SOulSpeech on Subtitute



Sometimes, escapism is really interested me. I had to face many circumtances that force me to be so overwhelming, frustated or shame. It is much sugar I think if I would just fly and to be beyond the sky, or even in paradise. That's really an ideal thing, right?
But, It's just crazy anyway, and I just became so "as-if-ish". because I just want to flee from such situation that really threat my comfort zones. I must flee now, yes right now or In my favor I say, Ah... that's enough I don't neccesarily deal with this kind. God never ask me to be overtrust nor believe in him in very radical way.
It's time to move from here now, because it is no more useful to me or make me happy, there's no more pleasure I can seek and find. It's just fine if I just use avoidance approach!
In many unexpected and overwhelming event especially if it became so exerting and hurting me. The golden way I would to choose is to run away. "I am not ready" or 'I better look for another self'. The conflict between real image and ideal image became so obvious.
I don't have any laptop with me or I don't have anything better than someone else. I am affraid or at least I am ashame for my lackness, so if my friends ask or invite me to do anything riveting with those things, I would prefer to stay away. I need to rescue my self fom hurt, shame or embarrasment.
It is more favorable to me to hide behind the screen, work by my self, watch interesting videoand manything in the withdrawal sceleton toward other. I'll keep my self steril from such painful and unavoidable yet subtituteable with other thing which more pleasureable.

But I forgot one thing, that is I don't need subtitute except Jesus! Just as Jesus never used subtitute for his sacrifacial act, instead He surrender and drown himself to the obedience and love to the father. He chose to be faithful to the Father even in the hardest time of his pilgrim.
God has trusted me with bearable yoke, even it is a light yoke to make me still in his arm, so I will trust him in the time when subtitutes seemed to be more satisfatory.

With in the Soul,

Yudi

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