Oh... How unworthy I am, O Most Wonderful God, have mercy on me. I can't say anything about myself but a sinner before Thy Glorious Throne. Lord, have mercy on me.
In the morning, as a dorm resident, upon awakening I meet and greet my friends surround my bunk-bed. After washing my face and feet, there I stay still to recite prayers and the psalms, I am still realizing right now that how poor and unworthy I am in prayer.
And sometimes I had to be involved in the dyadic conversation with my peers. Actually shame on me, I know just little thing and certain topic. I do speak just so-so and nothing interesting nor excellent in my mouth, but Jesus Christ my Lord Who give me even the least thing so that I am able to speak.
Beside, it is very clear how apprehensive I am. I fight with my fear and anxiety -- which actually are just attempted imaginations by devil--just like fighting with a wild beast. And at times I got angry with myself. How poor I am. Lord, have mercy on me. How could it is that I have this big self-pity. I am so weak, help me O Lord, I cry aloud unto Thee!
Grant the amandments of my heart to begin look after my neighbors and not for my own sake; to put them first, other than mysel, O Holy One.
Then by His Love, He allows, a soft gentle word of His man comes to me,
"We can not be saved without struggling against the devil. We must endure many sorrows in our heart before the soul can free itself""Life here on earth is unceasing physical and spiritual warfare"-- Elder Thaddeus of Serbia
Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner!
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