He guides

Now I have been few years after college. The thought of getting settled and preparing for marriage inevitably slip through. I remember one homily of Fr. Daniel Byantoro one of my friend's wedding day. Three secrets in life which normal people could not foresee: where and when we shall be born, to whom we will get married and the time of our death. So, I just remain calm and let God's hands leads me and gives His servant signs as He deigns.

Looking back to my life in the past, so many miraculous things happened. The Lord with His strong and faithful hands never desserts me. Many things happened, but all that I can do is to praise Him for vouchsafing me through it all. Those moments of doubts and reassured, of pain and joy give me lesson that He guides mankind from the very first day of his life. He, The Lord uses all that is possible to pour out His love to us. But that doesn't mean we could remain idle. He gives us the will and the strength to respond to Him. We can only respond to His love if we are alive spiritually. And to live we need to partake into the live of Holy Trinity through the grace of Holy Spirit.

And even until this point, He guides. He is The good shepherd who leads us through still water and in the right path. He is The Way, The Truth and The Life. And that's in the most real way. What we do for living, where we live, where we go and so many 'mundane' things. Let all those be fit what it is meant for: to lead us to God. Even the slightest smile of stranger, the angry child on the street, the laughter of random mindless teen, may those all serve one purpose: to remind us of God and His vast mercy to us as his own.

Now I am resolved, guide me Lord as You will. Let me rejoice in You and You alone. :)

Lord, by Your amazing love, heal my crippled legs to stand up and walk according to path of Your Holiness. Touch my withered hands that I might stretch them for the acts of mercy. Grant me sight to see Your brothers and sisters around us so that we might serve them for Your sake. Forgive me Lord, for making exuses against Your guidance. I am Yours, save me.

Seen or unseen

There's moment in this live when circumstances shake our comfort zone for whatever reason that might be. Lot's of times, these crisis puts so much pressure on the mind and we are forced to give certain response. For me personally, that could mean learning things which simply I 'postphoned' because I was not very confident in that and got very easily give up. It could also mean to be consistently get in touch with some work I started and later happened to be lay aside for some reason.

Praise the Lord for His wisdom and mercy. Because I just realized today that those little moments of discomfort and struggles actually are so powerful to keep our focus, shaping and enforcing our faith like no other way. It's just beyond our comprehension to digest but we believe that it works for good for His beloved ones.

One of my stressful factor of being a teacher is the responsibility to keep journal, checking and grading and making detailed observation record on students' progress. These administration things keep me busy and being in the rain cats and dogs of tasks. At some point, I need to admit that it exhausts me and wears me out. Is there any hope that I would be in a more lay back and slower pace things to do? Sometimes that question irresistably comes to my mind.

Yet, how beautiful it is when I see from the other side of the frame. The Lord knows me best and even better than anyone or I know myself. What can I say is, imitating St. Paul, 'Your grace is sufficient for me.' Dear Most Holy Lady Theotokos, teach my heart to say boldly like you did in the audience of the Watcher, 'Let it be according to His will'. And yes, how true are those two beautiful expression of faith. His grace is so sufficient beyond understanding. And His joy is the joy that the world cannot give.

It is our own self-pity and anxiety which magnify the little discomfort whereas those little gems enrich us to be stronger and lifting us higher in the journey of faith. Thus I am grateful for such fitting opportunity for me to learn being consistent and faithful in the little things through the subtle tasks of journaling. How could I not be grateful for such time through which my weaknesses and ugliness revealed. Not for shame! But so that the merciful Hands of the Lord could cleanse it and adorn the soul with holiness. As painful as it could be, his grace is invicible and working beyond our limitation and belief of ourself.

Do not resent. Rejoice and remember The Lord's wonderful and loving hands. He chastises those whom he love so that His splendor and glory might be reflected on us. What is left for us is to be still and wait for the Lord. And pour out our heart into what we are doing faithfully that the Lord's blessing might be contagious to those surround us. Glory be to God!

The joy of being

Be with Thy servant O Lord,
In the time of Joy and time of Sorrow
in every moment of life which is Thine own gift to me
Let me not forget that everything is sent by Thy bountiful hands

Thy table is overflowing with mercy
And from Thy right hand derives strength and peace
May my soul be always yearning for Thy presence
And may my eyes thirst for Thine inexhaustible beauty

Thy Words are good seeds planted in good soil
Wisdom sprouts and begets beauty of action
The sweetest action of all is that of prayer
And upon the sight of Thy comely countenance
Thus prayerful heart bears love and its offspring

How beautiful, how meaningful
Here is my sorrow, Lord
Let it be lifted up and transformed
into beauty and into victory
Here is my joy, Lord
in knowing that Life is about You and Your love story

Every moment, every struggle, everything
May they become the means of getting closer to You
However worthless, yet by Thy grace we dare

Cover our hands and our feet
and our head and our eyes
and our ears and our tongues
so we might perceive all through Thy love
that everything arouses us to love Thou even more
That nothing remains but our love toward Thy Indescribable love
Glory to You, Lord! Glory to You