Get involved

As Orthodox Christian, embracing such ancient and rich faith, I live among friends and beloved companions who are hardly ever in touch with it. Trying to be as moderate as possible, as not to 'do prayers before man' alias too catchy, sometimes it makes me pray in my heart, "Lord, may I be a good witness for Your Beauty." You know as an Orthodox, we make our faith so tangible: icons, prayer books, prayer ropes, fasting and all those wonderful means provided by Holy Church to really engage our faith in practical and direct way. But of course, giving them too much will make them feel awkward. However,  if they know us personally and we get involved with them as a real person (that is our honest thoughts and struggles as they know it), that will be  slightly different case.

In living the spiritual life, in the willingness to working out the prayer routines and all spiritual exercises, my mind comes across a reflection centered on love; and how it relates to what can look like 'ritualistic' piety.

First and foremost foundation and the pinnacle of our action should be love. These exercises which are inevitably seen by friends and may be people around us are certainly not a show. It simply is our humble expressions to acknowledge Christ and that we are belong to Him: the sign of the cross in public, wearing scarf for women, or wearing crucifix and such are the examples of this. Bearing this in mind, we know and even constantly reminded that we 'bear' that cross --not for nothing-- but to love, just like Christ does. Those holy objects and signs pierce our souls with a blessing and command to love, and not to become showy. Here is the difference: the desire to be showy makes people uneasy and judged -- while the desire to love and to bear witness makes them sense that Christ is in us and with us. But never mind about what other think of us, because everything is in God's providence, and let us simply trust in Him who put a veil before us in his mercy before others, so that we can be what He desires in relation to others. An this thought really assures and encourage me to be constantly wise to put on those beautiful signs as I live in Indonesia, Sumatera to be exact, where Christians are just very small minority.

Another implication of our spiritual exercises as 'not a show-off' is that we are willing to act beyond that. In one Orthodox movie that reminds me about this, there are two faithful being described. One is a faithful boy who lives with his depressed and alcoholic father but has such sincere faith and treats just anyone with love. The other one, a lady being very ardent in the ritualistic piety, failed to show the very love being trained in those practices of prayers. She became kind of rude and judgmental.

It's beautiful though that this film shows that God loves both of these faithful. He rebuked her in a vision, showing her how she failed to love God through others. While at the same time, without realizing it, the boy has done commandments of Christ of loving and mercy.

Yes, we feed our souls on prayers and spiritual exercises, but let this not be the end of itself. Just like my beloved Dad always tell me beautifully, "Keep say Yes to the Lord...." means that He sends us along the way of our lives people whom God wants us to love, no matter who they are. Be kind and loving in every way possible. By then, they know for sure that we are not being pharisaic and our faith is genuine, to the glory of the Father.

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on us!    
 

Open up to Beauty

As hard as life can be, in the deepest thing, The Ultimate of Beauty of Creator shines forth. Yes, even when we cannot cover our eyes and ears to the news of suffering and death --the result of sin, but still that doesn't stop beauty to manifest beyond understanding. Whetever might happen, we do believe that God's will governs all and He is the greatest inspiration of beauty.

Knowing that He is in the centre of reality transforms and fortifies our minds. We trust that it is His love and amazing providence will sustain us so beautifully in the midst of struggle and fierce battle toward that Beauty. It gives us assurance that in the hands of the Lord, everything is transformed into his likeness.

I keep repeating this favorite short paraphrased quote to 'abandon Yourself to God'... by Mother Gavrilia which I love so much. Because how true and beautiful it is. But I need to be honest here, that I am so far from this kind of trust that she has. I really want to, but due to my own weaknesses, sometimes I doubted and hold myself back in some circumstances.

Thinking of this, I realize that the struggle of denying oneself makes so much sense. How I need to just open up myself, that is my whole self to accept God's lead to anywhere He deigns. The deeper I think, it has much beauty in it. He actually trains us, trains us to be more open, to be more receptive of Beauty through anything that comes our way. Trampling down the comfort zone (that is our own version of comfort and little kingdom of favouritism), He transforms it into the real and everlasting one. It is just like a beautiful seed which will stay that way, insignificant and unchanged when stored in storeroom. It needs to be 'burried and destroyed' and then it will come forth, grow and bear fruits.

So, let us upen up. Keep saying yes to the Lord as he trains us to be more perceptive of His Beauty. :)

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