Journey of love

Great lent is here! It's been such amazing moments of reflection, of being refreshed and of repentance.
In this beautiful time, the passage of Christ's revelation about Last Judgement (Matt 25:31-36) stuck really strongly in my mind.
In this particular part of Holy Gospel, Christ clearly tells us how all nations, every human will be judged. Such dreadful yet true as it is, when The Lord The Most Holy and Truthful Judge will reveal all things plainly.
To my amazement, the standard which He will use to judge is love. Do we really love God and do we love our neighbor? Seems then, after all, our very existence must revolve in these two most important matters.
We know that Love comes and flows from The Lord and none else. It is our sins, impurity and disobedience which block His precious gifts to be active and bearing fruits in us. Thus, it is the act of humility and denial of the flesh which makes our heart contrite and be open to the grace of God.
Now, among important things which a Christian can do to have this disposition of heart are... prayer, fasting and almsgiving. These acts are not meant to make us 'good' or religious; rather these acts are what Christ highlighted to be done out of sincerity and love toward Lord and others very powerfully.
Let's ponder very quickly how important these three things are.
Prayer directs our being toward God: our mind, heart, body and soul. Let us lock our small room i.e. our deepest heart to be sanctified by the presence of The Lord in every single moment we have. Let us craving for Him and His presence like a deer panting for the water, and not merely for vain glory.
Fasting makes our flesh and desires bridled thus giving us much more opportunity to think and seek not something worldly, but His Kingdom and righteousness.
Almsgiving done in secret are great ways to help others, to open the abundance of God's mercy to be experienced by our brothers and sisters and not stop in us.
So prayer, fasting and almsgiving... these very powerful staffs for our pilgrimage in the journey of Love. May this not be merely religious duty, rather our yearning to learn and to love God in very real way. Because we want to serve and please Him and because we see Him with us in every moment of our life.

Glory to You, O Lord. 

being faithful

After awhile, I come across this topic of being faithful. This seems to me to be the week-long reflection which eventually written down into this post. 

In my work life during the month, it could be somehow exhausting. Needless to say that the past few days has been rather tough for me both physically and mentally. Special fatigue came from long list of due dates and students affairs which seems so dynamics and 'endless'. Once I got chance to share it with my friend, I told him very casually that I feel overwhelmed. To my surprise his response was very unusual. Instead of telling me to try harder and 'don't give up', he very indistinctly said,"Just slow down, man!" That's all and I kept silent for a moment.  

Wow! I exclaimed to my self. That's it. That was actually all I needed to hear. I need to slow myself down; well not in a sense of slothfulness --but rather to lay aside all those burdens of proving great works and trusting more to the Lord! He takes care and what I need to do is to say yes to every of His will. The Lord knows that his servants also need rest and I feel almost like dancing in my heart. Yes. I need to slow down to be able to collecting myself and be totally there. 

So, how can this relate to 'faithfulness'? Hm. Well, that came to me a few days later. So, there I was trying to make it easy and slow down a little bit. The moment when I started to agonizing about what shall I do or how can I manage to do multiple tasks, etc; I give it up in prayers and whisper to myself, "Totally slow down, please." Ta-da! That's awesome. The moment I became calmer, the specific things which I could work on flew by itself. Without even realizing it, I started do the things I need to do. Praise the Lord. So, I understand now, we cannot accomplish anything simply by being panic and anxious. But by being still and know that the Lord is there, that He shines His countenance upon us! And that is where our faithfulness takes form; since "Without Me, you can do nothing." In keeping the remembrance of Him and not being distracted by stormy sea around us, then we can give our self totally to Him!

And finally, I want to share this simple but beautiful words of beloved Mother Lila, "All feelings of anxiety spring from imagination. I, too am in this world. I, too, have to pay my telephone bill and all the rest. But I am not anxious. Because I know that the Lord will provide what is necessary at the right moment - exactly what and how much is needed." (The Ascetic of Love, p. 333)

--Glory to You, O Christ! --Such a beautiful faith! Faith which led her faithful till the end.  

Keep balance

I smiled this morning. When I awoke with mundane heaviness to start the day, I tried to collect myself and made the sign of the precious cross. Yes, it is Sunday! The day of the Lord and thus time to remember Him in a special way, by going to His temple. Silently I sat by my bedroom and not too long before my worries and cares arose in the corner of my heart as to think about what I need to do, what I need to plan and a lot more. Suddenly it feels like a light to my mind. "Hey, why not to be more deliberate; to learn to be present where I am without being eaten up by the urgency to rush and to make my day?"

Yes, that is the very first battle of the mind: to be constantly occupied by so many cares and lose ourselves in agony about what to come, or simply being there, trusting Him who will guide us and show us what He wants us to do. To be honest, in my inexperienced mind, I'd rather try so hard to manage my day in such away to avoid undesirables. I will make five of 'list to do' for the day and ended up doing only one. I tried to figure out, solve and got quite hectic for the day and ended up being overwhelmed and worn out. This habit, in my reflection although is not totally wrong can lead to fatigue and depression. So, what point do I need to recheck?

And that's the reason I smiled this morning. I learn that everything needs to start, to be guided and to be shrouded by prayers! Nothing can be accomplished, can be thanked for and can be celebrated in truest sense-without prayer -- without our gaze toward Him who loves us all. The art of being in peace, being in the present moment, enjoying our work and tasks lies in offering up our trust and constant remembrance of  the Lord. And for me, number one enemy to make this possible is irrational worry and anxiety.

Thus, by being more deliberate, turning any slightest thought of concern into prayer and silence before the Lord results in the sweet stream of peace and joy even in the most demanding hours of our day. We realize where we are, what we are doing, and at the same time we offer incense of prayer and thanksgiving to the Lord.

So, I learn today that in any moment of temptation, difficulty and heavy labor, it is most fitting to seek refuge in the Lord and trust Him completely. Our joy doesn't depend on how much pain we avoid or how much pleasure we can enjoy but in knowing that The Lord transforms us and shapes us through every single event He allows us to experience in His grace!

Love is action

Even a word can make a difference; even a word can articulate love, respect and yes, maybe even hatred. Some times what is spoken, unfortunately can't be withdrawn, it's still there when the impact has been altered. What do you speak today? Anything you say wisely and soberly in respect, in love to others or in pursuing your sole intentions. How do you speak it? Is it with bitterness of mind, with carelessness which causes pain or with abundant peace and kindness? Is the joy reflected in it? But among all, is it spoken in sincerity and clean heart, with no other ultimate purpose in that but to rise up as incense for the glory of the Lord. Sweet words, it is sweet, yet it will be genuinely sweet, refreshing and strengthening just like His Word when love is present in it and it will stay to the depth of soul. Might it be a greeting, might it be a hello, a consolation, a light humor and smile-laughter, confessions, cheers or sorrows: only love gives meaning and touches hearts and lives.

Even the slightest thought could make a difference. Are we welcoming those whom the Lord sent in hospitality, care and servant-hood or are they just a bother? Are we receiving them in peace and we wash their feet --no matter who they are, and inviting them to Home; or are they a stumbling block which makes our day bad and regrettable? Today among those you live and move do you seek peace, holiness, the Kingdom and the righteousness? Are the world and its cares driving you away from the very center and the most important thing in life that is to love The Lord God with all your hearts and minds and strengths? Proverbs said, "give me, son, your heart" (Proverbs 23:26), only to the Lord God our heart should cleave completely.
Even the smallest act could make a difference. A gentle and attentive answer even to the most irrelevant man would never be worthless and gladsome to the hearts that listen to it. A little gift of smile, tears, sincere reach and presence could be a great cure for the weary hearts. Love heals. It is such a pure joy for she who sings in front of us, even though not the best song we can hear but we sincerely listen and give her an encouraging feedback. It is such a pure joy for a burdened friend to know that we care and want to help. It is such a joy for a friend who is tired from toils and we give him a tiny fresh water of friendship and companion. What a relieve it is for a stranger to know that he is not alone and that someone willing to offer him a help. What price can it replace when he who is dying from hunger and thirst but somebody comes and give him or her heart and life to be eaten? A cheerful giver is much more precious than the gifts he can give, however much it is. The joy of giving it can 'turn the water into wine' of love which is born from the act of compassion.

Love is action. Prayer is action. Even the least acts, a single word, a slight thought can be the means of love and there are plenty of the opportunities in our day! Lord, grant us attentive hearts to listen, to care and to take heed of Thy Holy Will! Lord, have mercy!

goes beyond words

I find recently that my casual way of communicating using my second language, Bahasa Indonesia (my mother tongue is Javanese) is somehow a little bit difficult for me. At times, my tongue was twisted and even using some broken grammar when talking with my friends :D. Like yesterday when I was going to the Food Junction to take my lunch. It's funny when I realized that I spoke sometimes irrelevantly and with a little bit chaotic grammar. I wondered, how could it be when I become a teacher one day. I hope my students will understand yet. Lord, have mercy!

As I pondered that event, there was one little thing came up to my mind. It is about the universal language. Here in Indonesia, there are many occasions in which I have to deal with people from many local ethnics. Each has their own dialects and ways of speaking. When I remember those times, it reminds me that it is not the exactness of the words or dialect which makes us really communicate. It is the 'who' and 'how' seems to be more determining. I don't deny the importance of exact words though, but in the deeper and even deepest sense, it is love which speaks clearer anytime.

Very interesting it is to notice that even two people who don't really understand each other's language are still being able to communicate. It is the act which comes out of willingness to reach, to understand and to care other persons helps the persons to touch each others and achieve the mutual understanding. It is in that one mind and heart that the persons begin to feel belong and then learn the 'what'. And it is true then what St. James admonished us, "Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters!* Let every person be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger". (James 1:19)

Thus I learn that it is not only the beauty of the words-- and not only the 'what' that we think or we speak and we try to give others will be planted in our beloved minds and really matters, but how much love that we bring with the words, the smile, the nods, the reach, the touch, the sighs, the enthusiasm, the sincerity, the cares, etc which will speaks so undeniably to their being. Yet, even when they despise it all for any reason, it is precious in the eyes of The Lover of mankind.

Glory to You, O God! Glory to You!

Glory to Your Love, O Lord!

What should I say, what could I say
when my heart became so weary
and my flesh failed me
a sharp sword, a slippery stone
and I stumbled before the waterfall

Too many sounds
yet couldn't be heard so clearly
too many bees
around the Java apple's blossoms
when the calm, warm and dry down slope winds
breezed through the branches of the trees

Then I fainted, trying to catch breath
my tongue was stiff
and my eyes went droopy
voicelessly I moaned
as though drowning in turbulent stream

Suddenly a spotlight pierced the darkness
as though the moon shied away and the stars hid behind the clouds
a gentle hand, a strong hand reached me
"My son, my son, where are you?" as He approached
tears burst out through my downcast eyelids

"My Lord, my Lord" my heart cried spontaneously
"I am drowning, help me"
He ran and embraced me and brought me back to Him
then a noisy chamber he set
and a fat calf prepared on the table
for the prodigal and wandering child

Lord, Your Love!
How could I understand it
How strong, how mighty
How holy and how great!

Now let me put on the robe of your Love that You give
that I may rest and stay among Your servants, seeing Your glory
Your royal ring of mercy and faithfulness
be on my finger and let me rejoice and walk in the light of Your Majesty

Being with You, O my Lord, my heart rests in peace
Not the sea of sweets nor the mirage in the desert
could comfort me, only You O Lord
Not the heat of the sun nor the fiercest wind
could shake me when I am under Your Wings

Let me stay and be the least of Your servants but let me be with You
My life is Yours and I throw myself under your Holy Feet
Lord, teach me Your statutes, for You are my God!
Let my heart beats proclaim Your mercy and goodness!

Glory to Your Love! Glory to Your Unfailing Love, O Lord!