Re-post: a little story

So far this is very good for me, that by mercy and providence of God I am to be here here right now and truly God provides everything so richly and abundantly each day with experiences, challenges and opportunities.

Especially the opportunities. Three or so years ago I was a parent-less and lonely boy, starving and swinging from a place to another, seeking hope and opportunity, if any. "Will I survive? I wept and cried out in my heart contritely". That was a hard and though experience for me, yet God has made it so rich as preparation and equipments for me personally to be his servant, even though an unworthy servant. I just literally felt what the younger boy feels in the Great parable-- hungered for the love, acceptance and the meaning of life.

In my poor and helpless state, God has made his love so real, even more real than what I could encounter before. This was for me simply to feel and see that he dispose me, a lost sheep by his own strong and safe arm to His Path, His own Pasture Land. That's too great for me! I can't say or explain how and why. I am too simple and unworthy to grab these great things He showed me. I simply trust and follow Him, my Greatest and Most Faithful Friend!

I was [and am?] used to be a very easy simple child. No sophisticate dreams nor complicated wants, I simply followed what my mother, my sister and may be my friends and teachers' expectations so willingly. I don't know why it was so, may be I was just too easy to trust anything. My friends and my neighbours grieved and had pity on me for this. I am just too naive and simple to complain about anything, and thus I was very un-assertive one.

My friends and those who cared at me asked, "Yudhie, don't you want to have toys, play a game, have shoes, pocket money, and all good things like us?" I simply said, "No..."

" Why?" they continued. "My mother has very little and I won't make her to be so grieved because I ask her too much," I answered. Since my childhood I can felt the sorrow of those around me, especially my Mom. Many times, when I woke in the middle of the night I saw her sleeping face, and even I was still so young but I can felt her sorrow and burden, I wanted to help her and didn't want to make her even more burdened by my wasteful requests. I was used to be silent and mechanical. My mother very seldom asked me about anything neither told her story or what was in her heart, I was just too weak and little to know her mind and I was also reluctant to ask her about that-- a cultural barrier.

Until that time come when the one who I trust departed from my side. As an adolescent, a phase when all the imaginations and desires are become more emerging, I still kept silent. My sister worked so far, my father far away too and my mother fallen a sleep and I was trusted to my aunt's family. Likewise, I worked for my aunt's family without any teenager-ian wants, just worked and studied, relating with them and my friends and my school radio listeners. I just did what I received and that's all.

Even until now in many occasions and chances, I am just as simple as that. I can't play any game nor online game, don't know lots of thing. I am so linear. :)

But in spite of that's all, One thing I know so simply, He is Wonderful!