Today we decorated our floor and room... Hm, no actually I just took very little part in it. I am not a diligent man and feeling not very good at physical works. It's been so nice to feel the nuance of Christmas and to hear and sing the Christmas songs the whole day. One of my favorite songs is "Veni, veni Emmanuel". That's very beautiful song for me during the season like this, with my friends in the dorm.
There are many things happen around me and most of them are mysterious. I really wish the simple things can make me happy and silent yet somehow I am being restless because of my own unwisdom. I am a kind of person which love to stick on something and wish that thing never change. I come to realize that it's unrealistic... so many things change and are not under my control :P. This is all in God's and He is good and He never changes. I need to constantly look up and asking for Him Who is beyond all understanding and wisdom.
The most uncomfortable moments that I need to deal with these days are the emotional storm! I feel very emotionally charged, the melancholic soul and mind helps me much to surf the up and down of the tantrum very quickly. Hmm, I am wondering and I am still hoping that I will pass through this path with the Lord in His abundant mercy so that I'll live detached with my unreliable feelings and survival instinct... It make me ashamed at times to realize that I spend most of my time and my life with myself. Well, it's just a thought and my thought is not very compatible with reality. So, I just count the days and when I see that it's not long, I know that He will work in me to do His will... Amen.
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Youth is a difficult time, and the years you are in right now, the worst and most dangerous of all for young people. The ones who think more, like yourself, suffer more because you are aware of more, but then you make less wrong decisions than the more active types. Always, the last part of any undertaking is often full of difficulty, as you know, because our enemy does not want anyone to succeed, and so he will attack you more. But this time will be over before you know it, and after dark clouds, sunny day.
ReplyDeleteYou're very right, Dad. It's only in Him I can stand and find the truest rest.. :)
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