It is easy to be tempted to be discontent of our situation. We might wish to live a better and happier life, getting rid off those itchiness and lame reality that we silently hide. Especially these days when people gets much easier access to the 'better you' workshop and market. We want to 'succeed', 'free', 'look better', just mention it. We might also painfully fight our own ugly self, which we consciously start to get exhausted out of. But somehow when I reflect on this, if we interview anyone comes to us, there must be something that they are discontent about. Well, no wonder, brothers and sisters. Since our expulsion from Eden, we don't live in the perfect world. We are in the exile. Our true abide is in the Lord as prophet David often put it beautifully in his Psalms.
What we don't realize in this case, however is the fact that God is persistent in His goodness toward us. We become too much focus on the misery or those little imperfections we have to bear. 'Worldly cares' as pious people put it, overtake us and we miss the most important point of clinging to Christ in trust and faith. Somehow, we pursue those good things earnestly and to improve ourselves to be much better person. That is great actually. But we need to ask why and for what do we do all those things? Is it out of our fear and shame, our longing to be accepted and looked upon by others? Beware of anything driven by shame and fear, because those two roots bears bitter fruits. To be honest, so many times, I fell into this very pit. I wish a taller and brighter body, smarter and cooler me, etc. But then I remind myself: when God creates you, He remembers.
As He is persistent in His goodness, He works in and through us. So many times, he doesn't work despite our weakness, rather through our weaknesses. The good news is, we don't have to be someone else. God wants us to be us: Yes, with all possible weaknesses and cracks that is in us. Do you remember the image of mud in the hand of the potter? Our job is just to cling on him and not to be too self-conscious. We simply obey and be grateful, and trusting our life in His persistent goodness. Now, can you feel which force drive you into repentance and renewal of a better you? Our old self demands the renewal of outer circumstances; bigger house, more money and glory for ourselves... The root for that is shame, fear and insecurity. But our new self accepts what God has been working through: whether it's poverty, discomfort, trials, or anything in such humble way that what concerns us is our love toward Christ grows day by day. It is the result of our longing toward our Truest Lover and Home, Christ, for whom we are created. That is a life of repentance. A life dedicated and directed in the seeking of kingdom of God.
May our heart be warmed by His amazing love and responding to His calling. After reading this, all those little annoyances might still be with you. Yet, what can overcomes the joy and peace in acknowledging, even God's glory is revealed through them just like in the story of the blind healed by the Lord. Be it our awkwardness, specific weaknesses that you don't want anyone to know. But God knows and God allows it for us to face. He gives us His grace, a strength unknown to keep moving and and to bear our cross. And through that very narrow road, we find ourselves in the footstep of Greatest King of all. Be thankful. Cry for mercy from above. Rejoice in Him. Remember, He is persistent in His goodness now and until you change into His likeness, as you cling on Him.
Real great meditation on difficult themes. Axios!
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