Squeeze

Not giving up the best is away faster and easier for the one who wish quick gratification. But, unfortunately, this is not the path into holiness. The path of holiness consist in the totality of our strength, love, heart and mind being attached and obsessed with God. And as usual, when it is about denying our old-self, it is not easy process.
In this manner, I am pondering the word 'squeeze' which I really love. It sounds like when we want to extract the best from a flower or fruit, we squeeze it until the sweetest (or at least the strongest) essence of these herbs comes out. Again, I can see the examples of many of our Saints both in the Scriptures and afterward living such a life which softly but inevitably tell us,


Just like a fruit sweet and tender
or flower in fragrant robe 
They are squeezed 
and yet
glowing brighter
reserving all the best
for the Master

When I bring this reflection upon myself, I realize that how far I am from those God-pleasing persons. I still let all those spacious spots in my life untended, or rather half-hearted tended. Those who really loves God has great desires and energy for God and that always amazes the world from time to time.

Enthusiasm for the Lord and for His Kingdom! How beautiful and desirable. All His righteous prophets and beloved people always has this with them. That's why a humble faith moves the mountain, for they live by the love toward the Lord of all. And for My sheep knows My voice and they joyfully run after this.

How lovely it is, when in the grace of God we carefully keep our obedience and diligently tend it just like a simple gardener tend his beloved plants. It might seem so simple and quiet, but it doesn't matter how wide is the land, but how much careful attention and love we pour out on that simple thing and eventually we are enabled to be faithful in little matters. 

Thus we will work anything which is entrusted to us whole-heartedly, beautifully and with full of energy and enthusiasm knowing that this is a providence from God to sanctify us!
Taste and see How good the Lord is!

Ready for anything

Waking up this morning, I felt something which was so strong but brought such calm breeze into my mind. I am so grateful for this sweetness, although I don't expect it to happen everytime. It is a feeling which we Indonesians call 'semangat' which is a word a little bit hard to translate in English, and when I look up, it sounds like 'enthusiasm'. This is a great one to start a day --- hmm infact a quite challenging day when we need to finish up the semester and preparing all the stuff for student's final exam.

But I really love the spirit which this mysterious feeling bore. That is the willingness to bear whatever comes. It is like wisphering, "ready for anything: for the fatigue, for the blame, for the joy , for the sorrow, for laughters, for the tears. Yes, ready to welcome whatever comes because of the belief that God is good and merciful. He will grant us what is beneficial for our salvation."

It is Christ who sustains our life. And He has shown us how joyful a man can be when he totally cling into Father's will. By saying joyful ofcourse it doesn't necessarily refer to external enjoyment, or even emotional comfort. It is beyond that, it is indescribable peace which God gives deep inside our heart.

When I observe, in my weakness sometimes it is easy for me to wander and seek artificial emotional relief and shortcut for such a sanctifying obedience which The Lord has mercifully granted me. That is the time when I start to not only say, 'It seems too heavy for me' (it's so humane) but also try to flee from it through procastination, etc. Lord, have mercy!

Yes, many times the obedience which we need to face seems to be irrational, exhausting or even unpleasant. But one thing is so sure that it is pure blessing from the Lord who always desires our salvation and return to Him. And we can still be joyful, when our mind is flooded with the rememberance of the Lord and it is as if we forget our burden. What we bear is Christ's yoke, which is light.

If we are in Christ, we are ready for anything good, pure and God-pleasing. It is because no longer I but Christ who lives in me. Glory to You, O God! Glory to You!

Cultivate the small beauty

I have special admiration toward a person who can take almost useless things, i.e. things which look  cannot be improved and easier to just be abandoned, yet he or she treated it in such a way that it looks so beautiful and valuable.

When I think of this, what comes into my minds are the monastics who turn the deserts and places which are so often unfavorable to the world, yet with their loving and God-trusting hands, they turn   the surrounding becomes such splendid places not only outwardly but they also imbue the inner beauty even to the space in which they live to constantly praise and adore Christ. 

That always amazed me! When God pours out His grace to His beloved men and women, there always be the radiating beauty, the spreading fragrance. Somehow it reminds me of the story of Abraham whom in his humility and trust in God let his nephew Lot to choose the best for himself and accept whatever left out of it as a blessing for the Lord. Intriguing to see how the Lord pleased and indeed bless him.

True Christians from time to time have to deal with terrible time of persecution externally. It is their clinging to the God of Beauty, Creator and Giver of Everything Good which sustains them and enables them to declare and witness the unwavering truth and to glow such beauty of the Lord reflected on them. Not only externally, internally every Christian is at war with passions and deformation of innate beauty which the Lord bestows from the beginning. It surely takes such mysterious synergy of the grace of the Lord and totality of the love from the person toward the Lord for the transformation to take place.

Now, it's clear to me that it is the disposition of the heart which forms our inner life and that inner life shapes and transform our surrounding. Because love and inner peace transmit and sanctifies the ones who gaze upon it. It is a way better to have rather little materials sufficiently  filled with love, care and diligence rather than seeking and wanting for more but at the cost our soul becomes so burdened and whitered away. 

In the struggle with the passions, many times we prefer things rather than God. Achievements, acknowledgements, sudden urge of gratifications really tempts us and readily grasps our attention.

O Lord, Merciful Lord, look now upon the weakness and powerless of Thy servant! How as the deer pants for the water we thirst of You. Lord, save us from our passions. Transform us in Your Love and Beauty so that this small flame of love that we have for You can be brightened and sustained amidst the attacks of the arrows of pernicious passions. Be Thou our vision, our refuge and our defender O Lord for this heart of ours is Yours! Amen! 

Remember...

Thank you for the birthday greetings which you my dearest friends send me. I really appreciate it and wish all the best for you too. It seems that I have laid aside this blog for quite a time and now I miss it so much.

Life has been very good so far and I am very grateful to Christ, our Merciful Lord who has been so faithfully guiding and sustaining all in His Good Will. Going through the days and events in life, it makes even clearer that His love and care is unshakable. 

At the moment I am writing now, I am in Palembang city, South Sumatera. I have been placed here    some five months ago and it is likely I will be here for at least one another year for work reason. Living in this city has been such an experience; meeting new people, culture and challenges. But as I said, it is quite friendly life that I have here and that makes me smile often. 

I don't know why, today is a little bit 'different' in the sense that I got a handful feedbacks on little things which rather... hmm... unfamiliar and criticism in nature. Well, thanks for that. At least it helps me to see how far I am from perfection and that I need to be willingly accept so-called feedbacks and to learn things which are true but somehow... hurts. Funny, because they are not big matters but yes, I can learn a deeper thoughts from them. So very grateful!

One among poignant comments which I received sounds like, "You are such a perfectionist like when I was young." Hmm thanks for letting me know. Interesting. Lord, have mercy and help me to be as You will. And yes, I admit, still struggle with it. But realizing that I cannot save myself, rather it is God's abundant mercy and strength which leads me to the pasture land, I am so much comforted. Lord, may Your love alone covers me and guides me to the love and perfection which You deign. Only grant me Lord, to act wisely; to listen wisely and to respond wisely to the circumstances which comes so that Your Will might be done in every single breath of Your humble servant. 

Deep inside my heart, I am so thankful because Christ has filled everything with joy! And as Christians, what can add to the joy of knowing Him, the Only Begotten Son in Whom God the Father well pleased. The fact that He reveals the Way, Truth and Life is such a trembling mystery and what we need to do is to  partake into His life by love and obedience toward His commandments. 

Now I come to realize that God is ever good Lord. When He allows us to face different kind of situations, it is so that we might remember Him more and more. Because He knows that it is He Himself who can fill us with the truest peace and joy which we ever crave. And it is in gazing His Glorious beauty then we are healed and come to life! Glory to You, O God!

Yet, I know life is also a fierce battle.... of denying our old-self, fallen and corrupted one. Trampling down the ego can be such a squeezing experience. What can be our comfort but to know that our Hope and Refuge is Him who has come and trampling down death by His death. He shows the way to the Father.... the way of total love and obedience to the Father. That joy, that consolation which the world cannot offer is the fire which blazing in the saints. Let it be O Lord, that Your Good Will sanctifies us and leads us to You. Amen...