Coming Home

So far, this has been so great, great experience to be in Lippo Village, Tangerang. I got more that what I asked to the Lord, thank you Lord. Have mercy on me Thy unworthy servant. Sometimes I just simply forgot how mighty and wonderful Thou art.

I will go home for about three weeks to celebrate the Nativity in my home town, Lampung. I don't know..... I felt a little foolish today. I had a group assignment with Mela, Ester, and Albertus. Albertus gave his work to me and this morning without any consideration I simpley put in the Mr. Bimo's pigeon hole, so I thougth it is finished. But unexpectedly, Albert came and told how silly I was. The work has to be collected together, I never thought about that. Oh, my God. I dunno what I feel sometimes I am just very unconscious.

Because of my foolishness I will feel really uncomfort both with my self and toward my friends. I am so sorry, how can I be this foolish!
St. Ignatius of Anthioch have mercy on me
Forgive me,

Yudi

Grateful heart for a Christmas

In One Christmas this year,

I am just keep silent, Lord, I beg you for your mercy and give a peace to my soul. I dunno what I feel in this Christmas season, I hope I will be happy. But if I am allowed to be honest as a human kind, I am really sorry now. It seems that I am so despised. I didn't have good contact with my sister and my parent. Inside my heart I so want to call them, chat and make a nice conversation with them, but I dunno until I realized that my relationship with my own family is being so cold.

My Dear Father used to not really have communication with me, yes and I can understand that because we're not used to be in one home since I was an infant. May be I can count how much I met with my father (7 times?). Does he really worry and think about my life and my future right now?I answer, I am not sure.

I lived with my sorrowing mother, a really weak and gentle lady who had done so many great things to my life. In her loneliness, broken heart and weaknesses she provided me with unchangeable love of a mother. I really thank you, Mom. Although now, only your name remain with me in my life. I just remmember how your smile in the Christmas was like a diamond in the center of the dark earth. I am so sorry had made you cried so often and your life was being burdened because of me. I am so sorry Mom, will you see me again one day? I have now grown be a man, yet what does it mean with no one mother values me, I was desolated!

My Dear sister who also has to strive and struggle so hard to survive. A girl-now a Woman with such hard live and dream now has an infant and a husband. I know that she has been to busy and to hard live with her family there. But she also has to afford my life since I am still a student and I need some money from her restless work. Sorry my sister, for making your life even harder because I cling to you and your family. I really miss you since I was so rare to meet you in whole my life time. I remmembered how I really joyful when I was waiting for your letter and phone call when you are in University, and yet we've never been in one home for a mean time. I just pray for you, my sister so that God sustains you and I dunno what to say for your restless work, your tears and prayers to your unworthy brother like me. Thank you.

I do understand why father, sister why you didn't call me. I do, but I just want to pray that at least you can have a calm and peace Christmas and I will trust God to watching for my life. Don't worry about me. Although sometimes in my unstability, I sometimes cried for my lackness in emotional, financial and this hard living, but at least I can smile when I remmeber that in the back of this coin I can find the ultimate picture of Love, wonderful God who sustains us every single second. If I have enough for call you, I will try to make closer connection and warmer realtionship with you, my beloved family.

Christos Genathe,

Doxa Sate!

Photo sesion before Holiday :P

My very very very favorite website of the month [???] and also for the next month

the nominees are:
mail.telkom.net by PT Telkom
Youtube.com by google
akupercaya.com
http://southern-orthodoxy.blogspot.com/ by Father Joseph Huneycutt


ANd the award granted to:

http://southern-orthodoxy.blogspot.com/ by Father Joseph Huneycutt

SOulSpeech: Deep Message, a Reflection on Fr John Oliver's Sermon A SACRED HUNGER

Sometime ago, I heard a podcast from www.ancientfaith.com , a really wonderful website that has influenced my life in these recent ocassions. I have been very familiar with that website for about a half year. It has been really wonderful to know such nice website contains about a really authentic and ancient faith of christianity which has passed trough very long, long time. Exactly, the faith of a hundred times of my own age now.

It is also so great that the sound being proclaimed is just really original belief of Christianity, without manipulation of human interest or pleasure! Awesome, may be that word I suggest to represent my appreciation to this online internet radio station.

Ok, so now back to the reflection on Fr John Oliver's podcast. It is really true and this sentence is a quote fronm him
"God places within us a hunger for fellowship with Himself and creation. But too often man distorts that hunger into an appetite for temporary pleasure."

So true, Father and that is what I feel in my youth age, right now. And I just really amazed how you describe and contrast Sacred Hunger with appetite. Wonderful. That's true! So the exposure promote discontentment and discontentment gives birth to desire and those irrealistic or 'wrong' desires leads to appetite which will never ends. And these cycle back again over time.


Whoa, I just keep thinking that thought during this week and I just found this is so true. Thanks Lord for your great mercy upon me, Thy humble servant that Thou giveth me so simple yet deep wisdom. Glory to Thee O God, Glory to Thee.

And Fr John Oliver, I really thank you for wonderful wisdom you share with me!
Bless me, Father...

Yudhie
And Greetings from Indonesia

Holiday Vs. Peak Bussines

I am smiling when I realize where I am now!! O God, it's just a really hard yet perfect mixture of hope, exhaustion, confusion and cheers. How come? yes, because during this last two weeks, I just being very uncertain about what todo. Should I make a mind map to help me? May be yes. Yes for the reason to make me clearer and to verify what is th urgent thing and what the things I can do later.
So, I have not written them down yet. And honestly I dunno why I am so confused until become so lazy by this time to acomplish or even touch my work.
One thing I suggest as one of the probabilities is that I am not really clear with my own expectation. This is what generally speaking we called Vision. Lord, have mercy may your visin direct me once again in your Path then I can go trough and obey your divine will.

ANd what I can conclude also as one of my weakness in this semester is that I had not been so good in the filing (I mean managed the files for some courses in this term) and the result is.... I can't study Chemistry such in good condition because whenever I want to study, I just not certain what materials I should read since I could not find those I need and I just find uncomplete files. RESOLUTION!!!!


I realize, at last!

My days of Heartbeat ft. SOulSpeech: Boredom, Friendship and Fatherhood

Hey, in this edition, I welcome my really awesome guest from Russia. His name is Kato Hetch. He is a great man, an Orthodox faithful. He's been like my father. Good Russia!

My Days of Heartbeats: From China to Russia and then go offline for next week

Lippo Karawaci, November 06 2008
Online world, Internet world or virtual world refer to one same form of international network that has influenced the real world of today's youth, and me personally.

This week during my examonoic era (read the previous posting), I decided to get yeah a little bit relaxation and I went on-line and go to msn messenger. And what is so good is that I met a really brilliant and awesome friend from Western Part of A very busy town in China. It's been so fun to chat and share story with him about culture, hobby and many things with Webbe.


Beside that I heard the news about His Holiness Patriarch ALEXY II of Moscow passed into eternal life and I prayed for Russia. And of couse I also really wished the best for Indonesia.
I know that somehow to meet a virtual friend not as complicated as the real friend and therefore I also welcome to Ruth,Tere,Jeko, Bela, and all the members of 2EMM1, and my dormitory friends and I really thanks for your realities :).
I met and shared a little bit my experience during practicum with Mrs. Yen Tjen and I forgot the message form Mr. Jacob Christoper. But that's Ok I think. I wanted also printed the portfolio stuffs, but the TC print is so crowded, so it is Ok, I delay the print until... next week due to holiday...

And by the way... Have a nice and great rest my beloved TC friends. See you soon for you who'll go home. And I am Yudi say sorry and meet you again next week in this blog!!

Ah... It is time for rest!

In the Mystery of Time : His Holiness Patriarch ALEXY II of Moscow passed into eternal life

MOSKOW- (for more complete news: http://www.mospat.ru/) Oh, this is a shocking news for Orthodox faithful, for me personally in this week. Father, may your memory Eternal... Father Alexy passed to eternity on December 05, yesterday and the feeling of lost can be felt trough out the Orthodox world: Russia, Antioch Syria, Greece,Romania, Bulgaria, Carphato-Russia, Serbia, Georgia, Slovakia, Chekoslovakia,Ukraine,Estonia, Poland,Jerusalem Israel, Cyprus, Macedonia, Lebanon and Middle East, USA, Australia and many other countries.
His Holiness Patriarch ALEXY II was born on 23 February 1929 in Tallinn, Estonia, into the family of deeply believing people. His father, Mikhail Alexandrovich Ridiger (+1962)studied in Law College and was a native Pittersburg. His Mother, Yelena Iosifovna Pisareva (+1959) was born in Revel (now Tallinn). From his early childhood Alexey Ridiger served in the church under the guidance of his spiritual father Archpriest Ioann Bogoyavlensky. He was a very briliant student in Leningrad (now St.Petersburg) Theological Seminary and graduated in 1949. After being so faithful in each rank of hierachial ministry, He was enthoned to be Patriarch of Moscow and all Russia in 10 June 1990.
He was the symbol for the struggle of the orthodox church faithful in the struggle amongst the communism era and until now Russian Orthodox church by the grace and mercy of God still survive and also united with the Russian Orthodox Church Ourside Russia (ROCOR),the Church in which Indonesian Orthodox Church (goindo.org),in which I am-- affiliated.
Shalom Aleikem Be Shem Ha Masiakh!

Бог! Сохранить России. Бог! Сохранить и укрепить ее страдания сына, который в силу своей веры и терпения, нести Ваш свидетель в мире. Бог, собрать нас всех в лоне нашей Матери Церкви в нашей Святой Российской Родина, и восстановить ее, вмешаться, сохранения и милосердие с Вашим благодати.
(God! Save Russia. God! Save and strengthen her suffering sons, who in the strength of their faith and patience, carry Your witness to the world. God, gather us all in the bosom of our Mother Church in our Holy Russian Motherland, and restore her, intervene, preserve and have mercy with Your grace.) Amen.

Привет из Индонезии (Greetings from Indonesia!)

My Days of Heartbeat 6: Examonoic Syndrome, Exams eXams exAms

Firstly, I want to welcome all the readers of this private blog :P, thanks for your support and enthusiasm you shared me this season. Ehm I just still clearly remembered when I tried to write my frist blog and my curiousity toward it. And once again by the wonder of time, Now this is december 05, which means I have been writing all these a little bit 'gajebo' things for one month. Awesome, isn't it?(It's OK if you say no!). Special appreciation I give to Dewe; my awesome friend, Gloria, Aras, Mela, Ester, Andre (Elizabeth), Dwi, Merry and all friends who had given me support in many, many things.
Anyway, this is not gonna be a farewell party right? haha. I just write for this premire appreciation and also to remember your wonderful names, guys, because it has been a very much joy to be among you and share my life with you in our beloved Campus, UPH and also our distinct college, Teachers College.
And now, about this week. OK.... It was very obvious that I got the Examonoic Syndrome this week. Exam, exam and exam. It is a very beautiful and such powerful key words for this week. I am excessed by those stuffs about the units, especially for Physical science 2.



Yesterday, among my stresses factors, one of them reach its top, which is the Physics final exam!! I was also uproared by the efforts of my friends and also me to understand the concepts of Light, wave, Sound, Electricity, Magnetism and their friends!! Although I don't really know and answer all the questions in that exam but from the heart of my heart I want to give thanks to Mr. Bimo our lecturer for his patience and faithfulness to teach us. Hope the best for you all!!

Awaiting for Christmas!

Reflection-SOulSpeech-My Days: Vapouring Dew

I can be crazy, Mbah... hohho. But I am not too worry because this gonna be a short time for me to go home and meet my beloved family. But I am very overwhelmed during this week. It is like I have to digest a very long, long crocodile bread at once! How come? I need 'encoding' right now, which is to cut that bread into smaller parts an then to digest that. Because I find that every matter in my mind became so twisted and complicated it is just really like spaghetti or noodle.
I wished in this peak season of the semester I won't be so panic and get exploding!! but it's just not as simple as I think. Everything just come up to my mind and make a little bit confuse about the things I should do! Ah... come on!
But wait, I think actually it requires a 'little missing simple skill', it is like the skill that the primary teachers do. Sorting and categorizing skill! So, before cutting and encoding those many lists to do, I need more steps in clarifying and categorizing them in to each category based on complexity, duration and of course, the importance. And I think I need to write the list to make it sense and more visible. So, I need to: finish my Portfolio, resources folder, Linear Algebra preparation, Chemistry exam, Teaching and Learning Presentation, and also some other things I forgot. Yeah I know it is a bit long list. I better stop here and then smile, take a deep breath and close my eyes!

OK, I can not step my feet twice at once, or I might be fallen! So, Master help me step one by one and finish it according to Thy will. Forgive me my worry and faults. :)

It has been awesome, Lord

Gospodi Pamiluj!

SOulSpeech: Sst! You need rest

I am thinking about how busy I am these months and even in this week. But if I think it twice this is not my body that is tired but my mind, caused by my own self-talk, or my friends they are my own fear, doubt, worries and many other friends. Lord have mercy. Those kind of preoccupation in to my limited memory and exhausted me. Oh... I am overwhelmed and then I am *bored*

I can feel the sense of confusion, and my soul became unrest. I must run, run and run inside my own thinking, ohh I started thinking about so many sophisticate things, the things on the sky which I can not reach. One by one ideal me, everything that is so ideal I want to achieve. I keep demanding to my own strength while my real so weak self is beginning affirm that this is over load. But in my uncomfortable heart I even became more anxious and then.... desperate.

I am a limited human being, even though many times I found my self with unlimited desires even passions but I am a human with the design of certain limitation and boundaries. So often, when I find myself so restless and keep seeking and seeking until I wore out and give up. Now, I am just laughing for my unconsciousness, I need rest anyhow! I need to stay silent and start giving up my own burdens to the Master. I can not deal with those kind of dilemmas by myself. Just stay a moment, smile and find out where I am now. Ahh I have been wandered so far, far away. Why didn't I realize it and be a little bit late, so busy and busy.
Just try to wake up in the morning to see and touch the young leaves and feel the coolness of morning dew with the tip of my finger. Stay silent in the presence of All Peaceful Master and deepen the steps into the stillness of reverence.

Sst! I need rest, yes I will take a time to rest and weep for my past until the relieves come.



Refresh, O Lord my humble soul!

Reflection on Psychology Class with Mrs. Yvette (4)

Yoyoyo.... The time is going on and on and I am still struggle to be an actual 20 years old boy!! Lord have mercy, help me to know what should I do in this kind of age (because I have not experienced it yet, LOL)
Ehm any way I am not going to discuss any matter about age now, even it is a little, very related with that in this topic but I just want to reflect on my today's class with my beloved Canadian teacher: Mrs. Yvette. One thing I awesome from her is that she always gets our heart, my heart personally. She talked with us so 'psychologically' haha. Sounds funny right? Hm... just comfortable to share and talk with her anyhow.
Like I felt today when in the beginning of her class she asked us if anyway we have something need help from her. She offered that to us plainly and sincerely. And for a moment we share our not understanding, worries and burden. And she just inspired us with what she did toward us. She really meant to provide help and be a very flexible teacher. Thanks Lord for giving me such wonderful teacher for us so that we can learn so many things even form the way she speaks and move in the classroom. Just wonderful.

And this morning I got two more presentations from my beloved friends: Rita, Priscillia, Mieke and Moreen, the other group are Albert, Jessica, Ester and Suryo.

Rita, Priscillia, Mieke and Moreen shared us about what they learned about the factors that influence the behaviors:
1. Parenting style
and this is the part that interested me once upon a time and I quite agree with this theory:
Authoritative |High Responsiveness||High Expectation|
Authoritarian |Low Responsiveness||High Expectation|
Permissive |High Responsiveness||Low Expectation|
Uninvolved |Low Responsiveness||Low Expectation|

2. SES (Socio-Economic status)

Which usually related with the parent's income, occupational and status in the community. The influences of SES are:
-Neglected
-Violence
-Poverty

Oo by the way I have spent so much time here so it is better to continue tommorow, OK....

Bye

SOulSpeech: Sparkling Little Moments

When I was walking with a very solemn and calm heart, a thing came to me like a whispering wind to my ears. I nodded and smile finding a hidden treasure for my and many people's heart: simplicity.

In many occasions I often think shopisticately and being failed to hear the voice of cimplicity whenever it came. And because of that my heart keep demanding the unlimited desires. All things needs to be so complicated in order to be beautiful, awesome and great-- that is what sound like.

Actually not, I realized. In my meditation, I discover that I don't need that much time to share my life, to interact and to communicate with my beloved persons in my life. May be in a very casual moment I will need only 10-20 minutes to speak with them in a very meaningful way. I don't need to spend for 24 hours with them in a day!

That this is, I missed so many sparkling little moments. I need to reconsider about this and realize that how wonderful those moments to speak, to listen to and smile at them. So woderful, yet not so many times.
It is true.... I better give my times to share with them and not being bussy only for my self and I need to set up boundaries to my own desires and each event effect today!

Reflections on Mr. Dylmoon's Linear Algebra Class (2)

I felt so enthusiastic today. I found also something new in my mind and this experience was just cool. I sat in the front and I could see that this can increase my engagement in the class for about ehm, just say about 30-36%. So awesome, this day I follow every single word spoken by Mr. Dylmoon, and the result is that the lesson made me sense.

Hm, and then for the lesson, today we're learning about the concept of Vector space (V). in cluding ten axioms or properties of this vector space, they are:
Slide 2

n

1. u+v in V

n2. u+v = v+u

n3. (u+v)+w = u+(v+w)

n4. there is a zero vector 0 in V such that u+0=u

n5. For each u, there is a vector –u in V such that u+(-u)=0

n6. the scalar multiple cu is in V

n7. c(u+v) = cu+cv

n8. (c+d)u = cu+du

n9. c(du) = (cd)u

n10. 1u = u

and also some Vector Subspaces with their properties and definition.
It has been so good to pay a really careful attention to the teacher so that I will learn maximally. I also pray for my friends may they also can learn well and can be such wonderful teachers in the future.

It's been awesome, Lord!

My days of heartbeat 4

LIPPO VILLAGE, NOVEMBER 27 2008






Ehm.... Today is a very wonderful day, just awesome. I studied so long in the library while listening to the Serbian music. That was so fantastic and I just like absorbed to the aura of cheers, mystical and joy. It has been so wonderful also to learn about Romanian history and may be I want to learn more about Eastern Europe history whenever I have enough time. Fantastic!


I worked my Linear Algebra homework and eventually I have already finished! Glory to God. This week is also so wonderful week. A time of deepening faith, less stress and full of harmony. But I also learned this week from many resources and reading wheter it is about history, about my faith, read Close to Home blog, myocn.net, national geographic and many other precious knowledge which has been strengthening my faith and character. I learned, especially form my faithful brother and sister in the Orthodox community, my spiritual father and also my friends, and many other peoplle around me--one thing, that is not to focus on my own will or desire, but always God be the focus of my life.






Sometimes I also should confess that I am so selfish and think about myself too much. I also am at risk of social alienation, but Lord, have mercy.... I always whisper that in my mind riminding me how unworthy I am and the need for me to repent each day, each time.


I also want to lean more to understand the heart of my neigbors which God has placed around me and I am be around them. Although I don't understand perfectly or completely but... Lord have mercy, I should not try that in my own strength. I surrender to you O Lord.


I am waiting for the time to celebrate the prayer together again next week in Cimone, I really wait for that. And after that I am longing to see my father in Lampung and want to celebrate my coming Christmas with him and his family. Oh... what a wonderful day. I wish I could help Herbetd, more communicative with Edberg, getting more friendly with Jeko, Robert and Mas Mudi and also have appreciation to Mas Putro, Wangsit and Mike and may God always bless those my dorm-mate!


I would go for Suab now and it's just wonderful day, Lord!

Reflections on Mr. Karsten's Chemistry Class (2)

Lippo Village, November 26 2008


Hey, today he is still very funny. I felt very enthusiastic in the class of this German teacher to study more and more about chemistry. One thing that he always did in the beginning of the class is asking: "Mau belajar apa kita sekarang?" [What we are going to learn this time?]. Many students answered him in a kidding way and finally Ricky, my friends shout "Chemistry!" and he said with smile "Benar.....". Well so now we continued the lesson about Acids and bases.

I remember about Bronsted (Denmark) -Lawry (England) theory of acid and bases are:
acid: proton donor
bases: proton acceptor,
while in the Lewis theory, the acid is an electron acceptor and base is electron provider.
He also expained clearly about the concept of Auto ionization of water:
H2O<>H3O+ and OH-

Strong acids are the acids that give up all their free electron to form the compound. For examples: HCl, H2SO4, they can disassociate perfectly in the water.

Extent of disassociation
Ka= [H3O+][A-]/[HA][H2O]. Because the extent of [H2O] is too small, then the equation will become:
Ka= [H3O+][A-]/[HA]

and for the scale of Ka, pKa=-log Ka.

And then for the Reaction rate, the speed of amount change over time in a chemical reaction.
Fast reactions for example oxidation in fruits, fireworks, explosion '
Slow reaction for examples, corrosion, and decomposition

The chemical changes in reactions that we can observe are: the color, the volume, and the conductivity.
So, the Reaction Rate R=[A]/t
and for instantaneous Rate limit of dA/dt.

Reflection on Psychology Class with Mrs. Yvette (3)

Today I learned so many things from my beloved friends' presentations. Thanks before for all my friends who did their presentations today: Bela, David, Frans, and Marlene about the Misbehavior, Ruth, Saras, Juned and Bernard for their explanations about Classroom routine, and for Rica, Lisa, Mela, Sandro who discussed about Infractions.

the first one is about the routines,
Definition: a repetitious actions which be done in the classroom during the days of school.
Routines can prevent chaos, confusion, and promote the disciplines among the students and the relationship of students and the teacher.
Here are some tips that they gave us to deal with the classroom routines:
-consider your grade
-make a guideline about the instructions'
-invite the students to set the procedures
-the rules and procedures should be reasonable
-clear rules
-have a copy of that and do rehearsal
-be consistent
- model the routines

When the rule becomes a routine, than the rule may works effectively
for example:
desk arrangement, devices for routine, and essential agreement

Positive and negative of the classroom routine:
+:
-discipline
-conducive
-no reason to break the routine
__:
-hard to start
-may not be easy for the primary students
-and may make some of the students uncomfortable

Thanks once again for Ruth, Saras, Juned and Bernard!!! Bravo

Then for Misbehavior Infractions from wonderful friends, Rica, Lisa, Mela, Sandro

Current approaches to deal with kinds of behaviors:
+praising the desired behaviors
+ignoring inappropriate behavior
+desist:
-Clarity and tones -clear communication -withitness -effective instructions

The differences between
Punishments and Consequences
P | not related with the misbehavior |C|related
P| aversive |C|commensurate
P| have no choice |C|have choice
P|made or agreed by the teacher only |C|agreed by all class members

Guidelines for interventions:
(in my previous postings)
Promote good relationship by good communications
and also with parents as soon as possible to tackle to problem
ask help from mentors or experts
find a good mentors

And then the next group about Misbehavior:
There are three major factors suggested affect on behaviors:
SES (Socio Economic Status), Violence, and Negligence

Thanks for Bela, David, Frans, and Marlene

This Precious Moment:TC Assembly November 24 2008

Monday, November 24

Today, Lord touched my heart in the assembly with my friends. My tears dropped from my eyes when I deeply sing "You're all I want.... You're all I ever needed.... You're I want, help me to know You're near...." I don't know what was my feeling but what I know was that my heart felt so embraced with the exact word I said. That's just amazing moment.
Asty, Alin and Yovi shared their practicum experience in Daan Mogot, Cikarang and Lampung to us and their story also awake me from the calling that he has given to me.
Mrs. Connie preached to us a very nice experience of the graduate student who told her problem to her. It's just encouraging me. She also encouraged us to reflect on what is the real meaning of Christmas for me. It's just make me keep reflecting on what she shared today.

One statement that really stick in my thought is that: "You want it or not, or you aware or not times is going on and on and never come back again. So, consider how you spend your time." Oh, that was so true. So I just think in my heart how precious is the time that God has entrusted for me to live --and to repent each day.

Amazing moment, Lord!

My days of heartbeat 3

week 2 of November 2008

Hm, a really hard week! many things to be done. Wake up, wake up Yudi! I need to check all my assignment so that I will not late to do all those precious tasks. But, I felt so tired, oops btw I have just realized that this is one of my 'emotional code' inside my mind: I have said the word tired so much and anyway I start wandering why does it become a very important code in my mind?


May be that's it, not only me but also many of my friends feel the same feeling, a bit *tired*, oops again! heheh. But actually nothing is bad about tired (if only we're tired because of work), because by that we'll know the meaning rest and peace.


Rejoicefully, this week I can do the sport with my friends: Aras, Zeus and .... (I forgot!), that's good, I think and I want to do the sport again this week with my friends.

About SUAB or Dutasia crew: ehm, Ricky I wish you get well from your boredom and be enthusiastic again and for Wida, happy birthday, sis and do the best for our beloved dutasia. And good for Dwi, Danang, Candy (or Sandy), Dewi, Childa and Sharon. May god bless you!

And last night I felt so good because really that is I desir, to trust my Lord in everything of my life. and also twas great experience to be in one communion with the faithful brother and sister P Yafet, Ci Lily, Pak Didi, Cici, Pak Andy, Yafet's child and all people in orthodox comunity. I will pray always for you, my beloved.


And about my dorm..... Ehm, Edberg happy Birthday ya, although bit late, I still hope that we can strengthen our good friendship thanks for supervise us! Robert, although you're over (n. lebay; berle) but you're so funny and I really enjoy to be with you. Keep your smile and cheers. Herbetd, awesome friend: I will try to contact you sometimes and sorry for not having enough time to help you study this time. Wangsit: will we join yoga to make our body flexible.... LOL. Good for you sleepy boy! Mas Mudi, nice to share opinion about many things with you. Dun tease me with my kamboskini, Ok!!! Mike, good pictures! Those are the pics of the week, but btw that's like a pre-wedding photos, haha. Jecko: hey you're a good guitar player, amazing good for ur magazine. Mas Putro, sorry for playing your violin without permision and I really thank you for wonderful Taize music you played in the mornings this week and also for violin :P!





Great week, Lord.

SOulSpeech:Unlimited desires

Sunday, November 23rd in Lippo village

When I lay myself in my bed yesterday in the noon, I was thinking about something interesting. As I move forward and breathed deeply, I was realized that now I have been 20 years long way in traveling around my life. It's been long!
I found that, it is true when somebody said that the world and an earth is too large for a single man, yet to fulfill a man's desires, may be this world would never enough.
So often I caught myself into 'pinnochio's candy trap'. So many passions, so many desires and wants. I was drown in my own imagination, fantacy and self-satisfactionism. And then I began to loose my self in a very misserable way.

I want a good cloth, good career, wonderful days, briliant grades, satisfying meals, warm friends, genius manner, healthy body, fantastic relationship, comfortable environment. I want this and I want that, so much things. I thougt that If I can reach or get those all I will be so happy and being perfect but is that the fact?

Anyway that seems to be, but not necessarily. Even I was being the 'slave' and also the captives of my own deceitful desires. My true happiness is not in those kinds, my full desires can only be met in My Lord who has been given the power of all in the heaven and earth.

Lord, have mercy. Give me wisdom to aware of the traps around me by humble myself to your will and not to my desires. Amen

SOul Speech: Never Force

I was really impressed whenever this thing come out to my mind. How wonderful the Love of my God is. He is so mighty and powerful and absolutely, he can do many things in my life. As St. Sebastian said: "God made you without you consider about it. Yet, It is trully amazing that although he can do all things in his Majestic power, except to compel or force me to love him! He wants my love is love from a voluntary heart, grateful and thankful. It's really awesome!

Lord, have mercy because manytimes I didn't realize your strong yet awesome grace, that you never force me to love you. But, Thou O Lord, Love me, unworthy one unceasingly and until I love you....

Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner

Reflections on Mr. Dylmoon's Linear Algebra Class

Lippo Village, November 21 2008

Oh.... Finally, this is weekend! Yeah I am so glad for passing such a though week after practicum. I start exploding haha. I need rest and a little refreshing moment. Anyway but that's not for last night. I fel very stess and burdened because I got so many homeworks and also going to Exam!! I just played and enjoy the violin to supress the stress. Even though Herbetd, Edberg, Robert and Jeko (my room mates) teased me and suggested me to finish my concert, I'd not pay attention to them :P, I enjoyed my self.

Tis just remind me to the concept of self efficacy, maybe because I felt that the assignment given is a bit hard so my natural being wanna to flee or escape. Therefore it is also connected to the concept about escapism in my article under title of "Substitute".

OK, now depart from psycho talk and then to my reflection on today's class. It've been awesome by the way, because I felt really life in the classrom. The explanation about determinant, adjoint and inverse of matrices made me sense.

And I remembered one thing about the determinant can be solved with several ways; general way, Row operation, etc.

Or by using cofactor relation which I can get from (-1)^i+j [ad-bc]. The adjoint is [(Cofactors)]t.

And then A-1 is 1/det A [Adjoint].

After the lecture, I attended the exam. I was very enthusiastic to be one table with Mella, Ko Ko Petrias, Saras, n friends. And that's not as hard as I tought before, hm and thank you for Mr. Dylmoon!

OK, Bravo Mathematics......

I always love math stuffs

I Love to work with SLH Officers

Lippo Village, November 20 2008

Good and nice experiences I get when I am working in SLH (Sekolah Lentera Harapan) office. I just smile and give thanks to the Lord for the oportunity he has given for me to get involved in this ministry. I can see how great is the hope for schooling among the unfortunate children in the remote area in Indonesia, especially SLH students from Lampung, Nias, Jakarta and some of Java regions.

I use to read their wish, dreams and the story of their lives and that just make me realize that I must have been grateful to the Lord for my condition right now and it invite me to pray for those pupils. Although sometimes I don't really kow about what I should do there in the office but I am so excited by that kind of social work. That really encourage me to do something by God's grace to others.

I thank to K Joy, K Raisha, K Sri, Pak Lucky, and the others for such a good collaboration with me to do job to glorify God!

Best wishes for SLH!

Reflection on Psychology Class with Mrs. Yvette (2)

Now I am learning about behaviour intervention in the classrom, and for this section I will focus on Cognitive interventions, which emphasize on students understanding of rules and instructions. There are three kinds of infractions suggested by Eggen and Kauchack in their book.
1. Verbal-non verbal congruence, means that effectively express the instruction or expectations not only by using words but also supported with approriate body language. The important acts may including proximity, eye contact, body orientation, facial expression, gestures, and vocal variations.
2. I Message, characterized by:
- promote students understanding by using 'I' perspective
-non accusatory, instead support good relationship
-address the sudents behaviour and not their character or personality weakness.
3. Logical consequences,
-conceptually related to the students actions so that the students may see the link between the misbehaviours and consequeces. They learn cause and effect.

When and how to use punishments properly?
-use it as infrequently as possible
-immediately and directly to the behaviour
-to the severe case
-explain and model it to the students

SOulSpeech: More or less

I found something really interesting thing during this week. And this is about my soul and still related to the previous topic about emotional coding and substitute. One thing I found that is so significant is the son of 'ideal image vs real image'. Many times I desire something large, huge and enormous and based on that desire I am starting to glance at my neighbors have. This is the origin of comparative.
Yeah, so I start compare myself with my friends or other people around me. Inside, I am really keen to be bigger, smarter, more valuable than another student or whoever. The sense of specialty and uniqueness spread out in a very dangerous way. I start to defense my self and strive to be better, bigger and greater. I start fear whenever I find my self fool or bellow other persons. That including my possession, goods, skills, achievement or anything.
I am just wandering why? That is the sign of feeling unsafe. I am not secured with my own real self now. The mental or emotional code inside my mind being sent is that I need to recognized, why? Because I didn't get enough, so I am searching. Why the self is fear? Because of the doubtfulness and worry.
I begin my ideal image based on what I have and what other people said to me. And that really endanger my dignity.yes, I am not sure with my dignity. Therefore I started to defense my self from those kind of feeling by using what I believe can escape me from those lacking. SO I start to find anything to make the self felt valued and precious. The more preferable way than others in many cases are to build the self-value above others. On this point the manipulation begin to work.
So often the manipulative mode manifested in such behaviors as showing good things to other, demonstrate skills overly and many other things to build an image that I am ideal. But however that is so manipulative. I am fear about more or less, that's the core. I face the dilemma of being smaller or greater. I hate to be less and tend to be more, may be because I experienced very things that made me hurt when I was less.
It's so important to retain the mental or emotional code in my mind that being less doesn't always mean I loose my dignity or uniqueness. Never deal with 'more vs less' in such away in the context of comparative based on fear or unsecured feeling, but see it in the term of love and uniqueness.

Reflection on Mr. Bimo's Physics Class

We're still discussing about Electricity and magnetism. Honestly, when I learn about this, I just remember about Tesla, a very genius guy from Serbia. Hm today we discuss about Juned's question about to intersecting wires.
Should one wires, especially the one that is horizontal or second wire affect to the first one? After discussing for an amount of time, the answer is no. Why? because the angle factor of the sistem. Because,
F=BIlsin0, so the effect is zero. That's good idea.
Finished with those explanations about Magnetism, we continued to the Light properties. We started with the simplest one, about reflection of light and then moved forward to the refraction mode.
It's nice because I can recall the information about this from my Middle Years. Some of them are about the mirror. Concave one and the convex one. I'll also remember that for concave, the size of image will be larger, virtual and upside down. (if I am not wrong :P).
And then, the equation for mirrors is:
1/d0+1/di = i/f
and for magnification, M= [di/d0]. That's what I remember from lesson today :)

God is good!