Among the choices

I am wondering that even my own sister and me have different choices and ways in looking a similar event. So are my friends and I think the people around me. The way every person respond to a particular circumstance are also diverse. Each has his/her own uniqueness and characteristics to see and decide what choices they choose, which I believe God knows them perfectly.

I remember last time when in my posting I worried (a lot?) about humility [and obedience], and my great friend encourage me not to that worry about these things, because these things are not something we can produce by our own strength nor hard efforts. He said, "Brother, do not worry too much about humility. It isn't something we can "grow" through our own efforts or will power. By all means, always take the humble and lowest place, but not to gain humility or even to demonstrate it.Seek Christ always first, and do what you see Him doing in your spirit, and accept everything that happens to you, good and bad, with the same cheerfulness (not resignation), the same satisfaction with God's plan for your life."

And when I remember this and once more ponder upon this matter (yesterday and today, 28-05). I found that this is very powerful!

God has provides us a very rich means and opportunities for me [and us] to learn humility and obedience. They are so richly provided by Him as rich as the other blessings He bestows upon us every single day--which we always need.

In this day, when there are so many choices, interactions, communications and thoughts we face or feel or think, inevitably we have to decide how to response or react to certain stimuli or to initiate something. In this, there always the temptation to use the pride, laziness, reproach (my) self, desire to contradict, self-wisdom and stubbornness and then if we are trapped by that, that is the hard shell!! Inside that we can not meet the God of Love and freedom (Tito Colliander, Way of Ascetics).

Therefore I found that what my friend said above is very powerful and wise:
"By all means, always take the humble and lowest place, but not to gain humility or even to demonstrate it.Seek Christ always first, and do what you see Him doing in your spirit, and accept everything that happens to you, good and bad, with the same cheerfulness (not resignation), the same satisfaction with God's plan for your life"

It's very good to take any moments and circumstances today joyfully and with simplicity although in our weaknesses those might be tiresome (But Love never tires!) and yet in our tears and sweat the sound gladness would blossom. We need always focus on Him and ask His blessing in each step. Indeed, He has provided us so richly!It is wonderful to make the Sign of The Cross deliberately, joyfully and reverently and to fill our mouths and hearts and minds with the Psalms for His Greatness while working in the library, translating wonderful spiritual books and any other activities.

Glory to Thee, O God!

Lord Jesus Christ, The Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner!

Something about hope



Once more, a moment in my life which really has great impact and strength in this pilgrimage of life.

As a little boy, I was convinced that anyhow there must be a hope, yet I feared to hope anything. I had to face many things in this life that made me scary and forced me to deal with the reality that were not acceptable and to under-estimate the Hope (and may be the Faith as well). If not, at least there was an attempt to make the hope and Faith become certain abstraction or philosophical thing, a day-dream matter.

But, as The Lord holds my weak and unworthy hand, and He leads me from day to day, I start realize that Hope and Faith and Love in Him would never disappointing. This is not even our effort to believe phenomenal thing or a sophisticate matters. This is by his Grace! How could we understand anything if it is not God who makes us understand, and not only that, but even more so that we might be with Him eternally? By His Ultimate Love, He has been so near and encamped in our midst and drawn us to His Love. And this is great and beyond comprehension, though, Perfect God became Perfect Man and He understands us perfectly! He is so Humble and Gentle in His Majesty and Great Power. He has been very faithful and show His Greatness among his servants in the whole of my life.

And particularly these days, when I am strongly convinced: His servant's Love toward Him has strengthened my Faith and Hope in Him! And certainly where there is a seed of love sown, there will be another Love grows! And by these moments in my life, I am convinced that the Ultimate Hope for us is The Eternal Communion with God, Theosis.

And this is very touching when I reflect from this blog of Romanos: realizing we are but dust and ashes, but in His Greatness, Lord has given us life and really loves us! And another one from this podcast of ancient faith radio, which I quoted here:

"But I believe the gospel because it gives hope beyond us and me. I believe the gospel because it does not deny the reality even the atheist clearly sees. I believe the gospel because in the end, if all we have is ourselves and human evil balanced by human kindness, the end is still ultimately a pointless existence ending in a meaningless death no matter how evil or kind someone is. I believe the gospel because God entered our world, God faced our reality and God did not give us platitudes and pep talks, He bore the lowest reaches of human depravity and declared after three days that no evil is omnipotent, no injustice is eternal, no existence is pointless and no death is meaningless. The darkness, in the end is not the end but brings forth the dawn and the promise of never ending day. I believe the gospel because I know, after looking hard at the world and what I have done in it, I have no true hope if it is not true."



How Great Thou art!

Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner!

Thy Will be done

You're more than enough
when the east-west north-south winds persuades
don't you want this?
abandon! that ye will get more
what for ye keep that? That's too little
receive more, more than that
and have your own life!


You're more than anything I need
More than yellow ripen rice in Javadwipa
More than sweet honey from Eastern islands
Your shimmering countenance and amazing voice
make my eyes and ears could not turn around
how great and wonderful
the truly greatness, fullness and perfection are only in You

Your will is perfect from every side
even more than well-cut diamond
why then, not trust?

The greatest force sometimes comes from rear
it may start with little things
the innocent ones
but they distract that focus to His Perfect Will
Let's remember once more the experiences of Salomon
David, Josiah

In the dark and low valley
there the heart wants to shout:
"What is it all about? I understand not"
Then, let's listen to the story
of Righteous Job, Joseph, Noah, Abraham
and of thousands and thousands witnesses
Those who really trust in His Will

and surrender their lives TOTALLY, Joyfully and Faithfully
and they're consumed by the Love of God

Nothing should replace its beauty from our heart
God's Will is my delight
my desire and my everything
This is the purest Joy and the source of deepest Peace
for our souls, for our lives!

Forever!

Refreshed


What a relieve!! This was a nice, warm and sunny Sunday! Good to see my cool friends again today. Especially those who have the classes done so they can smile freely and 'maximally'. The storm and crisis has over and now the new page and white gleaming sands lied in beach of the Next Days.

There is no more anger, hurt and Herbetd can laugh and share again his life with me and my friends. As the close of this wonderful day, we read Psalm 133, what a great psalm for us! For this, special appreciation I give to Romanos, Brock Smith, AR, Marcel and those who read this blog and may we continue to pray for each other!

Glory be unto God, both now and ever and unto ages of ages!

hurt .....[somebody feels]


Here it is, another side of wonderful yesterday! So, as I back to dorm in the evening (around 7 pm), I was walking and interacting with one of my roommate, Jecko. And as we opened the door of our room, another friend, Herbetd looked at me and asked, "Hey, Yudhie have you tapped my smart card?". [So, every time we get to eat, we should bring the smart card (i.e. our ID card) to be tapped, and then we get the coupons or ticket for the meals. If we don't tap the smart card, we will get fined].
"O, friend.... I am sorry, I forgot it" [Herbetd asked me to tap it at lunch time, before exam]
"What? I don't like with what you have done, just don't like your way!" said he angrily.
" I am sorry, I am wrong. I don't want it like this as well. But my mistakes! I am so sorry"
"I don't know... Whatever...", he replied.

Silence.....

Thus, here it is what I have to deal, with a conflict......
Glory to you O God! I am very shame. Shame on me, how careless I am and has wronged my dearest friend... So I spend last night to really contemplate this matter.
It's very benefit that we are made realizing that we also might have mistakes. And in this fallen nature, how easy it is to get wrong in our weaknesses. And thus, we really needs the Mercy from God unceasingly every moment. Thus I need to cling always in him our strong fortress and shield.
Second thing, about the anger..... I remember, when the anger came, in the ugliness of my passions, it is more preferable to look down on the wrong doer. So there will be two labels: the right one or the wrong one. And we tend to use the 'garment' of the first one and we put on the other to the one we angry to. We want the person who has mistake to feel hurt as we do, or at least know how it feels. In the corrupted sense of justice we then become merciless. The focus of the matters becomes the self... There is a want to take a pity, to cry and to have mercy only to the self. Therefore, in this, there will be a certain sense of 'satisfaction' and that satisfaction only comes to the self and make another be the object and the victim of the satisfaction, and hence, the victim of the anger because the source comes from anger. And unfortunately there is certain teaching that somehow use this approach to understand the Loving God. Lord, have mercy. Lord have mercy. Lord have mercy.

God is Love. He would not put us in the side of 'wrong' and traps us there in the box with that label and lock that box with un-opened lock. Instead, he comes to the sinners to realize and give them live, eternal live! And He would not enjoy to see us in the wrong sides in order to 'make' himself right. He is perfect. There is no need to be that way.
But, beyond our corrupted description of Justice, God is Gracious, Merciful and Faithful. How weak, unworthy and sinful I am and it is very easy for me to get wrong.... But indeed, in His Graciousness, Mercy, and Faithfulness he keeps strengthening, holding my hand and lead me back on his way.... He doesn't put us on the box of wrong, instead he realizes us and transform us, from sinners in the darkness to be saints in glory and light, because he is Love and He loves us perfectly and so that He might be able eternally be united with his beloved sons and daughters who He has created in the very image of His..... This is wonderful beyond description!

Therefore, I bow down and pray:

"Have mercy on me, O Lord.... Have mercy on me. behold, Thy unworthy servant, today in my weakness, I have wronged my beloved friend. Lord, may Thou pour out your healing oil of mercy upon my brother Herbetd, on his heart and mind. Heal the wound and anger that I caused, and would you give me the remnant of that, because I also need Thy mercy. But first, May Thou pour it to my brother Herbetd abundantly, and lest the anger trap him. My prayer I arise to you as incense before Thee, and I beseech Thee, protect this my beloved in your strong arms."

Lord, have mercy on us!

A capital F


This stands for friendship. Because today's learning of mine is coming from the fragrance of friendship! This morning has become one of my great mornings with beloved ones around me. And the names goes to my close friends: Irvan and Rita. This morning while we had breakfast together and babbling so many things around the final exams and also foreign language learning (Russian), we talked and share each other. This is nice time, any way.... So in the breakfast table we share about our 'inventions' during the week.
And the interesting part is when Irvan share about his newest software which he got from Internet. We smiled and listen to him during the breakfast time. He was so enthusiastically to share how wonderful it is. If I am not getting wrong, the name is "Microsoft student". From our point of view as a prospective teachers, this little aid is very powerful and useful to recommend to our future students. There are many excitements, laughs and smiles there. I am touched by this togetherness with Rita and him... And that makes me Contemplate...

How exciting it is if we found something good and make it known to someone or anyone else. This will surely become something that not only makes our self full of joy and cheers but also those around us. If there is one little thing that Irvan found and in his excitement he shared that with us (me and Rita) and make this morning different, then actually we have something more joyful and greater joy we can share each morning, each day and each breath of our noses. That is the Love of God, the Risen Christ and his Holy Body, The Holy Orthodox Church.....
At least, I want to tell them whenever they ask.....
Answering honestly, answering patiently and answering not just with an answer....
It's not something for us to keep for ourselves, but let's be like Samaritan woman who after saw the Messiah, she acted joyfully and witnessed and told people around her and they come to know True Christ, even they themselves know Lord Jesus Christ thereafter.

Regardless of our unworthiness and weaknesses (in this I am the most), let's joyfully spread the good news to this world, to the beloved ones around us. Remember, the first gospel of Incarnation was entrusted to the simple shepherds in Bethlehem and behold they came to Him and spread that news.... The Light of Light was once made known to the fishermen of Galilee, and they becomes the Apostles of the world.... The Radiant Resurrection once shown to The Women and they were strengthened to tell the world and their witnesses even trustworthy until now and forever!

Then, we know that God chooses the humble ones and those who don't depend on their own strengths. But who stand lowly before him with contrite heart yet in the fullness of joy, the unspeakable joy for the Greatness Joy and Grace that is Revealed by The Son! "Lord, Jesus Christ, the Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner! Grant O Lord that I always stand in awe and amazement before Thou and bless my mouth and tongue and soul and all of my life to bring the light to those who by Thy Providence Thou alloweth to be around me and I be among them! Amen.

Deep...

For some people, Monday is a busy day and of course this can makes them tiresome. And uniquely, mine is Tuesday! Yesterday, I worked in Yohannes Oentoro Library for 7 hours, shelving nice and sometimes heavy books, that's nice though... Library has always been a nice place for me and my friends!

And the hard part of the day used to be in the evening.... I felt little bit tired and yet I compelled my self to read some Binomial Probability concepts, and great, by the excitement I feel to study these stuffs, consequently my tire is forgotten...

And until that very beautiful moment came... I step nearer and nearer in the front of the Holy Icon of Christ, our Lord... As I made the Sign of the Cross and whispering, "In the The name of The Father and of The Son and of The Holy Spirit. Amen..." and I gaze unto his great and radiant Image and I spoke gently, "Glory to You, O God......"

And this moment always be the joyful moment for me after passing the day and that the day came to the close. How glad it is to see the face of my Lord God and to be with him all the day long. This is the greatest revelation ever in this life.... "Whoever sees me, sees My Father..."

Lord, O Lord, How great it is when you reveals Thyself and Thy will and Thy Radiant Glory, The more Thou draw me nearer unto Thee and Reveals Thyself, The deeper Joy and Peace Thy servants behold and taste.

Great it is to be with The Lord, "Wherever I am, there also my servants be." There is nothing more desirable and glorious and amazing than to be with The Lord, my God and to be among His holy beloved ones' companion!

Lord Jesus Christ the Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner!

Featured Post

Embracing Paradox, Being a human with colourful emotions

In the tapestry of human existence, threads of sorrow and joy are intricately woven, creating a complex and beautiful mosaic of ...

Popular Posts