Pain which has no name

I always appreciate time to remain silent and to simply ponder on life. These past few years has been very amazing for me to pass through. Although I cannot deny that everytime the noises of the world cease behind me and thus I am forced to face the world silence, I feel that pain which I cannot describe. There is kind of sadness, sorrow and isolated feeling which leave me there to ponder.

Yes, we shall never be satisfied with temporary entertainment and comfort. Each and every moment struggle rises and we need to keep our eyes widely open. I am thankful thus for at least these two reasons: that every pain is temporary, since Love conquers all and that this life is not about my feeling about it. Because otherwise, a person like me would be sinking into the abbys of gloomy days.

I would call this feeling a pain which no name. This is strange but I simply happen to feel it. It's like that void and emptiness inside which no matter what happen to me, it's there, waiting and yearning. And I dunno if that would ever be filled: may be someday.

I don't understand mostly what happens around me and what that even means. What I know is that I live a certain life and certain expectations, may be with certain dreams. My faith is so too very small to make sense of this life, if I have faith at all. Yet, somehow I know I have to keep alive.

Sometimes when I reflect how every person craving for beauty and happiness: the more they run after it, the further it flies away. Mankind from age to age cannot get rid of their fantasy and dream on beauty and virtues, yet so many times they blur it with utter ugliness. Drunkeness overlaps merry, folishness overshaddow the hope of freedom. And on and on.

Toiling and spoiling... Do I hope to understand? May be not. I leave it alone. I don't deserve this knowledge, since that seed cannot grow on my dry and rocky soil. I just want to live this life as it is.