The Framework

These days and what happened in them has made me think and contemplate on a really serious matter in life. That is how we live (both consciously and unconsciously) our lives in term of relation with others. Yes, I am familiar with the sacred commandment to love others as myself. But how miserable it is when I look back and reflect on what have I done and have I been doing. Lord, have mercy! I don’t have love from my own, but am too busy with my own fears, cares and dreams.

I remember someone said that the state of one’s heart is evident in the way he thinks, speaks and acts. The Lord Himself said, “But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man”. (St. Mat 15:18). Since starting from there-the heart- is where we work out our energies and operate our stewardship. And for me, what I can see is my own fearfulness. I have such a fearful heart. Many times I find that I am very preoccupied with threats. I assume that the world around me is threatening, and my heart couldn’t be still. This is especially true in the case when I meet the new situations and people. Inaudibly, I can be so touchy and self-centered. In many situations, it’s just need to switch one “Click!” and instinctively the ‘defense mechanism’ turns on. When and where then the love and care for others so long as I am so deceived and occupied? Lord, have mercy!

In His faithfulness and mercy, the Lord reminds me through His beloved friend, that it is for us to look at others and forget ourselves (to care and love others). We trust in Him who is the Lover of Mankind. Exactly in this part is my vulnerable part. I used to do anything to protect my comfort zone or territory. It is not that easy to meld my hardened and mistrusting heart to simply trust my friends and yes even my enemies to do whatever to me as the Lord allows. At least as long as I use my old frame of “let me try to be so-so” with my own will power, then I am deceiving myself. Let’s say I were to be judged as Christ was, I would flattered many words to protect myself from any harm. This word is really speaking to me:

“... but letting others treat us badly, say bad things about us, make us do what is unpleasant or unfair, and to not try to defend oneself (that is humility)”

Lord, Only Thee, Only Thee hath the power and Love to transform and soften my heart. It’s only by Your Grace, my part is to say Yes to Thy Holy Will and follow Thee in obedience. Lord, nail me; nail me with Your Love to be as Thou wilt me to be. In every sighs and tears O Lord may Thy mercy sufficient to comfort me and let me throw myself under Thy Holy Feet! But help me O Lord in all things to take heeds to Your Holy commandments and to live it and to do it as weak as I am in Thy mercy. Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me! May Thy Words becomes the Light unto my feet. My it be my framework in Life. To see Thee, O Lord, to follow Thee is the greatest joy of all. Change my heart O God! Let this cruel sinner be your faithful servant, by Thy mercy! Ameyn!