our joy to fulfill Our Master's Will, this is our little sacrifice. Sometimes, this is not suddenly pleasant thing, even we may be not comfortable one in the beginning, but with a little endurance in His mercy, then this cloud will pass and the bright day will shine again. The point is not to seek instant comfort nor to create a comfort zone or comfort spot where we can hide ourselves in it. (Our comfort and shelter is only in The House of The Lord !)

I also experience that it is a little bit challenging to even just smile to our beloved brothers and sisters, when we feel this boredom. But, again out of honesty and humility, it is very good to ask God's mercy to empower us to do good works, according to His Goodness and not for our sake and then say Yes whenever He ask. He does never leave us alone in every circumstances.

Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner!

(I have made an audio format of this post, you can download it here)

as rhythm the heartbeat

Love radiates warmth and peace, even in a very simple and short encountes with our beloved ones. While we behold this, we can feel it awesomely in our hearts; it's very pleasing yet we can't sufficiently express it in words alone. And yes, many times He grants me to experience that we don't need sophisticate things to present our love to others, it is very simple and awesome if only we are in Him Who are the source of every good things and of course Love.

These two days, in my dormitory room 101 with my beloved friends, I feel that warmth and peace. Even though we didn't make any big event to share our lives together, yet it is very good for us simply for being together. And two days ago, we watch the comedian, laughed together and eventually know better of each other. It is not about the pleasure or entertainment but joy I feel from dwelling together in peace and goodness. And that's how my room look like in these days which allowed by Providence of God. In that room are Andreas, Aldo, me, Daniel, Mas Eko and Suryo, while some others are doing student teaching out town. God loves you, my friends. Forgive me my fragile and unworthy love, but I know it is very amazing for us to love each other in the Lord.

And The Lord makes me learn that the very first step to Love is to knowing that without Him, our(my)self is nothing and in Him we find everything. Yes, without His Mercy and Faithfulness that we receive and we live in Him, then (we feel) only harsh obligations (or may be checklist) and even more, the coldness in heart and mind we experience. Live in His love is not to show off our ability, knowledge or virtues (or so to speak, self-esteem). Contrary, the more we come and abide in His love the more we realize our total and ultimate dependence on Him and that He loves us greatly.

He understands us perfectly; that our steps are very weak, but He is very faithfully leading us in the narrow way, bearing our Sign of Victory and Love and easy to please but hardly satisfied until we are truly be like Him (Thanks Romanos, I learn it from you). Amazingly the path is downward. While we keep focusing in Him, feeling ashamed with unworthiness of ours, then He gladly helped us and we freely unload any of our burdens and worries and passions with His mercy, until we find Christ firstly and He is all, longing Him as a deer longing for water. Until we have nothing of ourselves, we hold nothing, we pride of nothing, and even we know nothing but Him, in whom we find everything, Joy, Love, genuineness and overtime, we are not to be dependent of any external circumstances but in Him; we are filled and satisfied with His Goodness to eternity. We then fully devote our very heart, soul, mind and strength, drawn into His Love. We trust this all in His Hands which pierced severely because he so loves us and His Wonderful name resounds in us as rhythm the heartbeat.

Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner!

Breaking News: Bombs in Jakarta (about 20 minutes drive from here )

Lord have mercy! Today for Indonesians is another day of shame and sorrow, because just this breakfast time this morning, the bombs were exploded in Southern part of Jakarta (in JW Marriot Hotel and Ritz Hotel), about 20-30 minutes drive from here (where I live in campus). Shame, because this will be another 'black notion' and will be the remembrance of our (my) country's impediment struggle against extremist terrorists. Sorrow, because we are weeping for the victims, not only those 6 killed souls in location and many more afterward, but also for our Indonesian souls, and also our humanity universally. Lord have mercy!

This same road in the front of these hotels is the same road which we used to pass through whenever my friend Andy and I drove home after the trip mission accompanying Father Daniel. And certainly after this calamity, I with heartfelt pray for my beloved brothers and sisters, for those who became victims of this shameful human tragedy in this fallen world. And thus, I pray the Psalm of Protection, Psalm 91

1. If you live in the shelter of Elyon
And make your home in the shadow of Shaddai,

2. You can say to Yahweh, “My refuge, my fortress,
My God in whom I trust

3. He rescues you from the snares
Of fowler hoping to destroy you;

4. He covers you with his feathers,
And you find shelter underneath his wings.

5. You need not fear the terrors of night,
The arrow that flies in the daytime,

6. The plague that stalks in the dark,
The scourge that wreaks havoc in broad daylight.

7. Though a thousand fall at your side,
Ten thousand at your right hand,
You yourself will remain unscathed,
With His faithfulness for shield and buckler.

8. You have only to look around
To see how the wicked are repaid,

9. You who can say, “Yahweh my refuge,”
And make Elyon your fortress.

10. No disaster can overtake you,
No plague come near your tent;

11. He will put you in His angels’ charge
To guard you wherever you go.

12. They will support you on their hands
In case you hurt your foot against a stone;

13. You will tread on lion and adder,
Trample on savage lions and dragons.

14. “I rescue all who cling to Me,
I protect whoever knows my name,

15. I answer everyone who invokes Me,
I am with them when they are in trouble;

16. I bring them safety and honor.
I give them life, long and full,
And show then how I can save.”
(Jerusalem Bible)

For those who want to read the news about this, click here (Yahoo) or here (USA today) or here (LA Times).
Lord have mercy!

Uncorrupted

This is another reflection from my reading of St. Nektarios' Christology. Honestly, I am illiterate about philosophical world (so don't worry, this will not be 'on sky' thought), and thus, I am a little bit amazed when I was reading a beautiful part of this book which encounters the philosophers' (certain group of French thinkers in18th century-which strove to impose the idea of perfectibility of human beings and later developed the idea of deism) claims. Realizing my ignorant and poor knowledge, but I am very glad with the radiance of Christian faith in its simplicity and beauty and its radiance is beyond the merely made-up thoughts (even may be) of the 'great' philosophers of the world.

The bold red line which I can see from the deceitful teachings of those ideas of cosmism, acosmism, pantheism and any other man-made "-isms", is that the attempt to understand God, Who is our Creator Who is also much bigger than ourselves in the perspective of weak and corruptible of their minds.

His ways is not ours, who can understand His Perfect Way and grasp his Great Wisdom? The attempt to analogize God as humanly passionate one in our fallen state of mind and corruptible thought is certainly dangerous and can create deep pitfall (in case of the philosopher, for example). What is more, to view and to comprehend either Him, or about His relation with His creation or any of His attributes: His Justice and or Holiness, etc. with the reference as if He were like us, to react and to act in certain way like we do. No. It is true that we are the ones who are created in His image, but we are corruptible, but He is uncorrupted, yes, He has had made himself in the very state of ours, except in sin. How could we build the image of Him who are Perfect and Benevolent from our poor and corrupted state? (in sense of who is image of who--), and this means we cannot imagine God as such and such by using human being as a mirror, instead we need His Revelation, The Wisdom from above. He himself is the One Who is able to reveal any truth to us, by any means, through His creation, prophets, and everything in His Benevolence toward us and yes, the highest and greatest ever in the human history by His Incarnation, i.e. by Himself.

And by that, I am amazed to remember How our God in His Benevolence entered to our lowest reality in order to redeem, to restore, to heals and to lift us up, so that we can be like Him, because He loves us and has created us to be with Him in eternity (in Javanese philosophical language: Manungaling kawula [lan] Gusthi--Theosis). I am amazed of Thy Love, O Lord.

Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner!

Harmony and a glance of Joy

Whenever and wherever then I entered a Church and stand there with my simple fellow friends, brother and sister to pray and worship Him Whose Beauty is beyond measurement and description. I simply can't hold my joy and my amazement to be in his temple. Tears dropped and I can not but give thanks to Him for his mercy that He allowed my nation to be granted such Ancient, Beautiful and Childlike faith.















And also, realizing how simple, faithful and struggling the church is, this adds to my heartfelt and contrite yet joyful heart. Lord have mercy. Lord have mercy. Lord have mercy.

(These photos (including photo above) were taken by my friends last month during the pastoral visit of His Eminence Metropolitan Hilarion. How beautiful it is the harmony of local culture and the beauty of the faith and behold, how we, Indonesians are enthusiastically and joyfully celebrate and expect for the truth). Please pray for us, beloved brothers and sisters. If you want to see Indonesian Mission activity, click here.

bear it all with love, with joy and firmness

(Glory to God! For those who have read this posting more than once, you might find little changes and reconstructions. This is the edited version. A very kind friend of me offered me some corrections and I am gladly accepting them. Thank you!)

However arid the desert,
the harsh light of the sun will not be able to wither you
because there will always be springs provided,
yes, even from the hardest Rock the water will flow.

Far more than that because once He said,
“Whosoever drink from Me will not thirst again.”
Glory to Him! And put your trust in Him!

However stony and silent,
the sandy winds howling here and there,
can it overpower His countenance and the ineffable peace which He grants?
*

However painful and harmful the thorns,
the storms and thunders and darkness that assail,
will they not be ashamed before the Ever-Mighty Victor?

*

However wild the current of the river,
His saving arm will vouchsafe us to the other side.
*

Only, my soul, never forget His goodness.
Trust, follow and abide in Him whatever it will take.
Fear not the sword of man
for however sharp and piercing it is,
it is powerless to diminish you,
it will not last long.

*

For death has no eternity,
it is life that has it.
Wherever, whenever, always ask His mercy to heal and cleanse and purify you!
For the Life-Giving Spirit is at your side, everywhere present,
leading you unto Himself, into His Love and into His Life.
*

Glory to You, O God! Glory to You!

monkey the dancer

Christians must arm themselves against the abominations of this world. They must be armed against every attack and against all temptations, so that every evil rebounds from them. Armor is not made in a day, nor in two days but is diligently and laboriously wielded by long-lasting exercise. Of what value is all our virtue if we succumb to the first abomination? Speaking of this, Saint Gregory of Nyssa cites an example with a monkey in Alexandria. He says: "An animal trainer in Alexandria taught a monkey to skillfully impersonate a female dancer on stage. The spectators at the theatre praised the monkey who was dressed as a female dancer and danced to the beat of the music. But while the viewers were occupied observing such a novel spectacle, a comedian wanted to show everyone that a monkey is nothing more than a monkey. While they all shouted and applauded at the skill of the monkey, the comedian tossed sweets on the stage, sweets that monkeys particularly like. As soon as the monkey saw the sweets, he forgot the dance, the applause, the expensive clothing and jumped with his paws for the sweets but as his dress interfered, he began to tear it apart with his nails attempting to remove it. Instead of praise and amazement, laughter commenced among the viewers." For through the torn mask of the "dancer," a monkey was revealed.

(From The Prologue from Ohrid, by St. Nikolai Velimirovich )

The Source of the acts of mercy

Every person has his/her own unique blessing and personality. Even the struggle and the battle they have to face is very specific one, however he/she is not alone in those battle. How great is our God that He knows all things about us in our very being and nothing is hidden before Him.

For me, that specific struggle might be the giving heart. I realize how my financial struggle had given force to me to be concerned and unfortunately for myself. "Yes, it is OK to talk anything, but please don't talk about that matter", I spoke in my heart.

This time, it has been long enough that God has taught me a merciful heart, what is it and how is it and I come to know very poorly and little by little that I don't have any power from my own to do even a single act of mercy. This has to come from the True Source of mercy, God himself to grant me (us) the merciful heart even in a single or small one. However, since God has granted us the freedom in loving Him, it is very necessary to have our will to be trained and submitted freely unto Him.

And merciful God provides us each time and moment the opportunity for this. I see and taste it these weeks, when He miraculously gave (and in fact, everything that He allows me to be with me until now is miraculously given) me according to His will, answering my needs through his beloved servant very abundantly. And unexpectedly, some friends which I have never found asking help of me, they asked. At first, I am a little bit reluctant to act, because this is not mine but His and I fear to be unwise to use what he trusted me. But who am I, that if God want to help them and I resist Him to do it? However, realizing my unwise and naive thought I pray to Him, that may even this little act not done in my poor and corrupted will but according to His will. This is not of mine-- because what is mine? It is absolutely of Him, the source of everything good. Listen this O my weak soul!

Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner!

Behold your Ksatria

Recently, a great friend of me gave me a wonderful book for me to read. This is the book written by St. Nektarios, entitled CHRISTOLOGY. As I scan-read this book once before I read it, I am very moved by the book overview in the back cover, "..., that sincere reader will find it difficult not to confess with enthusiasm that Jesus Christ is the Messiah, the perfect God Who became perfect man." Indeed, it is.

In the first part of this book discussed about How the nations expect the coming of their Savior, and that Jesus Christ is the Perfect Fulfillment for the eternal desires of their Redeemer and of Life. St. Nektarios mentioned some of them, such as Jews, Greeks, Romans, Egyptians, Chinese, Persians, Indians, Arabs, etc.

And after reading this great part, I come to reflect this and yes, even Indonesians, Javanese in this case-- also expect the coming of Messiah. From the ancient traditions which is planted in my heart as a Javanese by my community when I was a child and also those which taught by my parents, I can recall some of the 'philosophy' which depict so clearly the expectation of The Redeemer. Here are some of them:

*Guru swadaya*

(The True Mighty Teacher)
God will teach the people about life, way and truth by Himself and leads them to salvation.
***
*Heru cakra*
(The sphere of The world)
He who is coming will be called Ratu Adil (King of Justice), will deliver his folks from the enemy, slavery and establish his ever-tranquil Kingdom, which is a new heaven and earth (heru cakra).
***
*Hyang kalingga surya*
(A King whose body will be radiant like the Sun)
He is the king who bear light in Himself and will enlighten the people without discrimination. The symbol of the Sun also emphasizes the certainty of His coming just like the sun must be coming in the morning. (and this reminds me to the Transfiguration of The Lord).
***
*Satria (Ksatria) pinandhita sisihan wahyu*
(Holy King who owns the Revelation)
A noble and high King (Ratu Adil) who will Reveal himself to the world and conquer power of darkness (Kala Bendhu).
***
*Satria (Ksatria) mukti wibawa kesandung sampar*
(A King with Great Power, preaches the deliverance and victory but will be betrayed by his own).
***
*Satria (Ksatria) piningit hamong tuwuh*
(Prince of sorrow who bears his people's sorrow)
He will give himself as the ransom of his people. He is Righteous man but will have to suffer from mocks, slanders, and sorrow but after that He will hide Himself in gadang-gadang (high place) and will be with his people and deliver them from danger [secretly].
***

Those are some of the teachings which very common among Javanese communities which compose 62% of country's population, for me as well. They're spoken or even written and chanted in Old Javanese, derived from Sanskrit. Javanese desire for truth, wisdom and the way of life. These ancient teachings are delivered to us from mouth to mouth for hundreds of years through symbolic languages and so strong implanted in our hearts, even after the colonialism and the entering of far religions. And amazingly, I found the perfection of these teachings in the Holy Scripture, icon of Him, The Christ!
My beloved brothers and sisters in flesh and blood, O Javanese and Indonesians, behold your Ksatria, True, Wise and Bright King, Lord Jesus Christ!

Please pray for us, my readers :)!

NB: If you would like to here the traditional music of Java (in Old Javanese as I told you above), you can download here and here:). Again, in my joy, I would like to invite for those who can read Romanian, Father Dorin in Romania has translated it in to Romanian, click here.

Glory to You O God, Glory to You!

from an unwanted one

I looked upon myself in the mirror. O, how plain and undesirable, there is nothing interesting about me. I am just a sinner who force the earth so that she has to give up a space for a rubbish like me.

Yet, I find myself smiles. This one is the smile of ignorance and naive-ness. It smiles because I do know nothing either about myself or about this world. This world and even this life is too big and too mysterious for me. Illiterate, blind, lost and poor that what I am. I am nothing but dust and ashes.

A beggar, yes a beggar is what can describe me best. I am like him who sits on the ground, powerlessly and yet still hoping for mercy from The Benefactor and His beloved ones. Because I realize that I have no defense, no power and have no understanding and fool.

Lord, O Lord, Why is it that You so love me and care for me? I am but dust and ashes, unwanted and nothing. If you want, just like my earthly father you could simply forget and abandon me, remember me no more. Because yes, it is true that there is nothing desirable in me. How poor, ignorant and unworthy I am, Lord. It is very reasonable for you to simply slap me and kick me whenever I am naughty. I deserve for any pains.

But you forget me not, a broken pot, O Lord. Instead, with tears and blood and sweat you look so deeply to my weak, sleepy eyes and stretch your hand to my dirty ones. But Lord, I am so unworthy to touch You, cleanse me. I need your mercy every time O Lord and without it I can not live. These days are from You, Lord. How quick my days will be and this world remember me no more. Yet You are so faithful! I can't understand it, truly, I simply taste and see it and tell it very inadequately. And now, knowing that I am a broken pot in Thy Hand, I feel safe O Lord, I am yours among yours.

Lord have mercy. Lord have mercy. Lord have mercy.

searching for....

Some day ago, exactly on Friday I got on the Angkot (see picture)-the local public transportation- to go to the post office. It was not really my surprise to read the brochure posted in its door, and sounds very familiar here. However in that time I tried to focus on reading it through to get the message. I am trying to translate it to you what it says in Bahasa to English (as much as I remember).

"Mr. X , a well known spiritualist, able to solve any of your problems. If you want to be healed, prosper, beautiful, get success in any of your works, you find the correct person. The process will not be long, just need one to two hours to transfer the power [ilmu in Bahasa]. Note: the patient must be above 11 years old. Please contact for reservation and appointment. Contact: +628XXXXXXX."

Can you imagine it? It is in the public places where people will easily access and follow up. This kind of messages will be easily found wherever in my country, and very often in the local newpapers. Traditional people who I meet and know still believe so much in this things.
And once again, that made me contemplate.

O humans, how hungry and thirsty are you
You seek, you weep and you well up
Just right after the fall, O Adam
You lost the priceless treasure you have
What a lament you bring within you, O sons and grandsons

In tears and sweat, in turmoil and drought
seeking your food among the thorns
pain, pain, pain everywhere you meet
even in the sweetest honey and brightest sun you meet them there: hunger and thirst

where do they drive you, O sons and daughters?
you have that hunger and hurriedly satisfy it
you even search for yourself in deceitfulness of this darkness
or even in some kind of spiritual bliss you make up, the temporary comfort zones

Love, love!
Love conquers, Love fears not
He heals, he restores
Love has entered this world,
he is mighty and does never tire

He is the source of the genuineness
He transforms the bestial thirst into the compassion
He tramples down the carnal desires into the sacred hunger of Love

Love, love!
Comes in the true man and true God, in Christ
Love in Triune, from eternity to eternity
Come ye all nations and people, O Adam's race
Let The King of Glory in

Comfort is in the hands of Him
and of course our hearts yearns for such comfort (Sergei wrote)

Seek ye first His Kingdom
and this will belong to you
Whatever, wherever it brings

-Yudhie

Lord Jesus Christ, the son of God, have mercy on me a sinner!

tea and friendship - a glance of simplicity

One thing you will easily learn, if you visit the peasants community in Indonesia is that tea is very popular here. This is especially when you come to the 'real Indonesia', I mean, not the made up ones for tourists. I don't really know the history of this plant in my country (and may be I'll check it if I have spare time), but what I know is that since I was a child (even a baby?!), if I went to the events or festivals (in Sumatra island) I will find this easily: tea.

And amazingly, it is also true in almost every islands in Indonesia. When I was in Jogja, if I go to the 'street restaurants', there I will get tea. In West Java, the tea without sugar will be given freely as a drink in the fast food restaurants. In Lombok and Sumbawa islands, when I visit my friend's or teacher's house, whether in usual days or in Holiday, there it was: tea.

Oops, anyway, I don't want to sell tea here ;P. What moved me to write this little thing is actually what happened yesterday. When we were together sat down in our tables in the evening, while I helped Daniel with his Mathematics stuffs, Leo kindly offered us tea to be enjoyed with the biscuit (or vice versa). And we took break for a while to talked and enjoyed time together with tea and biscuit.

What I learn from this is that sometimes a little and simple thing can bring us together. Joy is not necessarily complicated and sophisticate. How peace are the simple minded, because sometimes they do things out of sincerity, including in prayer. Because many a times, some will try to intellectualize; to understand God before they love Him, but for some others They love God in simplicity and the other parts of the latter's spiritual life, including the understanding moved by it over time.

God knows us so perfectly, nothing is hidden before Him and thus no masks needed before Him. It is so beautiful to come to him like a child, a little young boy and give thanks for His Grace and Mercy that He reveals Himself to us in perfect Love. Lord, behold, I am Thy poor, lost and unworthy servant, heal me!

Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner!

Beautiful sayings of Elder Paisios

Everyday, every time

Glory to God for granting me, his unworthy servant a new day. This day is very calm, sun shining very brightly here and I can see my beloved friends in the dorm very healthy and cheerful. After getting my breakfast, I am ready to go to work. And these are profound sayings and instructions for our Holy Fathers which God allows me to learn this morning:

"The true Christian tests himself every day. Daily testing to see whether we have become better or worse, is so essential for us that without it we cannot be called Christians. Constantly and persistently we must take ourselves in hand. Do this: from morning establish thoughts about the Lord firmly in your mind and then during the whole day resist any deviation from these thoughts. Whatever you are doing, with whomever you are speaking, whether you are going somewhere or sitting, let your mind be with the Lord. You will forget yourself, and stray from this path; but again turn to the Lord and rebuke yourself with sorrow, This is podvig of spiritual attentiveness" Bishop Theophan the Recluse.

"Everyday, hour, and minute, keep a strict watch and consider every thought, desire, or movement of the heart, every word and deed, knowing that the Lord is the Righteous Judge who is judging you every instant and is evaluating the inner man. Continually keep yourself pure for God" St. John of Kronstadt

"If you can not be merciful, at least speak as though you are a sinner. If you are not a peacemaker, at least do not be a troublemaker. If you cannot be assiduous, at least in your thought be unlike a sluggard. If you are not victorious, do not exalt yourself over the vanquished. If you cannot close the mouth of a man who disparages his companion, at least refrain from joining him in this". St. Isaac of Syria, from word from the desert blog

Glory to Thee O Lord, grant me, Thy unworthy servant the obedience to Thy commands and Holy will, because You are my God.

Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God, have mercy one me a sinner!

Morning Prayer of the Optina Elders

O Lord, grant me to meet everything that this coming day may bring me with spiritual peace.* Grant me to surrender myself gladly to Thy holy will.* In every hour of this day, support me in all my undertakings.* Teach me to accept whatever news I may receive in the course of the day with peace of soul and with the firm conviction that Thy holy will is in all things.* In all my words and actions, direct my thoughts, feelings, and senses.* In all unforeseen events grant me not to forget that everything is sent by Thee.* Teach me to act sincerely and reasonably with everyone I meet, that none may be disturbed or embittered.* O Lord, give me the strength to bear the fatigue of the coming day and all that may happen in the course of the day.*Guide my will, and teach me to pray, to believe, to hope, to suffer, to forgive and to love. Amen.
(from morning offering blog)

A piece of love from Romania :) [thanks as well to visitors around the globe]

Today is a unique and special one, by His mercy he allows me to meet his loving servants; new friends and fellow pilgrims from around the world through this media. Yet, it has been a blessing for me, even if we don't meet physically but God in his wonderful power has made our encounters possible, at least through blog.

As part of my enthusiasm to learn more and more of Holy Orthodox faith, I am brought to the new beautiful things, I have never imagined nor dreamed before, that is to see how faithful share one Hope and Faith and Love one another, regardless the cultures or languages or geography. This is truly beautiful. This time, especially very surprising for me.

I am really touched when read one of Father Dorin's posting (in his blog, Teologie pentru azi [Theology for today]) entitled: Nestiinta si Dumnezeu, in English: Ignorance and God, especially in when he wrote "Sunt un om nestiutor, in ciuda faptului ca postez in scris informatii despre tot felul de lucuri.(I am an illiterate man, despite the fact the posts written about all sorts of things). This is edifying me personally, reminds me of how should I conduct my thought in reverence of God while writing this humble blog. Another part which I also shared with Romanos this morning and he wrote it very profoundly, Scriptura ne spune ca adevarata noastra viata este ascunsa cu Hristos in Dumnezeu ( vezi Coloseni).. Scripture tells us that our true life is hidden with Christ in God (see Colossians). How great it is!

I am also amazed of their kindness and generousity toward their humble brother from foreign country of Indonesia, that they (Romanian brothers and sisters) encourage and support me in Love.

Lord, today Thou hast made me amazed with the marvelous power of Your love which unites and draws many people from different side of the world with one common language: the language of Your Love! I appreciate also for those who are in America and all countries which flags are shown in the flag counter. Thank you :) for visiting a blog written by an illiterate :)

Glory to Thee O God, Glory to Thee!