A very touching song...

... was made in 12th century by Rabi Avraham Even Ezra. The words are very simple, childlike yet have deep and poignant meaning resounding our relationship with The Lord. Here is the Hebrew version of the poem. The english translation follows after it.

לך אלי תשוקתי
בך חשקי ואהבתי
לך ליבי וכליותי
לך רוחי ונשמתי

לך אזעק
בך אדבק
עדי שובי לאדמתי
לְךָ אֲנִי בְּעוֹדִי חַי
וְאַף כִּי אַחֲרֵי מוֹתִי

השיבני ואשובה...
ותרצה את תשבותי....

לך ידי
לך רגלי
וממך היא תכונתי

לך עצמי,
לך דמי
ועורי עם גויתי.

To You my God, my passion,
On You my desire and my love,
To You belong my heart and my kidneys,
To You my spirit and my soul.

To You will I cry,
on You I will hold on,
Until I come to my true homeland...
I belong to You as long as I live,
and also after my death...

Help me come back and I will come back,
and welcome my remorse

To You my hands,
To You my legs,
and from You are my traits,
To You my bones ,
To You my blood,
and my skin with my corpse,

You can watch the video on youtube by clicking this link

get connected

Out there some people might feel unloved. Very so often what they need is a droplet of compassion to see that they are infact loved. Once one's heart realizes God's love and be surrounded by it, the person is overwhelmed with joy and thanksgiving. It is in the confidence of Lord's unconditional and ultimate love toward us, then we have no fear to love and make room for anybody, even to our enemies.

When we fail to see Lord's mercy which has been bestowed upon us, and thereby fail to have awe and fear before His greatness, our love toward others becomes cold. Acts of mercy and compassion would only be possible if we cling to the Lord, because it flows from the heart that is full of gratitude and amazement toward God's mighty work. Keeping our heart warm with the grace from the Holy and Life giving Spirit, we can be a healing presence for others. That is why it is essential for us to keep our mind pure and humble before the Lord not merely by being pious or religious but by being sincere in our repentance.

We are being invited to respond the Lord's indescribable love by saying yes to His Holy Will at any moment. We are created in love, through love and for love of Him. What is more glorious and joyous than being called His own inheritance? Having constant rememberance of Him before our eyes encouraged us to be connected to the Source of all that is good! Only in Him, because apart of Him we can do nothing.

Lots of time, the most difficult person to love is the one who is disconnected, isolated and hid himself in dishonesty. Wounds and disappointments can be so dominant in one's mind, that he mistrusts sincere love from his neighbour. Even in receiving mercy and love it is necessary to put off pride and self-preoccupation, what is more in giving. We need to humble ourselves to reach out and to embrace others, bestowing mercy and forgiveness to each other. Let's get connected, because that is the door of care and love.

facing it

I do not need to look for it. It is there. Everything is provided very sufficiently and for our good sake. Once or more I hit the point where the hurt is really diving inside, yet it is not for long. Everything that He allows is always worth it to be grateful for. Yes, even in the darkest and unimaginable moment, His love is sovereign!

Never have I imagined that I come across this locus. In the edge of life's peninsula, where the struggle is not only day by day but even more than that each minute. Keep thinking and pondering upon it, I have to confess that I can do nothing apart from Him. Sometimes the thought to withdraw and hide from the battlefield sneaking into mind, but then my heart says, "Be still and wait for the Lord! He is faithful!"

I cry out though sometimes in my heart, what is this all about? For it is surely a torment for comfort zone! Very especially when it feels like anything that naturally I am and I do --suddenly becomes a mistake to be mend. Yet, thanks for all these challenges which inevitably crushes my stony heart, feeling of self-sufficiency and imaginary contentment. I am trained to fight in the battlefield. Not against anybody, but against my own pride and immaturity.

Glory to You, O God! Glory to You

It is simple

Today I reflect on how simple life is and it would be better to be kept this way. It is as simple as the blowing wind, the blossoming flowers and the chanting of the birds. Stillness in every step and smile, accepting everything and give it back with open hands. When it is sweet, just say it calmly, "this is sweet" and when the scorching thrist comes, just say, "I am thirsty." It is that simple, calm without prejudice. Behind most of complex and unnecessary thoughts is worry and fear. In this glasses of worry and fear, then beauty seemed like blur. In simple mind, even little thing is beautiful.

So glad that at least I talked to others today, thank God, listened to beautiful Turkish music and traveled around Jakarta. Yet wait, it is not how many events that I can experience today or how many people that come and entertain me matters, it is as much as I am being present in those little tiny moments, that what really matters. It is not the feeling or sensation not even experience which is rewarding. Life itself is the reward.

It is not about seeking comfort or instant gratification, because I realize that my emotions, moods, etc are not reliable and quickly changes. But it is about being still and seeing things in prespective. But whose perspective and in what? It is perspective in the belief that the Lord is beautiful and He creates everything beautifully.

Thanks

This week my mood a little bit changed. I do not really know what has happened to me, but I feel one thing for certain that I feel more relaxed toward thing. Well, it is not very far from pacifying 'que sera sera' or non-atachments toward what happens, but not exactly that. It is a gift, something given and not from myself. It's like when worries becomes last option in a journey. My mind has been so familiar with this one: worries! Yet I think it is a good idea to get familiar with other way of mind: being thankful.
My attachments toward comfort and sometimes pleasure makes my thinking unfair at times. I love anything tasty but avoid anything sour. It is time for me to embrace both. This is a challenge but why not? I would love it.
Being brave and calm is the one that my state yearns for. By brave here I mean, being myself and abiding in the things that the Lord wants me to be. While calm means being unshakable and still. This is an art and the main course for this art is gratitude.
Sometimes I ask myself... Hm, OK, but thankful to whom and for what? And the answer is the first and foremost to the Lord! He is good and His love endures forever. Just pondering on this short but beautiful line makes my heart want to thank Him: He is good and His love endures forever. What can be more amazing than that? Second to those people who cares of us and deal with us in grace. Then, to our friends and enemies. Simply thank everybody! Because they have helped us to shape us! For what? For everything! :)