less imbalance

Some strong and attached felling can be counter-productive sometimes. One among the hardest aspects of life that is hard (at least for me) to understand is about feeling and emotions. It's just as mysterious, continuous and fluid as I expect it to be. The more I discover, the more I am convinced that it's something which needs to be trained and tamed, just like our tigers. Especially I am concerned of the way of expressing some kind of strong (even impulsive) and demanding feeling. In this is the spot of self-mastery lies.

When I think of the key principle of the expression management, I find something which almost always true: that we can not control others at any point. Let them think freely, judge freely and acts freely toward us according to what comes into their hearts. We can love and influence others as long as it is in our power to do that, yet we can not make that person to keep love us and to be what we want. There could be no love if there's no freedom. The hard part for me personally is to accept that at times. It's unpleasant to hear the harsh comments, critics or rough truth about myself. And lately, I have to face it in a little bit high dose.

I keep praying to the Lord that He grants me wisdom and discernment. Lest I fall into the trap of self-pity and fail to see others and to love them. Yes, it's easy for me to fall into that trap, I will only go forth in Lord's mercy alone... Thus, this beautiful prayer I ascend before the merciful God, the prayer of St. Francis of Assisi:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.

Where there is hatred, let me sow love.

Where there is injury, pardon.

Where there is doubt, faith.

Where there is despair, hope.

Where there is darkness, light.

Where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,

grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;

to be understood, as to understand;

to be loved, as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive.

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

Amen.