1st day of teaching block: excited!

Today is the very first day of this teaching block season and for me this has been the second time to be in classrooms to teach the students mathematics. I met my mentor, Miss Yanti and arranged some appointments, schedules and some materials (I find this is very exciting to be a teacher so far)
When I met Miss Yanti, she was teaching grade 12 students about Social Arithmetic i.e. the algebra of costs. It is a pretty little class with some Chinese, Indonesian and mixed blood students (there are 6-7 students in a class), and my mentor is a very good teacher. She told me that she patiently rehearse the material until the students quite understand about the topic. In other words, she emphasize more on the mastery of learning rather than the covery of certain chapter, that is to make sure that the students understand instead of to cover a range of chapter x until chapter y.

And by the way, I would like to share my 'adventure' during my teaching experience with you through this blog, my beloved readers! I need always your prayers for strength, patience and love not only to teach but also to touch their lives through little things and in their learning so that they might come to glorify The Lord, and I believe you have been. However, realizing that I also have to make and keep a more academic reflective journal as a report of this practicum then I use this blog to express very simply what is in my mind and thus keeping this to be ethical.

I'll meet with my next mentor Ms Tisa soon! See you then!

Bogor, Buitenzorg: That starts again!

I remember last year I was in the teaching field experience week when I started this "heart beat" blog. It is here in SPH (Sekolah Pelita Harapan [transliteration in English: Light and Hope School]) Bukit Sentul, Bogor, West Java, Indonesia that I wrote my very first English writing in blog!

I always love to be among teens (although me myself is not really older than them) and helps them to learn Math, Language or even any Social Science. This occassion, I am given the opportunity to teach Grade 7 students Math and Language(Bahasa Indonesia) for three weeks under the guidance of my mentors: Ibu (Indonesian word for Ms ) Tisa and Ibu Yanti. For me personally, this has been the second time for me to be in this multicultural school and live with them in their dormitory.

This school is built in 1994 and uses the ib curriculum. The students here are from various nationalities, i.e. Thailand, The Philipines, Singapore, Korea, USA, etc. Thus, it will be challenging for me to communicate and teach them about local language to them so that they would be advanced in using the language. But, I am not quite sure if I will teach the mixed local-expatriate class or for local students only! But definitely it is very exciting!

Lord, have mercy! Glory to Thee for Thy Providence and Gracious helps for me. Let Thy will be done! May Thou help me to learn to love Thee always and love the students which Thou hast alloweth me to meet with, bless them O Lord! Amen.

long Wednesday!

There is no other day like Wednesday this semester. This day is the day of four classes all at once from 7 am to 7 pm with little break at lunch time (12 - 02 pm). Living under scholarships by God's providence through the sponsor is a very good opportunity for me personally. And one thing that I always praise the Lord especially is that this provides me such rich chances to be obedient and to learn to obedience under authorized leader. The schedule is one of them, thus I am recommended highly to follow each procedures and sets of courses which are available.

However, it is also not always easy to live under high expectation of an institution or sponsor. It needs commitment, perseverance and patience and even sometimes watchfulness for what we are doing. Indeed it is challenging and yet so interesting. And knowing that there are in many parts of that expectation is meant to be good for us, I am very encouraged to do my part as my responsibility toward Gracious Lord and my supporters. And realizing this, I ask for His mercy, because He is the source of all and Who faithfully strengthen and guide me, not so that I would be 'happy all the time' like what the world offers, but He always strengthens and guards me to follow Him and 'do what you see Him doing in you', because I really need His mercy always and always to work each reflective journal, portfolio, caring a friend and even to draw a single breath to glorify Him!

Yes, it is a long day and somehow can be a tiring one. And I surrender this unto Him the Master of all Who fills all things with Joy, because He has come down to our lowest reality, so humble and perfect and has delivered us from bondage of the enemy. He is the Victor beyond all the toils, troubles and sorrows and only in Him we will come to the Father. What a Joy it is that He reveals Himself to be Immanuel who accept and greatly loves us and pitch His tent among us and invite us to participate into His life! O, how amazing this news is really for an unworthy one like me! Lord, have mercy!

Now, Lord I plea unto Thee, cleanse my heart and grant me strength to follow Thee faithfully. Because Thou hast perfectly faithful unto Thy unworthy servant, grant me also O Lord that I might be faithful and without grumbling do what Thou hast entrusted to me. Behold Lord, my feeble hands, may Thou sustain and preserve me. Teach me to love Thee with all my life! Be mindful O Lord for those who has been so gracious and loving me sincerely and forgive and save those who do wrong to me! Let all days be Thy days of Glory! Amen.

love you more

Lord,
it is narrow... perfectly as narrow as Thou hast said
but it is so beautiful!
it is narrow and persuades me to be fixed unto Thee
Who is The Way
It is through this narrowness that Thou pull me to Thy Love!

It's suffering,
but it's full of Joy!
it is so amazing that through every single tear Thou teach me,
Thou teach us to love Thee!

Not me, but Thou Who have loved me so greatly
and even until now Thou alloweth all things in my days
to let me learn to love Thee!
To Love Thee with all my heart and with all my soul
and with all my mind and with all my strength

Yes, all!

Yet, Lord, whenever Thou asketh me
"Do you love me?"
I can't say a word but weep
"What can I say, Lord, Thou knowest all my unworthiness. Yes Lord, I love you!"
Forgive me my poor and unworthy love
Grant me to love Thee with all.
So, even when my enemies slaughter me, I would say: I love my Master because He has so greatly loved me!

Lord have mercy. Lord have mercy. Lord have mercy.
Through the prayers of Thy Most Beloved Mother and all the saints, have mercy on us!

fear not, my little one

Just this morning while I was getting ready for the class in my room, Daniel and Suryo and also myself watched a news TV which was broadcasting an editorial about terrorism in Indonesia. I was not really watching it, simply look and listen a little bit what the broadcaster read. Oh, terrorism in the world! I don't know what to say about that simply realized that as long as we breath through nostrils, we live in a corrupted world where people have their battles either physically or spiritually at any moment. The desire of certain extremist religious group to 'conquer' this country under them since the very first day of Independence has been a prolonged wound and the feeling of not safe.

As a little kid, I could hardly feel 'safe'. Because I was used to live separately from my Dad, I was being a apprehensive person and sometimes being self-protective. It's only because Lord's mercy that eventually I grew and grew and be what I am-- still so unworthy and nothing, but His faithfulness is always there! I admit that the past has its influence on how I am doing now, but is it necessary to blame what was behind us for making us such and such? It does somewhat influence me (us), but it should not control me(us)! In Him we are free: free to get closer and love Him and our brothers and sisters and also free from the intimidation of fear.

Now that I am just part of very little flock living in this 'wilderness', I can not depend on my own self-confidence to conditioning my mind and my own strength(if I have), will fail me. It is only on Him who said: "To you my friends I say: Do not be afraid of those who kill the body and after that can do no more..." (Luke 12:4 JB) If He who has Life , the Lord Himself said that, won't we rejoice and heed Him and trust His Word?

Nothing will touch us without His consideration and wisdom! He loves His own so greatly. He preserves and strengthens, saying: "Have no fear, Jacob my son, my little Israel" (Isaiah 41:14 LXX). Have no fear: for I have delivered you, I have called you by my Name; you are Mine. If you pass through water, I shall be with you and the rivers will not drown you. If you go through fire, you will not be burnt, and the flames will not consume you. For I am the Holy One of Israel, Who saves you (Isaiah 43:1-3 LXX).

Lord, once again Your love trembles me! Behold Thy unworthy servant is so powerless, have mercy on me O Lord! For to be content and safe in you is not the fruit my conditioning of mind, but Thou allow me to consciously behold Thy mercy. I tell myself the story of your marvelous deeds (Ps. 145:5 JB)! Amen!

Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner!

Filling the hearts and minds with thanksgiving

As usual, the mid-time of this semester is just like the peak of the curve during the study cycle. A list of homework, papers, assignments and some other things need to be done before the teaching block which begin next month is waiting me. What a week then! Lord, have mercy. I trust in your kindness and faithfulness to deal with this all, forgive me my lethargy.

And this time, I want to try to get out of the crumple hours and silence my mind. It is always good and sweet to give thanks to Our Mighty and Good Lord in everything and every time, and yes, even now. He is so great and faithful and I fall in love with the Psalm I read last night, Psalms for 28th day: Psalm 132-138 expressing this all in a beautiful way! And I realize that in my weakness and limit, somehow I didn't recognize the mercy and helps from the Lord which are so abundant and rich in every single breath of mine and even much more than my hairs. Lord, have mercy on Thy servant!

The world and our passions tempted us to dominate over anything and to fulfill its desires. And unfortunately even in the slightest amount, this can be great block for us to response His Loving Hands. We see how people crave for popularity, prosperity and many things. When something has been given him even in a great manner, yet man is tempted to look for a higher one and forgetting what he has been granted for. This reminds me to the story of ten lepers with only one Samaritan who came back to glorify the Lord and to give Him heartfelt and joyful thanks.

Only in Him is our true blessedness, rest and shelter, that is our happiness! Awesome and Trembling is His Power and Love. There are at least two choice to respond to it and I would like to borrow C.S Lewis' terms for this, to look at Him and His love at a distance and say, 'well, yes that's beautiful, but what is that for me, I have my own business...' or to look along Him and His Wonder, which means giving up our whole being or to abandon ourselves to Him and His Love because its Beauty and Bliss captivate our hearts and souls and minds and strength and move us to love Him, Our Lord God and entering His Holy Body.

O happiness, the more man pursues you with their own way, the more you flee from him; but you pursue those who are thirsty and hungry for Lord's righteousness to be their rewards from on high!

Therefore, it is always good to praise and give thanks to the Lord every moment and together with St. John Chrysostom and our Holy Mothers and Fathers and all the saints proclaim: Glory to God for all things!

Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner!

Coconut leaves

Javanese, just like Balinese are familiar with the arts and handicraft from the coconuts (Cocos Nucifera). We make use of this palm-kind plant maximally :p. Yes, it is literally useful for us, or at least for my neighbors in my village. We use its root for herbal medicines, the tree for the logs to build the houses, its midrib we use as logs or fire woods, the leaves for the brooms, and many more.

I got a chance in last holiday occasion to help my neighbor to make a kind of 'plate' or basket from the coconut leaves. In the ancient times (and even until now), this kind of plate was used by Javanese families to serve some foods namely Jenang (sweets made from Javanese sugar and black sticky rice), Sego Gurih (Spicy Rice), etc. And in this time the baskets we made were for the latter one.

After making some of the baskets, eventually the Sego Gurih was ready in the evening and I ate the menu with my friends and family. Delicious supper :)!