Journey of Love (1) – The fuel

We are created to love. Whatever our condition might be. Since the first inhale of air into our body, maybe even before that, we are called to struggle and mingle with enigmatic and dynamic mystery which is called love. Even our very existence if it is sustained until today, the biggest reason of all is love. Greatest commandments  start with a command and blessing, “Love....”

What an inevitable reality! Clouds of witnesses surrounded us in multitude. How we measure the ‘distance’ of earth and heaven? By the presence of love within us, within our family, within our community and within our nation. Such a tireless and sometimes exhausting, crushing and so narrow and close to impossible journey! We have to come face to face with so many challenges and storms  just to hold on and stand fast in Love. Real love is that which has been tested through darkest nights, hottest dessert, hurdles and hardship. Anything that is not love shall be like chaff  and filth in front of fire.

God designs us and makes us capable of perceiving and responding to love. He gives us His blessing, and one among the greatest ones is... choice. Whether we choose to trust Him and thus responding to His love and move toward Him, or to choose anything else as we desire. This choice makes space for us to joyfully and willingly lay aside our own self to embrace His All Merciful love. Sadly, we failed from time to time.

Nothing can overcome His love, though. He calls every human being into the embrace of His love from ages to ages. That Love has never lost. Ages to ages has this one strong message to listen and to ponder:  Anytime mankind depends on their own discernment, perception and strength , they fall immediately and severely. In the other hand, when they humble themselves before God and joyfully follow their Maker, clinging to Him with all their hearts and minds and strengths, they soared like eagle, and transformed into the likeness of their Lover. Adam and Eve fell for this very reason. Great people of the past fell for this very reason.

Now around us we see too obviously that people are craving for love. The  single continuous battle between the seconds of our lifetime is to love or not to love. Despite the fact that people long for love so badly, they often find themselves in exact opposite direction of love. Out of fear, guilt and shame, people make themselves further and further away from the real love. Yet, in the end, the  quality of our life shall be measured by this:  our proximity to Love; that is our proximity and clinging upon—Christ.

Just as a person who will dispatch for journey needs supplies and all necessary stuff to reach destination, we ultimately need them as well. In the very begining of this journey, we need God’s help and His mercy above all else. No love can be manifested outside of His mercy. Yes, if you want, you might go with anything less than love, but if you want the real and pure one, God is the source of power to make it come true.

It starts with, “Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God, have mercy on me.” Let God pours out His mercy and love that it shall overflows through your being. 

In abundance or in scarcity: Obedience

Yearning and seeking for beauty, peace and security, human souls long for those sense they are created for. But this has been proven to be very though struggle and costly. However, when people put their trust and ‘anchor’ into vain and wrong root, it will be even more painful and miserable. We are created by God and therefore only in God shall we find rest and joy.

It is tested through time and experience, that whenever we are obedient, peace dwell within us in such warmth and power. Yes, once we take that step of faith, the frictions of uncertainty and unseen reality thrust the heart with difficult time. However, there is sense that joy and peace which is beyond understanding shrouded us. Then we can simply trust and trust and trust. Until the Lord’s time comes and the faith come into sight.

 In the riches of life, people goes through different season and times. There are times of laughter and abundance. But there are times, when even we need to survive day after another. Remember, no matter what, obedience to the Lord comes first. Much easier said than done. But it’s not that hard either. Once human knows that he is but dust brought into life, there’s nothing feel so unbearable, especially for the sake of love toward Master.

Lord, looketh Thou down from the heavens and remember Your humble servant. Let me not perish in my sin and earthly toil. Rather, pour out Thy grace that I may trod the land with peace, with hard work and obedience. So that even my flesh and my heart fade away, You are my portion forever and ever. Amen. 

Love and not fame

Somehow when we are still living in this world, it is inevitable for us for to communicate in two manifestations. The first one is that internal interaction we have with our own thoughts. The second one going on between us and external reality. Both of them are not hidden from the loving eyes and ears of God. Let us more concerned with what we might think and conduct ourselves toward others than the other way around. What other might think of us can fade away in matter of minutes or even seconds. That counts not the foremost. But what attitude and presumption that we have toward others will stay long with us and affect how we relate toward that person. Be it a loving and  encouraging one, or resenting and grudging one.

“ Woe to you when all men speak well of you...” is very strong and clear exhortation for us to be very careful of vanity and falsehood. In a way, this is very good reminder for us too that we could not control how people might presume about us. They will think and speak of us as they wish. But, even worse when they speak ‘well’ of us, yet for false reason and based on falsehood. Thus, staying genuine and truthful is very important. It’s easy to fall into making impressions toward people around us because praises and sweet words are very tempting and sweet. Yet, again, the focus should not fall in the praises, credit or feedback, but it is in the staying truthful and genuine. Even if people might not be impressed or praise us for what we do. Yet still that fake sweetness cannot and will not surpass the favour from on high.

So, again, rather than chasing cunning and slippery praises, much better is to nurture our-self with prayer and simplicity. Just like muscle needs some work out to stay strong and in shape, our faith hope and love needs nourishment and ‘exercises’ to function. By that I mean, do we soberly keeping watch over our thoughts? Especially those related to our assumptions and thoughts we have about others? Fill our heart first and fore-mostly with the sweet power of Lord’s  Name,  open the heart and fill our hearts with warmth and love toward all. Mother Gavrilia is so keen of this saying, “people are sent, and we are sent to them .” and “human hearts never stop being good.” What a very loving way of approaching life. What if we lay aside the harmful thoughts and embrace all with simplicity and love. Listening them with ears of love, looking at them with compassion and thinking o f anyone under spectacle of mercy?

Love. Love. Love. We are called to love. No love, no life. It’s the narrow road, through which the old self and what it might carry are crushed in pieces. It might seem more desirable to impress and get people’s praises, yet still, it will fade away even before the sun goes down. Yet, the more wholesome, true  and lasting one is to love: to think, say, and do toward all in agreement of the will of God. Being helpful is always more important and meaningful than being impressive. So, it’s love and not fame which we must nurture.  

Magnifying the wrong object

Yesterday was the first day of school for my students and me after the school activity was being suspended because of the smoke/ haze condition in my beloved city, Palembang. The haze is still pretty thick, but it has been tolerable enough for us to have some public activity like school, etc. I am so thankful that actually I can do something useful like teaching. Now, I could appreciate more of being needed somehow and to realize that as simple and humble things that I do God can use it to bless others.

This new week has been such great weak to start brand new enthusiasm and ‘ new restart’ of this term. However, I realize that it would be much better if I can stay in spirit and earnestness of handling everything with care and giving the best for this service. Like St. Paul said, “do as to the Lord.” However, one among so many challenges that has to be defeated is postponing. You know, when the streams of due dates and files to be checked, it would be much more convenient to find excuses so that we might do it later. Like ‘laaaater’. Yet, later we will find out that the workloads doesn’t disappear by its own will rather it got so many siblings. One thing that could be very helpful in this, is doing small good things immediately and say no to postponing. When I am thinking of this, one of reasons (at least based on my personal experience) which makes us want to postpone is the habit of magnifying challenges  or ‘problems’ as if it were gigantic and beyond our reach. What I mean is, we tend to see simple task to look like we have to jump from the cliff. Making Math poster rubrics feels like making 10 articles for famous magazines. Surprisingly, I found that it is actually a virtue to look at problems as small and powerless in the face of our great God.

That thoughts comes up when I read some part in the book of Numbers when Moses sent 12 spies to see how the promised land looked like. While 10 other spies saw their projection of fear and terrifying facts, Caleb and Joshua saw totally different reality. They saw it as they are. They moved by faith and feared not. Such beautiful souls! A soul that makes God and His love first before anything else. As the result, they didn’t fall into the snare of magnifying the wrong objects.

In our responsibility, ministry, works, or relationship do we magnify those challenges and forget that our God is far bigger? When due dates and adversity come at our desk, will we ‘flee’ from it instead of doing it with all our heart? Problems, conflict and sorrows come and go in our lives. But they are just the smaller part of the whole story. God’s story goes on and that is about Ultimate true love toward all. Let His glory shines through our endurance, perseverance, faith and our surrender to Him.

Now, then... When anything comes to us, let us trust the providence of Our Lord. Be willing, take chance to accept responsibility and obedience in various forms: both those which come to us voluntarily and involuntarily. With peace of mind and joy in the heart, let us face the day with whatever it might bring with diligence and love. Do that little good things that our heart tells us tirelessly and persistently. Sure, we cannot make it happen by yourself, we need grace; constant flow of mercy from above. 

In the desert

Blessed is The Lord of all
He who guides His beloved people
Out from darkness and misery
Into the promised land
With His strong and mighty arms
With His wisdom beyond human understanding

O, Lover of mankind
Who reveals Yourself through Your beloved servants through the ages
Your amazing love and mercy
Is on what we shall cling on

Just like Moses who loved You so dearly
Thus like friend to friend did you conversed
Revealing the wishes of hearts
In defining moments and rough times
Aaron who faithfully served you till his last day on Mount Hor near Edom

For brave and trusting hearts of Hosea, later called Joshua ben Nun, and Caleb ben Jephunneh,
You are faithful Lord;
For they trusted You and see Your love in everything
They feared not, they walked by faith, which produced virtues in them.
They stood against all odd in trusting You,
Even if they were stoned.
Such a faith! Such love! Such courage!

Thus Lord,
Grant us to trust You and live by faith beyond sight.
Loving You above all else
And greeting all with love
For Yours are all things
Thus taking heed of Your commandments
And ardently keep watch,
So that even in the most seemingly hard time,
When experiences gives us two choices:
To be thankful even over having to pass through Desert of Sin or
To be frustrated over the what seems so barren,

We might choose to be thankful just because You who dwells among us...

Blessed are You O Lord, unto the ages of ages.

Goodness overflows

How merciful is our God! He doesn’t withhold his kindness from those who wait for Him. Blessed be His name among the nations. When our soul feels down and weary because of the burdens of this world, let us lay aside all those burdens and come to Him. He is the source of our rejuvenation and renewal. Remembering His goodness and mercy brings back the strength of our youth.

Don’t be discouraged. As we are still in the world, we are struggling. Yet, God’s goodness cannot fail. He is with us and transforming us into His likeness. And this transformation calls out for our authentic participation. For we are created in His image, we are given strength to freely submit and to joyfully trust our being to Him who creates us. Thus, here is faith takes part.

Remember how Israelite cried out before the Lord for their suffering was great in Egypt. God in His mercy remembered them and called Moses to lead them out of Egypt. God gave his benevolent providence along the way. Israelite, seeing the signs were greatly rejoiced. However, as we noticed from the Holy scriptures, that they actually had the mental belief on what God could do, but they got a problem: they were willing to belief, but not to suffer for the Lord’s sake. Although the truth is believing and suffering belong  together as privilege (Php 1:29). In this case, I was always touched by such beautiful heart that Abraham had in willingly obeying God despite of what might be unto him. The same thing also happened to Joseph in his responses in waiting in hope of deliverance from God.

It is great that we witness and are touched by the wonders that God makes in our lives. He is indeed good all the time. Yet, remember, it is suffering which leads us to greater wisdom, purer faith and faith made into sight. It is through that narrow path that we trod into the kingdom of Heaven, following the footstep of Christ. Well, it might or might not means being physically persecuted or anything related to us like right in our face. It might be  something simple and tangible like trusting that God will keep us and true to His words when He says, ‘do not be anxious about what you need’. It might mean to stay and choose what He desires even though we might things to go in our own way, etc.

When I reflected on these two persons among many persons in the book of Genesis , people of God whom were so dear to His heart: Abraham and Joseph, I noticed that at least these things are apparent. They trusted God, like really trusted. Not only believing, but they also were willing to suffer, to wait in dark times which human eyes could not really see, to endure hardship and to surrender their lives to the guidance of the Lord. Inspite of their suffering though, surprisingly they were generous and mindful of others. It was their trust in the goodness of the Lord which made their heart filled with goodness. Thus, from a heart which has been touched by such humility, goodness overflows.

Are we willing to trust in God’s goodness, to suffer for the sake of our faith in Him, and to love others in whatever conditions that face us? Love is... when we remember others  and the urge of goodness, namely good thoughts, intentions and willingness arises in such a way and we act upon it. 

Stillness is power

I found myself so amused today, learning about Heron of Alexandria’s inventions. He was such a genius that he designed and made so many kits and equipments in antiquity. Some of his inventions including automatic door revolver, chanting bird machine, toy by using steam power, coin-water dispenser, and the most complicated of all, automatic puppet show, all using physical principles of water, air and fire. I am so much impressed and inspired by such insight of his legacy.

One of the things that I saw and heard from the video was a glimpse on the Great Library of Alexandria, however, intrigued me. The narrator told something about one part of the building which is called ‘Museum.’ But this museum has nothing to do with selections of ancient things in the glass cases; rather it refers to a place solely devoted for the appreciation of stillness and thinking. So, here people are freed from the occupation of temporal things of daily life and goes beyond that, thinking and pondering on knowledge. I imagine Heron loved to be in that room. And I guess that is one of vital aspects of how he could manage to nurture his ingeniosity and creativity.

Most of houses today have TV set, and or other conveniences which help people to avoid silence and awkward moment of having to do nothing. People find the entertainments ready at hand and there they go, time flies. Unfortunately, this might potentially a very latent danger of people losing the precious moment of being still. I read something quite impressive on the other day that human brains love to have something to work on. That is why, surprisingly enough, there is a great resemblance of an anxious person’ and genius mind’s brain activity. Those conveniences exactly feed this kind of need to keep brain being amused. However, it would be much more awesome if people rethink about how to feed this brain need! What about sparing sometime to be still and to be ‘creative’? We could use it fore mostly to pray, to learn and to feed our brain with quality input.

It can be easily ignored. Since people don’t like to get bored somehow: and don’t be surprised how people could get bored too easily in this multimedia age. Yet, I am convinced that stillness and silence is also basic human needs. It has such curative effects especially to restore sanity, to induce clear and novel thoughts and creativity.

Christians especially; how needful we are of time spared for prayers and study. The Orthodox Church throughout the ages has taught her children to love and to respect moments of silence, of prayers and meditations. It is in the stillness of heart that we encounter such wonder of God visiting us. To develop this eagerness and love of silence, habit of sparing time at least in the morning and evening is inevitable.

Reflect upon this, as the time goes by, we will be surrounded by way much more distractions than ever; that human can ever imagine. It is within our control, however to spare and to take some time off, to ‘close the door of our room and pray.’ Don’t we realize, it is when we constantly and persistently stay within stillness of mind and heart that greatness is born. To wider extend, we also could add some more ‘museum’ time like Heron of Alexandria had, to sharpen our poetic, creative and ingeniosity nature. Never say too late. It can be started today. ;)

Glory to God for all things.