Keywords for decision

Minute after minute things happen and when they confront us in a very personal way, we then need to respond. In simplest sense, we are given choices of what kind of attitudes, actions or even thought we have about it. With what and how we respond in a critical moment, this directly relates to our disposition of the heart. And when reflecting on this, the beautiful Words from the Lord comes to my mind, "Do not be anxious...", and how many times both in Old and New Testament, the acclamation from the Lord which tells, "Do not afraid." constantly be heard from time to time. In this words, the assurance that God will be with us and a call to trust Him in every moment of life made apparent.

Thus, it leads me to ponder on what is the foundation of our decision from time to time? Is it happiness? Is it our success? Is it momentarily satisfaction and gratification? Is it the escape from the troubles or conflict? During the Holy Week and Holy Pascha, it so strongly impressed me how Christ's willingness to fulfill every little detail of The Father's will becomes the very core of Christ's work on earth. And it strikes me at the face remembering how I am easy to fall and fail miserably in imitating Loving Christ. I am in constant need of His mercy and guidance.

Now I realize, even in the simplest matter which includes, "It is spare time now. Shall I mingle with computer screen, killing the time by looking for entertainment and junks? Or I'd rather use this precious time to pray and think of people which might need help?" and "So and so is the due date. Shall I postpone it to find better mood and energy to work on it or will I try my best to sincerely start work on it right here and now?", I still need to learn.  For me personally, I am struggling with this very simple issue.

Then, I was reminded of how our Righteous Forefather Abraham responded to the Lord. He acted faithfully and with great responsibility following the Lord's directions. And of how Joseph, in no matter what circumstances-- he fears the Lord and works out his humble part faithfully. And the list goes on and on. Somehow the red thread can be seen: they accept it and work it out obediently. In short, I realize that it is neither pleasure nor anxiety nor pain nor gain which can be made into solid foundation for our decision; lest we build a house on the sand.

But when The Good Lord bless us from time to time with so much mercy and opportunity to obey His commandments, let us respond to Him faithfully, responsibly. It is just like we are given the talents, which is His grace and the life to us. We need to work it out. Thus, it is clear, anytime we make decision, we shall ask, "Is this decision comes out of my Love toward God and my longing to fulfill my responsibility or merely out of my craving for love and instant gratification by foreign ways?" Lord, have mercy on me a sinner.

Glory to God! Christ is risen!

What shall I ask...

Dearest Loving Lord
In awe have I stood before Thee
Speechless have I been
In the presence of Thy mercy and beauty

For Thy love is so strong and invicible
Even death has no power in the presence of Thy Love
What shall I ask, what shall I seek
For in Thee my heart finds rest

Thy humble servant realizes
That I have done nothing good before Thee
O Good Lord, what shall I say
Since everything is laid bare before Thy pure eyes

Thus, this is what I implore
In every second of my earthly life:

Implant in me the goodness
Since I have nothing good from my own
Implant in me the beauty
Since You are the Source of All Beauty
And let Thy beauty made known through my working hands
Implant in me Thy wisdom
That I might choose Thy commandments above anything else
Implant in me faith
So that I may be always with Thee, Master and pleasing Thee
Implant in me Thy Will....
That Thy Will be done on earth
As it is in heaven

Amen.